


Perhaps Love

by BleueCloud



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Action/Adventure, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Love, Manga & Anime, Romance, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-05
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-30 05:36:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 50,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5152274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BleueCloud/pseuds/BleueCloud
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're a smart 19 year old girl (who curses a lot), owner of a chemical company with your cousin Klein. Holtz Chemicals.<br/>Trying to get the company out of the debts, you make an illegal deal you know, it won't be easy to escape from.<br/>The thing is...the Survey Corps, meaning, Erwin and Levi, will make it even more complicated after they discover what you're doing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. HOLTZ CHEMICALS

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own SNK, but I own the story. I wrote this without thinking too much, just trying to write something (it will get better, I promise). Hope you like it. Sorry for any grammatical mistake, english is not my first language. Thanks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of a terrible journey, making deals you should not do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Guys. New chapter.  
> This can be pretty terrible, I'm writing it on the spot. I may edit it and write it better next time  
> hope you like it, please comment!  
> I do not own SNK, but I own the story.  
> Sorry for any grammar mistake, english is not my mother tongue  
> See you next week!

- _So Fucking Fantastic!, now we don´t have anything to sell today or tomorrow…_  
 _-I’m sorry ma’am, I swear I thought I did!_  
 _-Vince, you didn’t . I'm not an idiot, the site told me they never received the payment nor the order to bring the goods_  
 _-oh…I’m so sorry! Please spare me, just once! Don’t fire me! You k’ow I have 3 children at home and my wife is sick_ –said Vince on his knees begging and crying like a hungry baby. Was not the first time, and will not be the last.  
- _Whatever Vince, just be careful next time. Just get lost, go eat or something, damn…_  
 _-Yes. YES MA’AM!! I WILL WORK HARD_ -said the man leaving the room. He knew I changed my mind as fast as he could run.

- _So, what’s the plan now?_ –asked Klein while trying to figure out what to do with the accounting books on is desk and the papers of the failed transaction.  
- _Nothing, we’re fucked. Call James or some shit, tell him we’re buying that stupid merch of his._  
 _-Are ya sure? I thought that wasn’t an option for you, you said it was too risky because of the Survey Corps…_  
 _-We have no choice, do we?_  
 _-Still, I can try something else; doing business with James …we all know what he does…_  
 _-We have debts, a deal with the Flavian Clan and the payment to the workers, we are not in a situation to seek the mercy of the lord and wait for a miracle to save our asses!_  
 _-(y/n)…_  
 _-Klein, FOR FUCKS SAKE, LISTEN!, We. Are. Fucked, we have no goods, thanks to Vince; meaning, we will have nothing to sell for two damn days, the Flavian Clan is asking for us to show up with something tonight at 7, and believe me; I’m too young to die, or marry some fat-ass gang prick. So, if you still have some sense of duty, and don’t want to end up in my marriage or funeral banquet, I recommend you to move your ass to James and tell him we will buy his merchandise. Today, right now._  
 _-....roger, (y/n)_ –Klein answered picking up his coat and going out quietly. I know he was doubting my decision, but was a matter of life and death.

 

 _-I hate you Vince…. I’m more than fucked now…._ -I said out loud almost crying in my desk- _I really don't want to lose the company...I've worked so hard_.

 

I’ve been in the chemical business for quite some time now. After dad passed away, I was left with my 23 y/o cousin Klein, my accountant, to deal with everything. The thing is, years after the breach on wall Maria, the business has been affected by the black market, mafia clans and lack of support from the government to get the materials for the chemicals, to make medicine. Not including the debts my dad left before dying to make some kind of “miraculous cure” that was going to make us rich, it doesn't exist.

Because the whole situation is a mess, I had to explore/expand the market of my company, starting to work for chemical companies and their weird personal orders, getting not-so-known goods (not illegal, yet) to sell, and make my own discoveries to treat special cases that cannot be sent to a hospital.

...Always trying to avoid the stupid drug market, the one James is in, for moral and ethic issues, I guess. But now, I’m fucked, I’m in...

The Flavian clan is the strongest mafia clan in Trost and the underground city, they have been our clients for a couple of years.  
We started that relationship after Klein, stupidly went, for some drinks, to a bar downtown and ran in the middle of a fight between two clans, he was kidnapped and to save his ass, he made a deal.  
Now we are their providers, personal hospital and now the intermediaries of their eerie deals. Perfect, right?, tonight’s deal was that we had to give them our best chemical for them to use or sell, and we got nothing. If I don’t show up, heads will roll, mine specially… what brings me to James. I know I will get triple or more the amount of money for this new drug, BUT, I will be in a huge mess if I’m discovered, and I’ve opened a door I should not have opened….why? because this drug is special, has something to do with titans and is more than illegal.

\-----

- _So, missy (y/n) is now interested in the deal_ -James had this particular smile that is quite disgusting, he always thought he looked sexy. Klein was more than uncomfortable watching the old fat man on his desk petting his old fat cat.  
- _Well yeah, we need it for before 6pm today, so just tell me how much_  
 _-Oh, is it urgent? wow, I didn't know your company were in this situation. (y/n) could have asked for my help way earlier...btw shouldn't (y/n) be here then?_  
 _-She's busy James. Can you stop this useless chit chat and tell me how much?_  
 _-Well, I'll give the kilo for 10 gold coins_  
 _-10?! you said 7 last time!, like 3 days ago!_  
 _-Sorry, but you are not hot like the hard-to-get missy, and she's not here..._  
 _-You wish, she would break half of your bones if she were here..._  
 _-I like strong girls, they're good in bed_  
 _-You're a disgusting old man...say something about her again and I will kill you_  
 _-Oh, the accountant got mad. Well, you have two options Klein, or you buy it or you go bankrupt...your choice_ -Said James lighting up a cigar  
_-Allright, pack 3 kilos, put it in this bag_  
 _-Deal, oh, you said, before 6pm right?_  
 _-Yes, why?_  
 _-No, just asking. If you have to deliver that at that time, you will face some trouble_  
 _-What d'you meam?_  
 _-Haven't you heard? the Survey Corps are on tight security because of the mafia clans lately_  
 _-...Ah right, I'll deal with that somehow_  
 _-I hope so...(y/n) wouldn't look good in prision rags, but she may look a bit sexy_  
 _-Shut up James_

\----

Two weeks ago there was some kind of weird uproar in Trost because of the 'wallists'. The rumor was never really known by the people but it was in the mafia world. "The drug to control the titans", "The drug to become a titan" that was it. Maybe that's what James is in, I don't know, but the Survey Corps have been really serious about getting that information and the real drug out of the high ups of the clans. More than one confrontation happened because of this.  
Commander Erwin Smith was not pleased, after a week he had nothing and the situation turned more tense. So, three days ago a new report appeared on the wall of the city, made by Mr. Smith himself, expressing the intention of investigating all chemical, medical and pharmaceutical companies in the city, until finding final proof about "illegal" deals regarding a certain drug.

 

\- _Are you sure is there?_  
 _-(y/n), I'm not Vince, I checked the address, before going to James_  
 _-Better be fucking right then_  
 _-Can't you speak without cursing just once?,_  
 _-Can't you nag like a little prick just once? just watch the road_ -I was nervous, hell yes I was. I was looking out the map that Klein draw at the company before leaving in the carriage.  
_-Stop it_ -said Klein being impatient  
- _What?_  
 _-Stop moving your leg, are you that nervous?_  
 _-Kinda, I just feel like everybody watches me as if they knew what we're doing_ -I didn't stop moving my leg, Klen knew. He just kept driving the carriage in silence feeling as bad as I was, with the fear of being caught, red handed.  
- _The Corps are there.._.-said Klein quietly, slowing down- they don't look as if they're checking the carriages, stay calm  
- _hmm_ -and went through the Survey Corps security point trying my best acting skills, I saw those piercing blue eyes...as if he could read my thoughts and my soul. He was just standing right next to a tent, talking with another captain, but he turn his head just to look my way. A short black haired man appeared and said something to him, he nodded and glanced at me once again, and just for a second, I saw it,

  
_That face..._

\----

  
~AN HOUR EARLIER~

 _-Secure every exit, make sure no one gets out, Hange, go check the deposit, see if there's a tunnel or hidden rooms, Levi, you come with me_ -Erwin got the information that he was desperately wanting. Two days ago they got lucky finding the hideout of a little mafia cell, after days of torture and questioning Levi got the name of James, as a famous drug dealer.

30 members were used to the mission of getting James out of his "Furniture" company, discovering a vast number of illegal drugs in his house and other establishments on his name and, having a little laboratory under his furniture deposit.

- _I beg you Sir, don't kill me! I...I'll help you! but don't kill me!!_ -James practically shit his pants, he couldn't deny anything with all the stuff Erwin already found. For once, the fat man, look miserable, and hopless, crying for a way to convince the Commander of lighten up his sentence.  
- _Shut up piece of shit, don't you see how fucked up you are?_ -said Levi, looking the books the man had in his desk locked  
- _We will not kill you. We will handle you to the military police after revising everything and they will give the proper sentence_ -said Erwin while checking a page in one of the books Levi gave to him - _But you said you wanted to help, do you ind explaining what's this?_  
James hesitated when he saw the last page he wrote that day- _That....that's...._  
- _Just say it idiot, we don't have all day!_ -yelled Levi again.  
- _Is....That's a new drug I found out a month ago_ \- James finally spilled  
- _Is that the drug of the rumor? "The titan control drug?"_ -asked Erwin again  
- _Ehhhhh, yes guess it is..._  
 _-You guess? Is your fat affecting your memory or some shit?_ -Levi make his way to James and kicked him in the stomach, leaving the man without air on the floor - _what the hell is this?_

There was a paper folded and a bag with coins on James jacket, Erwin took them and saw that content. 30 gold coins a paper with details of the transaction and a name.  
_-Who the fuck is Klein Hotlz?_  
 _-Is...Is the accountant of Hotlz Chemicals...sir..._  
 _-Holtz Chemicals? says here they bought this drug today, right?_  
 _-Yes, yes Commander, they're almost bankrupt, they bought it to sell it_  
 _-To whom?_  
 _-Maybe the mafia Erwin, who else?_ \- answered Levi  
Erwin took a moment to think - _We will need to talk to the owner of Holtz Chemicals_ -he finally said  
- _That may be a bit difficult_ \- said James - _She's not in the company either..._  
- _What does that mean?_  
 _-She's actually the one who bought the drug Sir....they're probably on their way, they had a meeting at 6 or 7pm_  
 _-I see....we have to move fast then, Levi, take 10 men, prepare the horses and let's go the east point of Trost, They should pass through there soon._  
 _-How do you know is on the East?_  
_-If they're almost bankrupt, the need money, the only way to get big cash on drugs is though the Flavian Clan, and they rule the East._  
 _-Allright, let's go_ -commanded Erwin  
_-Wait!!_ -exclaimed James - _so... will I get a lower sentenc.._ -Levi shut him up on the spot with another kick, right in the face - _can't you see we're busy?, this idiot_.

\----  
_-Commander I got the information you asked, I will confirm it now_  
 _-Alright Eren_ -Mr. Smith made sure everything was done for his arrival on the East security point and asked for pictures or drawings of the Holtz.  
_\- I think they're really near if they're not here already-_ said Mike  
- _I'm sure they are, I just want to be sure_ -said the Commander watching the carriages that were passing and saw a young (h/c) girl on one. She was particularly beautiful, and there was something that catched his attention, her eyes.  
Levi walked towards Erwin fast to give the information -As the fat old man said, the Holt girl is a (h/c) girl on her 19s, people saw her leaving in her carriage with her cousin Klein Hotlz, in a white dress and blue coat, an a while ago.  
- _Yes, just as James said, a unique particularly beautiful woman_ -said Erwin aner nodding to Levi's words and looking at (y/n) again. Levi followed his eyes, both men saying at the same time:

 

_-It's her_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it guys??, If you liked it, please comment and submit ideas, critics, etc. I'm open to make the story you like. Give me ideas, no matter if they're nasty and sexual, this story will have some of that later.  
> I will upload a new chapter on Wednesday or Thursday, wait for it!!  
> Love u guys.


	2. The Flavian Ways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin saw me? what do I do now?
> 
> Is not sure if all this will go smoothly, I just hope to end this deal quicky and go back...but what would happen if Klein and I end up in the Flavian claws?  
> What should we do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I promised, a new chapter is here!  
> I think this is way better, hope you like it.  
> Like I told you, I'm writing this on the spot, so I don't really know how this will end, but, it will be nice.
> 
> I do now own SNK, but I own the story.

_We’re here. The famous Flavian hideout._

 

Full moon for tonight, quite good. My cousin knew where to go; at one point we vanished into the forest where there were no sign of human intervention. – _We need to leave the carriage here and keep moving, is risky if we keep going like this_ –he said. We walked for 10 minutes until we were on the place the map was pointing at. We waited for people to show up, listening to the beautiful silence of the dark woods. I had to grab Klein’s hand to feel reassured about the whole deal. And then it was all black.

_-Boss, she’s awake!_ –I heard with the poor vision I had, and a headache? They really hit us? What shitty manners coming from the best ‘clan’ _-Hey woman, open your eyes already and stand up!-_ He screamed again.

- _Stop it already, my head hurts you damn idiot._ –I saw to my surroundings fast looking for someone- _Where’s Klein? Where’s my cousin?!_ –I was completely lost; I was in some kind of room, a nice one with this guy full of tattoos on his arms. Maybe we were brought to the Flavian main house? The man was just looking at me like a damn retard. – _I asked where my cousin was you imbecile, are you deaf?_

- _Your cousin is having dinner some girls. Can you fucking stand up? The boss is waiting for you_ –is what the dude finally said. I did as told, and faced the guy again – _wait a second, did you say my cousin was having dinner with… -with some girls, the boss told him to do that because he wanted to talk to you alone. Can we go? I wasted almost an hour waiting for you to wake up_ –he opened the door of the room for me, they had this ‘Asian style’ house, wooden floor and sliding doors. – _An hour?? How so? Did you really hit me? -_ Trying to match the pieces of the puzzleand obeying the man words I was asking still confused. He grabbed my arms firmly with his hand and let it out all at once – _You had your eyes closed when we arrived, when we were trying to get you, you pulled of a fight and fall to the floor hitting your head and passing out. You’re here, your cousin gave us the merchandise and he fucking wants to talk to you, can you shut the fuck up and finish this now??!_

_-Rude_ –I finished walking through the long corridors on my own with the tattooed guy following me exasperated. – _Well, where is it?_ –I asked again. – _Last door at the end._ – said turning away and disappearing.

In my life I’ve seen such a large room. The ‘boss’ was there in the middle waiting for me taking a sip of tea out of his ornamented golden tea cup, he looked happy for some reason, and even more after seeing me – _Come closer (y/n), don’t be afraid –_ his words almost sounded like a song, but what kind of thing to say, so cliché – _All bad men say that before killing their prey, aren’t you a bit obvious? Mr…?_

_-Nahara. –_ and he laugh, I could almost swear his breath was as disgusting as James ‘appearance, they even look alike. – _You’re a very funny lady miss (y/n). But on the contrary, I’m pleased, and very much with what you’ve given me as a gift._

Mr. Nahara was the boss on the Flavian Clan. Even though it was known the Asian race was whipped out when the walls appeared, just one family was left inside. I have to suppose Mr. Nahara was another exception. He found a way to survive and his father was the founder ad now he’s in charge as the heir.

When Klein was kidnapped that time he was here, in their base, and even when we’ve been their source of medical care and providers, they’ve never tried direct contact with me. This is the first time.

_-I guess I have to be glad because of that, I happen to live a bit more_ –I smiled sarcastically, I hated this, I knew there was some sort of game or play behind this. _–You’re indeed a character as Klein said._ – _Yeah, I should have been an actress._ I sat in front of him and his little gold tea table. I could see him better; I could even see the details on his purple silk robe.

_-You gave me a really unusual drug this time, a quite valuable one. Are you aware of its content or its effect?_

_-No I’m not; I heard that it was indeed valuable and very ‘juicy’ for the clans nowdays. To be frank, it wasn’t my intention to deal with this kind of things, is against my ethical ways, but I’m in a situation where to save my company and workers is more important than my pride and ethics.  I hope a great reward for it –_ I grabbed the gold kettle and poured tea in an empty cup. This guy wasn’t going to make me anything but frightened. _–So, how much do I get?_

He was thinking, hard; we stayed silent for minutes while we both contemplated the tea in our cups – _I will save your company, that’s nothing for us. But instead of giving you an amount, I’ll like to make a deal with you_.  –he looked at me, his brown eyes had something wasn’t there before, I wasn’t sure - _I have to her the terms first, I’m not a fortuneteller. But I admit that whatever it is, will not be pleasant to hear._

_-Learn how to make the drug and provide for us. I guarantee you not only money, but safety. –‘_ What?’ I thought, learn to make it? _–Do you know that the Survey Corps are waiting outside our grounds to get you? Their Commander is indeed making a whole strategy to get you barely alive, but he doesn’t really know where you are. One of them even tried to make a deal with us a while ago; and if we see the card on the table, their proposal and backup is more useful than two little kids. I can get the drug somewhere else. But is different if you learn to make it –_ He was loving it, he loved to see my face and eyes full of doubt, fear and anger. He knew exactly what he was doing since the beginning, how stupid I am. I’m fucked.He smiled at me again, and took another sip of his tea.

_-I have to learn those shitty ways of you Mr. Nahara. Very impressive. –_ I have no choice. He wasn’t going to pay in cash and I can’t refuse anything he says, they kill me or they let the Survey Corps kill me. How? They will just lure them to me, what a nasty bitch. Shit. – _Allright, deal, you asshole._

_-Welcome to the Flavian Clan (Y/n)._

 

 

>>>> 

 

-We will just let her be? .Levi asked folding his arm on his chest

-We just need to wait Levi. We don’t even know exactly where she is. We found the carriage on a weird spot and there’s no trace of her, or her cousin and even no way to prove they have the drug now –Erwin said not taking his eyes off the papers in front of him. He was troubled; he wasn’t expecting (y/n) to vanish like that.

The carriage of (y/n) and Klein was switched and put in a random location. The real carriage was burned and the horse was sold on the spot to anyone on the street. The Flavian clan had a unique way to make things happen and not even nobles from the Capital could do anything. There was no proof that they were involved in (y/n)’s case or the drug because…

-And what do we do with what we found on the woods? Hange is having confirmation of its content right now.

-We just keep it secured and keep the investigation going. We need to go to the root of all this.

-GOT IT! –Exclaimed a woman who entered the tent where The Commander and the Captain were, she had two sealed test tubes on her hands and papers with the results. _–Is the real deal, it is the drug that was “bought” by (y/n) and her cousin. They never took the 3 kilos. Is weird, then why did they made a deal with that guy James?..._

-I see, sounds like they had a plan from the beginning to mislead us. She’s smart. –Erwin liked it. Everything that sounded challenging for his brain was like a turn on. He was going to make a huge effort to play your game and find you no matter what.

Levi was looking at the test results and then to the Commander. He had that weird happy face that meant he was going all in in the game, he liked challenges. While Hange was excited alone explaining to the men her hypothesis about the drug was about, Levi was concerned about the whole situation and remembered your face when he first saw you. That you looked beautiful and for some reason he was urged to protect you. ‘ _Tch, get a hold of yourself, she’s a criminal, a wanted person’_ he though immediately after realizing the nature of his thoughts.

The night was over the East group of Survey Corps. Erwin had a plan to surround the Flavian ground just in case you were kidnapped by them and were to escape later on, he also tried to infiltrate the place sending Mike to deal with sending messages and signals but that failed. The clock was ticking, with no signal of anything. The Flavian woods were famous because they were tricky and foggy, if you put a foot there you had chances of never coming back alive, not because of the killers of the clan, but for the poisonous plants, so the chances to infiltrate the place even with the 3DMG was dangerous. The standby mode was getting tiring and the Commander was hesitating.

 

-It’s almost 11pm; we’re going to stay here ‘till morning or what? –asked Levi after finishing his round

 

- _I don’t know shorty, Erwin haven’t say anything yet. I’m afraid his plan is not going to be successful this time. I’m not even sure what he’s thinking_ –Hange was also concerned passing time collecting samples of poisonous plants so she could investigate later. After she finished, she faced the Captain grabbing his head around her arm – _Why you sound so annoyed? Is because you haven’t had you daily dosis of tea?_ Levi pulled away violently getting more angry and cursing in French under his teeth, as usual. – _Shut up shitty glasses, is not time to be fooling around. –What a boring little person you are_ –she said pouting, getting back at the plants.

At the tent Erwin was evaluating the situation.

 

Maybe she was indeed inside the Flavian clan’s headquarters, maybe were they the ones who left the drug in the middle of the road, but why? To remove any suspicions? Why, if they really needed or wanted the drug? _–(y/n) is a chemical professional; they probably have her to make her do the drug for them, then what about the cousin? –_ He concluded _–she will be probably out of the place at any moment after the deal is done and getting rid of any nuisance, they probably need a couple of hours for that and to check our positions. So, they will get her out hidden then…to avoid any frontal attack. –_ Erwin smiled once again.

The Survey Corps had an emergency meeting to explain the details of the plan they were going to follow. Levi was in charge to deal with the most difficult task while the rest was going to act either as bait or stay hidden waiting for the signal to move.

It was going to be interesting for everybody.

 

<<<< 

 

I finished signing the contract in front of me. Mr. Nahara took it and saw it and gave it to the tattooed man that you met earlier. – _Well miss (y/n) I guess you would like to join your cousin and relax for some time while we get everything prepared. He’s is in the main living room, you can go. –_ He pointed his hand to the door so I could go, and so I did.

I was followed for another guy to the room and after closing the door behind me he stayed outside. Klein was indeed there, drunk and with some kind of half-naked geishas all over him, he was enjoying the red carpet treatment a bit too much.

_-Are you bitches going to stay here? Don’t you have some other guy to fuck?_ –I said. I was annoyed trying to ignore in the huge mess I was in and Klein that was too drunk to talk. They got their clothes and leave the room. I didn’t have any stomach to eat anything, what do I do now? – _Hey cousin! You finally got here…did ya, talk to the baus? Hmmm?  -Yes I did Klein, you should stop drinking by the way, you look like shit. –_ Klein didn’t listen; he grabbed another bottle of wine and started drinking it with a huge smile. – _I knew we were going to be fine, didn’t I told you?? And you were so scared hahahah. –_ it was a bit funny and cute at the same time. The last time I saw Klein kind of happy and drinking was years ago when my dad passed away and he had too much to take care of. – _At least I have you, Klein. At least I can protect you. –_ I told him and saw him smile like a dumb one more time.

_-Everything is ready to leave the headquarters miss-_ the door opened andthe new guy showed up to give the message. I stood up and walk a few steps already into the corridor when the first guy was waiting, then I heard a door slam. When I turned to look, motionless, and didn’t saw Klein I realized.

A clean deep cut was heard slicing something, then the sound of a big mass hitting the floor. 

Mr. Nahara was walking on my direction and stopped in front of that door that was now opened. I walked slowly; my eyes were getting watery, _‘it wasn’t possible right?’ ‘This is all a bad dream’_ I repeated over and over again having trouble to even breathe. I was having trouble walking a few steps and got to the picture.

Nahara laughed hard looking at me. One guy thought it was fun to clean his sword in my clothes and then play a bit of football…

I couldn’t contain the pain and terror when the feeling of vomiting shook me

 

 

_Klein was beheaded._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? unexpected?? yeah I'm sure.  
> I wasn´t planning on doing something bad to Klein, but it just happened. I'm sorry...  
> Please submit any ideas, critis or anything you would like me to add, remember this is just the beginning, so the real relationship amon everyone hasn't started.
> 
> Love you guys! have a great weekend!


	3. Fugitive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not having time to even mourn your brother, is time to think of a plan to escape the Flavian Clan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Guys. New chapter.  
> I'm uploading it a day before because I'm crazy busy  
> hope you like it, please comment!  
> I do not own SNK, but I own the story.  
> See you next week!

_-You’re going to be escorted through this tunnel until we get to the river, there someone else will explain to you what you’re gonna do_

 

I was trembling and mute since I saw my brother lifeless a while ago. Mr. Nahara surrounded me feeling the fabric of my clothes with his fingers, teasing me, but with no reaction because I really didn’t care about a single damn thing.

The first tattoo guy lead, the main house had a basement connected to various tunnels from where you could go almost anywhere far, the trip walking was aprox. 15 minutes until the first checkout where the second guy was in charge. We were out of the woods area and near the river; we had to walk another 14 minutes to be far enough of the view of the Survey Corps so I could get out of the place fast and unnoticed.

Light was seen at the end of the tunnel where we entered a water body, an underground lake formed thanks to the river on the surface that entered the cave where we exited. A group of men were on standby waiting for us with a little boat – _Is she the woman? –Yes she is, Master want her out of the area, to the south. She will be in charge of Madam Sorine once she gets there_ –Wait, I’m not going home? Where do they plan to get me? – _Who’s Madam Sorine? Why can’t I go home?_ –I asked for the first time. The men giggled at my stupid question. – _Don’t you get the situation now? You’re one of us and you work for us, you make a deal with the Master agreeing to earn how to make the drug, and that’s what you’re going to do with Madam Sorine. Your company will be in our hands, we’ll send someone to take care of that._

I have to live my life completely hidden from now on.

- _Get on the boat already! Do you expect the ‘princess’ treatment all the way?_ –The boat was for three people, one to ‘control’ me if I intended something and one to manage the boat; I got on and sat quietly on a bank avoiding their eyes. – _Hey, isn’t she missing something?_ –said one – _Yeah, good thing you mention it –_ Two guys grabbed my arm from behind, immobilizing me, what they were doing? – _Tell me darling, ankle, wrist or neck? You choose –_ asked one – _What? –Well, I’ll choose then, where doesn’t show that much? The ankle I guess…_ -It was the Flavian Clan seal, I needed a mark made from a little incandescent iron plaque they had so any could identify me.

They put a piece of cloth on my mouth so I wouldn´t scream, the burn hurt a lot. I was released and the trip began. 

 

<<<<

 

Levi saw suspicious movement on one side of the woods but it was obvious you weren't there, was a decoy. He gave the report to Erwin and Hange so they could act accordingly - _We have to go farther, they should not even be in this area. The woods are poisonous and I bet is as difficult for them to physically cross it as for us; therefore they should have another way out_ -said the commander, _-Hmmm is true, it is like that, they either can cross it using some kind of carriages, but we know they would make some sort of sound, or...underground_ -Hange completed the idea _\- is the only way. There are no tunnels near the walls for obvious reasons, but here, the ground is perfect for that is even possible to found natural tunnels.-_ Levi thought as he heard, remembering the environment while making rounds, he may have heard a river and seen a hill, the probabilities of a cave inside the woods were high. – _If we’re talking about natural tunnels is possible if there’s a cave, they should also have already have emerged, the fastest way to ran away and without notice is by water and …-Yeah, there’s a river that pass through three villages_ –Hange was serious after speaking, there must be a way to discard the towns, if they wasted any time, they would lost her.

Sending punctual orders to the other security points of the Survey corps, the plan began. Three groups would be waiting in the second village and its whereabouts to make a massive discard, Erwin, Levi and Hange, led by Mike’s nose, would be surrounding the river to intercept you and your cousin by smell. Everything must be done precisely and fast before the Flavian Clan notices their plan.

 

>>>>

 

I had too much going on, and no time of being sad for Klein’s death. What should I do?

The trip on the river was quiet at times; the two guys with me gave comments in a foreign language I suppose were about the road or their personal stuff.  So sad, I wasn’t in a situation of even asking for help from the Survey Corps, if I did, I would end up in jail for quite some time…I should have never accepted this deal, so retarded.

My self-reflection time was interrupted when we get to the river’s bifurcation, maybe I got a way out. How impossible would be to catch me again, if I got lost in the other direction of where we’re headed, some minutes to hide sound perfect.

I didn't care about how deep the river was or how strong the current was, I was going to, at least, try to get out of this. The road was clear and the guys with me bean to have a weird behavior towards me, I knew eventually, this was going to happen, one was trying to flirt with me and the other could not leave the rudder, but was giving instructions, what a piece of shit.

I had to handle them for a minute, and just at the right moment I would fight back and make it seem like was their fault that I fall into the water. Damn water was cold as fuck, not that deep –I could touch it with my feet- and the current really strong, somehow I manage to swim under the surface unto the other side of the river, there I just had to grab something and run away. But how? The river was dragging me further and no stone or piece of trunk was stable enough to resist my weight. And I heard something; two men appeared from the depths of darkness. A tall silver/blond haired man and a short raven haired one, damn, the Survey Corps....no...no...no...NO! I freaked out. Could I use them anyways against the Flavian Clan and escape again? Damn, this is a mess.

- _Mike, we need something for her to grab, let's use the 3DMG, move forward!_

 _-I know_ \- 10 meters ahead Mike used his 3DMG to prepare my "rescue" while Levi also got himself prepared just in case and so it happened at first, the waters were not helping. He wired himself to two trees, one on each side of the canal, so he, in the middle, could get me. When he did that I tried to slow my pace making resistance with my feet and one of them got kind of stuck when Mike finally grabbed me, but he noticed and knew he could not lift me up, if he did, my foot would break. I was crying at the pain –my burn was there-, and hugging the man as if there was no tomorrow.

Levi entered the scene trying to move my leg with no results – _Maybe is better to just stay out. She got stuck because I grabbed and lifted her up_ –Said Mike. _-If I let her go I can't grab her again, we have to do this again ahead and I'm not familiar with this place_ -. Half sodden Levi was thinking in a quick solution, that was the only way – _What a bother, you better no run away brat_ –Said looking at me with annoyance- _Let her go then_.

I was set free, same as my feet, the men made their best effort to return to one side of the canal without getting completely drenched in water. Suddenly the current was even stronger and deeper; I was being sucked to the bottom. The men ran as fast as they could when they saw I was having trouble staying in the surface and then I was no longer seen. _A waterfall appeared._

 

<<<<<< 

 

 _-One way leads to one two villages and the other to just one and that connects to a big lake. Oh, one of those have a waterfall_ –said Hange making a diagram of the area showing it to Erwin and the rest – _Levi and Mike should have intercept something by now, but I'm not sure which way._

 _-We have no definite report from suspicious business in any of the towns, is hard to get that information in such short period of time. We will have to decide one way and take the risk. Two villages is big enough to hide but easier to be known by people and the other too obvious..._ -Erwin got lost in the landscape for a minute – _Hange, you stay here in charge keeping an eye on the two villages, I will go to the other one. Levi and Mike probably are on that area; too much time has passed already._

Smith took off to the right side of the river hoping to find his two men but he didn't. He was on the edge of the waterfall with no sign of life but he saw the marks of the 3DMG on the trees – _Maybe she tried to escape, of this was a bait...an ambush? No...There should be a sign of fighting, but she's down there and I will find her._

 

>>>>> 

 

How long I've been lying here? 5 minutes? 10 minutes? I'm not sure, but birds are starting to sing.

The fall from the waterfall made me crash with some rocks, that was enough for me to pass out, but not to kill me. The river dragged me to a huge lake where I wrecked, to put it in a way. I can't feel my right foot, it's even swollen, but there's no time for that. I sat and tried to look where I was, obviously I don't know, but there should be a place I can stay and ask for help. On the horizon was nothing but big extensions of grass and some trees, it was the same no matter where I look, better get moving.

It was difficult but bearable to walk, I lost my shoes, coat and my white dress was everything but white, I also have a headache, what a beautiful day to start a day. I was trying my best to walk as fast as I could, I mean, I'm a damn wanted fugitive for the mafia and the SCSC, and for getting to this lake, doesn't mean I'm out of reach, they could find me right....

After 30 minutes walking around the lake to get to the direction I wanted, a pair of eyes was looking for me on the other side of it, damn the short one looked pissed as fuck. They had their horses, so getting here was going to be a piece of cake, no thank you. I ran as fast as my legs could so I got chance to enter the woods nearby and hide and I did when a hand grabbed my arm and stopped me right there. I felt my heart skip a beat looking that those blue eyes again.

 

_Erwin_

 

How did he know I was here? I repeated in my head – _If you think about it, this is the most noticeable place you could come. I think you should stop running away miss (y/n)_ \- I can't stay like this, this people can't take me, fuck no. My first reaction was to fight, I got a chance to escape his grip and scratch his right cheek –gods bless my long nails-. He wasn't expecting that, the stayed shocked for a second, I punched him again on the leg and then the I tried my last move to his neck, just enough to have some minutes to get out of there, but I failed, he got me and hit me right in the stomach to get all the air out of my lungs while I'm on my knees, - _Stop fighting back, I really don’t want to hurt you._ He put me on his shoulder and walked to his horse to tie my hands and legs, so I couldn't get away again while sit in the horse.

- _Where’s your cousin? The clan still has him? –_ he asked, placing himself in front of me to talk. I was silent looking at the ground – _He’s still a fugitive, even though you are not completely connected to the drug. We found the merchandise you had in the middle of the woods._

 _-Wha…How? Didn’t Klein give it to them?_ –What the fuck was happening? Then what about the deal? – _So, you were not aware of that fact?_ –He asked again- _Where’s Klein? This can be easier if you tell me_ –I was even more desperate now. Everything, all was planned, they just used my cousin and the drug as an excuse to get me and make me work for them…Fucking old man. –( _Y/n) tell me where is he?_

- _He’s fucking dead! He was beheaded!_ \- Erwin had a feeling that Klein would be killed in the process and now you were in danger if they found you. He stood still and looked at your eyes, reading you like a book, feeling your anger – _That this can be easier? I’m a damn criminal now; I was being hunted by you, as if now I wasn’t going to be prosecuted in the capital…_

- _That’s not entirely true; this whole operation lies under my jurisdiction. Analyzing the situation, the fault resides in the Flavian Clan; they used you and killed your cousin. We can protect you…Either way, we need to get out of here; we’re still in the enemy’s cave-_ The commander was closer than before, making efforts to calm me down and trust his judgment. Not quite sure.  

Levi and Mike made it, finally, to Erwin's side where the three began talking. - _Fuck, you finally got her, what an elusive woman_ –said the raven haired guy while looking at me with disgust, who already was on the horse, Mike, on the other hand, approached me and smelled me, only God knows why and why he made this weird dude, he even smiled – _So you knew she was going to end here, Erwin?_ \- The blond explained that giving the situation where they haven't appeared in a long time after they went for the mission, it was obvious something happened on the way. The way you took was the one with more obstacles but no signs of your capture were found, meaning that Mike and Levi couldn't make it. The only way was all of you ending here, and (y/n) trying to hide in the woods.

 _-You better have answers; I didn't make all this shit for nothing –_ Levi blurted at me.

- _Shut the fuck up midget, you nag like an old man_ –I said without even looking at him, Mike tried to contain his laughter – _She's sure energetic_ -Suddenly, his nose felt something out of the blue- _Something is approaching, probably the Flavian ones._

 _-We should spread, that way is harder for them to catch us. But is quite obvious that she’s with you Erwin. It’s better if she goes with Mike or me –_ Levi inquired that the enemy was focused in the Commander and Hange since the operation began, everyone else was careful of not really showing their faces and clear movements – _Mike?_

_\- I intended to enter the forest and make contact with them; I’m not a good option either._

If eyes and sight could kill, Levi and I would be dead. Cursing in french and under his breath the midget came to get me, untying my feet he forced me out of Erwin’s horse, almost making me fall – _I was going to tell you to be more gentle, but maybe while killing titans you hit your head making you stupid_ –his mood got worse. – _Just fucking get on the horse brat, we’re not here on a picnic._

I did, he got on his horse securing me with both of his arms –damn strong arms for a smurf- we all were prepared to go back.

 _\- Let’s see_ _each other later then, always with your guard up_ –said Erwin before disappearing, same as Mike.

 My “guardian’’ and I began the ride. We bordered the river to find a way up and encountered the river once again – _You hurt your feet on the river right?-_ he asked, so weird.

- _Mind your business_

_-Tch, damn brat. I need to know if you idiot, can walk, we have to finish the route by foot_

_-Oh, well…keep minding your business shorty-_ This man, why? He stopped the horse and step down. He looked at the injured foot but said anything, just waited for me to get off the horse.

- _Is up to you then. I you can’t walk and don’t make it to the point of return I’m not fucking responsible_

 _-That’s how you work outside the walls? How disappointing. How that Commander recruited an ass like you? –_ I almost fall again getting off, this motherfucker can’t even help

_-Stop talking shit and move_

_-I say whatever I want idiot_

Took us 10 minutes to get where Mike and this dude tried to get me, as I could see, the ground in the words, was irregular and full of stones, for the horse was better this way. He was leading the way and I was right behind him tied on the wrists. Maybe I could escape here, I could run in the opposite direction…

- _Don’t you even dare_ –he scared the shit out of me

- _What are you talking about?_

 _-You’re thinking is escaping right?_ –Levi turned to face me – _First of all, we, I went through so much trouble for a shit like you, and second, It takes me seconds to get you, don’t humiliate yourself_

 _-At least I’m not a living humiliation being short man…-_ I whispered

_-Say something else and I will shut your mouth with a rag_

_-Tied and shut, I didn’t know you were into that. Does the Survey Corps know? –_ He was so mad it was funny. He just glared at me wanting to kill me, and my body couldn’t contain the desire of laugh my ass off. Still, we kept moving slowly, hearing something approaching, Levi got alarmed and draws off his blades, ready to fight.

- _Isn’t that Mike?_ –I asked, looking a familiar silhouette far away in the dark, running towards us, he was…Scared? Nervous? I calmed down, and Levi too, but what was it?

- _Run!_ –He screamed – _Get out of there! NOW!_

_-What?_

A sudden explosion took us by surprise. I was all right, but the horse got scared, Levi was on the ground a few meters away with no idea of that happened. I got prepared for attack, Mike helped Levi and drew the blades, surrounding me, but no one was visible. A second attack began with arrows, but not the normal ones, they had a liquid that transformed into high toxic gas, and in second no one was able to see or move. Levi grabbed me trying his best to get me out of there, _-Are you ok?, we need to get the shit out of here_ \- he said carrying me bridal style in a moment, our eyes were burning so much, but I could see his concerned face, we couldn’t breathe properly either…

 Suddenly I heard a hit and we fell...we fell because someone hit his head and again, I was abducted.

 

<<<<< 

 

Water was thrown to me and I woke up.

 

A well dresses woman on her 30s was standing in front of my bed with an entourage of more ladies, and guy who 's always the who wakes me up, damn men.

 _-You're finally awake. Good thing Mr. Nahara was aware of your little games so I could be prepared to receive you_ -she put herself on my eye level and held my face with her white cold hand with long red nails, she was mad, and I was terrified – _You thought you could get away with you plan, didn't you?_

 

 

 _That will not happen again –_ said Madame Sorine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it?  
> haha, is difficult to write this on the spot, I'm trying my best.  
> Sorry for any grammatical mistakes, english is not my mother tongue  
> Critic and commet ideas please! What would you like to read?


	4. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I see whores everywhere....why I ended here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter, I'm sorry.  
> I just finished it after being so busy attending family issues and work, but is just for this week.  
> Hope you Like it, (a little bit at least)  
> and sorry for grammar/spelling mistakes, I didn't re-read the thing, so I have no I idea of how it turned out...
> 
> I do not own SNK, but I own the story

 

Madame  Sorine ran  a  fancy whorehouse near the villages ,  not very known but not suspicious , everything was pretty similar to  Nahara's  place, kind of " asian ". Actually, it was an amazing cover up for the hidden lab she had underground, you would never discover it, the mechanism to open  the hidden doors was new for me, first time seeing something like that. I had questions, but the black haired lady was not pleased with my presence since I arrived the day before; I was watched 24/7 by one of her personal guards, Kimura.

Kimura and  Sorine  gave a quick tour around the place before meeting Helios, the chemistry master of the lab, the only one who made a variation to the original titan drug and  Sorine's  right hand. In my eyes it was a damn brat with psychopath eyes, weird.

Helios age was uncertain, maybe 17 or 18, 5'4", pale skin, straight black long hair,   green eyes and a disturbing smile, same as the laugh, he apparently liked s care people at random moments, and that weirdo was going to be my boss.

- _ Well (y/n), when  Rine _ _told me I was going to have a pupil I thought it would be someone like Maria, I'm glad you're not!! HAHAHA! And you know what? We will be good friends..._ -  Just for general understanding, at the whorehouse there are 'classes' of women, the high class, the middle class and the cheap ones, Maria was the leader of that group. She was not a beauty, she was not smart, she looked way older than her age and well, she also had the worst hygiene in the whole place. Oh, and ' Rine ' was how Helios addressed Madame  Sorine .

- _I guess I have to be glad to meet you...even being weird as fuck.._.- I sat in my chair, in front of a lab table, underground. The chemistry lab had 10 people working nonstop making drug to sell, but only I was being instructed into something else, and that's my only purpose. There was ventilation and  a lot of light, wood everywhere and metal for the tables and structure. The dude smiled at me again not taking his green eyes out of me – _ what the hell are you looking at? _

_ -I like you! You're fun...not like the last one, she was boring... - _ his expression changed, he was sad?

- _ Last one?  Sorine  brought someone else before me?  _

_ -Yes! But doesn't matter a _ _nymore, she's not bothering. I thought her a lesson_ – he showed his white teeth

- _ What happened? _  -I was afraid to hear the answer

_ - I served her in a banquet here in 'Lotus House'. I thought of feeding the dogs with her, but it was too much waste of meat, so, why not a delicious banquet?? You would have liked it, you're my type _  -The freaking fuck with this crazy shit....what did he say? Banquet?.....shit - _ Don't get nervous, I wont do that to you (y/n)! Because you're fun! _

_-....Thanks....Can we....start or something?_ - Anything to stop him from saying anything else.

Kimura stayed near, I saw in his eyes, he was as freaked out as me with Helios. Meanwhile I listened to the guy's instructions carefully, writ ing  every detail in a notebook that was given to me just to use inside of the lab. A lot of the ingredients were new to me, but even Helios was explaining where to find them and how to process them and we were going out to teach me that another day, when  Sorine  gives permission.

I was back and locked in my room with Kimura after the long lesson, he had a bed in the other side of the room. It was noisy, I could hear the screams and laughs of men and women drinking and enjoying their time in the Lotus House, the name of the place, louder and louder every hour. Me laying in bed looking at the ceiling, was trying to figure out a way out. There must be, but I need to gain their trust, so they can let me walk around freely and go out with Helios...I should just get along in the meantime...let's be loyal for now.

>>>>>

_ -But did you  really check if they were there??? _

_ -Yes Team Leader, but no one to be seen. We even took different routes to encompass more areas _

_ -I see, this is weird...check again _

_ -Again??, isn't better if we move to other villages? We haven't seen anyone suspicious in the river, nor this place _

_ -I know  Moblit , but for some reason my  intuition  tells me to stay....just go, go, fast! _

_ -Alright, I'll take  Eren  and  Mikasa _ _again for the search_ – Hange  was more than troubled, a day passed without notice of Erwin, Levi or Mike, all this time, the Survey Corps have been staying in an inn in the first village, low key. She was going to wait just a bit more, then decide to make an official search with more backing.

A couple of minutes passed, the inn's bar was not full, so the crowd wasn't noisy yet

_ -Team Leader!!  _ - Moblit ran  back, screaming with relief in his voice – _ Mike and Levi are back! _

_ - Whaa ? _

Both went as fast as possible to the entrance of the place, spotting two figures, Mike was  carrying  Levi on his back still  unconscious  and hurt.

_ - What happened to him? Did he fight?  _ -asked  Hange .  Eren  and  Mikasa  took care of Levi who needed medical attention and some rest.

- _ No, explosives, first time I smell something like that. After we got (y/n), as a security  meas ure ,  we all decided to separate, Levi took the girl, but somehow the mafia knew our plan. Ahead of us, they planted the explosives. _

- _And they took (y/n)...what about Erwin?_ __

_ -I can't locate him. He's probable aware of the  situation . _

_ -The commander is gonna  act alone this time...could it be that he knew all this was going to happen? _

_ -I have no doubt _

<<<<<<

A new day started in the Lotus  House. Since my sense of time can suck, Kimura was my alarm; I dressed  with the clothes  Sorine  put on the closet, pieces that weren't useful for her girls for not being as sexy as they should, I got them all. For my surprise, they were all nice, I didn't have the concerne of a nipple showing –what a time to think about this. A V-neck  red lace tunic it is, long enough to cover half of my  thigh s , short enough to let the cold damn breeze  almost freeze my vagina.

As usual, I was being escorted to Helios lab, but in the way, the house was hectic, the girls were running around and Madame  Sorine  was screaming to the group of high class expensive women. What the fuck happened? Whorehouse world problems? I saw Maria at that moment , she was not in a good mood.

- _The hell is going on Maria?_ -I dared to ask her

- _Is just_ _ unbelievable! Ugh, what a hard to please shitty client  _ –she answered taking a  cigar ette  out of her bra,  wh y  was that there?

- _The house is upside down because of a client?_ __

_ -Yes, but is not any client, is a super rich guy, but stiff and emotionless as your bodyguard. No one here seems to please him _

_-Sounds like a challenge..._ -  I didn't really care, this was a new 'experience' but none of my business

Three more high class  girls stepped  out of the  famous room with no success, the Madame was  pissed, the only way she could receive the payment was after the client's agreement of the 'menu' presented, the client this time was offering the biggest  am ount  of money ever registered in the place.

_ -He said we're too old  ... _ -a girl said to  Sorine

- _21_ _  is t oo old?, fuck...who else I have? _ -she started thinking with her eyes closed, no one came to mind – I _have a couple in the low class, but he won't like them....what do I do..._ __

_ I got bored of watching and kept going, to the lab _

Helios was waiting for me, he was happy

- _(y/n) guess what?_  - he didn't even wait for my reply, he's always way too excited – _ Rine  gave me  permission  to go out in a week, today's she's all crazy  so she  agreed fast. Oh, but two more, beside Kimura will go with us, so you can't escape and leave me alone. You know I would get mad right? _

Mad is so little for his fucked up mind – _ yes, of course I know... _

_ -That's great! Let's work! _

A door opened violently

_ - You! You.... _ -Madame  Sorine  placed herself in front of me  examin ing  me –   _You're 19 right?_

_ -Yes Madam...why? _

- _You will take care of the client we have now_  

- _What? Wait no!_ - The fuck she think's she's doing. I'm kidnapped here for ONE reason only, and that's not pleasing her clients...no

- _You don't chose what to do with your life here you little snotty girl, Kimura, take her to the main bathroom...we need to prepare her_

- _What the fuck??_ - the bodygu ard  g rabbed  my arms , against my will, with no right to protest, even fighting back – _ You have no damn right to do this, this was not the deal! I'm not one of your whores! _

- _Even if you could buy part of your freedom with his money?_ - this  client  was offering enough for  Sorine  to not concern herself for a long while, and my  commission  was also so huge I could make a deal with her. I stayed silent reflecting her words, I wasn't sure of what to do – We will talk about our deal later, now, get ready  –What if this is also a trap?

- _Let's sign a contract then, you, me and the client as witness_ –s he saw me sharply – _ I won't fall for any dirty deeds of you _

_ Giving  a slight smile, she agreed. _

>>>>

Bath with roses, perfume, oil, makeup...they all prepared me to meet the client, I was using the same clothes , if not, a transparent lingerie was waiting for me.

I took a deep breath before entering the room, I was shaking... 'why must I do this?'   thought over and over again, but fuck it, let's get over this. I opened the wooden door in front of me leaving  behind  the eyes of all the woman and  Sorine  right next to me, prepared to introduce me.

A wide room was set, like a traditional  Japanese  imperial room, and a man in a black suit and a hat was there drinking tea,  peacefully . 

_ -Dear customer, I found exactly what you were looking for, this is (y/n)  _ -She looked at me waiting my self introduction

- _Yeah_ , _hi I heard you had money..._  -I didn't bow, I was just standing there awkward and a bit nervous, looking at the man who never took his eyes off his cup.  My boss wasn't amused, so she started to complain in whispers. - _ Leave  _ _me alone, you don't have to open your damn legs-_   I said a bit too loud

The  man giggled softly – _I like her, you may go_ _ Sorine _

\- _Wait! I'm really sorry, but I need you sir to sign this contract as witness, so I can be owner of part of my own_ _freedom_ –  I showed him the paper from afar, already signed by me and the Madame, he looked at it and took his pen to sign it too – _I want this to go smooth, so, if I have to sign this to get that, is no problem_ – he said.  What a  mysterious  man, I can't even see his face. 

 I took  my contract and kept it – _ Now you may Leave  Sorine , I wish to be alone with (y/n)-  _ the man insisted and she did. After a few seconds that felt like hours, the man finished his cup of tea – _ Come here and sit next to me, don't be afraid _

_ I did _

_ I was shaking too much _

_ And finally, really close and on the same  level , I saw him...again... _

_ -Now ,  i f you think about it ,  this is the most u ncommon  place I  thought  I would find you . I  think we  should start thinking  on a plan, _ _miss (y/n)…_ - How?, he found me... - _ But there's too much eyes right now, we need to act a bit, you will have to excuse me _

_ Erwin grabbed my waist  pushing  me closer to him,  _

_ and kissed me in the most tender way possible... _

_ I don't know, but it felt like a dream _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it?  
> good? bad?  
> I know it was short, but something is something.  
> Next week I will give you a way better block to read  
> Wait for it!


	5. A New Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin´s plan to rescue me starts and I wonder what's next

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This week's chapter, finally updated. Now I'm completely on time  
> This is one is longer, and we get to familiar scenarios and characters  
> \--   
> I do not Own SnK but I own the story  
> Sorry for grammatical mistakes, english is not my mother tongue

Madame Sorine was happy; she received the money she desired so much and gave us all the privacy we wanted. Even though the walls were almost of papers, nothing could be easily heard, Smith were really cautious of this, that’s why he needed the biggest room, to sound waves to disperse; and for that, money and a new identity.

He disguised himself as a veteran noble merchant of the capital and took as much money as he could to make this happen, he also dyed his hair and changed his style in moves, hair and clothes…a complete plan. He let me go once everyone left and started talking as if nothing, how lucky; I was red as a tomato.

_-Sorry again for that, it was the only way to distract them_

_-It’s ok….hmmm are you going to come often?_ –it was more than obvious that we could not talk freely, so I had to choose my words carefully

_-I need to know the days you’re available, I’m a busy man_

_-Of course, since I’m the one you prefer here in the Lotus house, I may have time, but next week I doubt it_

_-You have an appointment_

_-Yes, sorry_ –with my mouth, without making a sound I moved my lips so he could read – _I’ll go out with the chemist boss, guards will be there_

 He nodded

- _I will see if I can come again soon, I have to go back to the capital. But I’ll be back_

_-I’ll be waiting for you then Mr…_

_\- Hunt –_ Smith poured some more tea on his cup _–By the way, I recommend you to mess up your hair and clothes a bit, it makes it more believable._

He left short after we finished talking, no other information was added, I just needed to wait and trust him. Madame Sorine and Helios were waiting for me in her office counting the gold coins Erwin gave to her for me. Both of them were pleased and smiling for the profit, also a bunch of girls wanted to talk to me about the intimate time I had with my client.

 _-(Y/n)´s is so lucky, she came to learn from me but ends up learning from one of the richest clients. Don’t be harsh on her Sorine, tomorrow her body will ache hahahahahaha!_ –Helios was having the time of his life looking at me pretending to be tired from the “action”.

- _Of course I´ll be good to her. But hey, it was safe right? Because if not I have to tell Maria to make the special infusion_

_-The what?_

_-Did he finish inside? You can´t get pregnant now…_

_-NO!, no!...it was…safe, yes…_

_-(Y/n) is shy talking about sex, how cute_ –said Helios, that dude really had a problem, a mental one

I was rewarded with the next day free and a contract owning half of my freedom, so I had new rights, but I couldn’t go out to the city, just outside to the back or front of the House.

The week passed fast, going to my sessions with Helios and doing my own stuff around the place followed by Kimura of course, never being asked to be with another client again, all were waiting for M. Hunt and his gold coins. I learned a lot, I almost knew how to do the drug perfectly but I needed to know the source of the main ingredient. At night I thought about how Erwin would get me out of here, but what´s next, the Flavian Clan would search for me again until they kill me and those Corps would…put me in jail? Even after the Commander himself did all this –including the kiss-I should prepare another escape using this one.

 

>>>>> 

 

The day Helios and I had to go out; he woke me up himself presenting me his snake pet, that thing was going to go with us, Kimura and two more guys watching my steps. We were out by 8am and with a carriage we started out little trip. The road took us far from any habited place; I remained in the middle of Kimura and Helios during all that time.

In the middle of the road a sheepherder was attending 5 injured a sheep, we had to stop and wait, Kimura got down with the guys while the young one and me stayed looking the scene, not too long after the guards decided to help the man and for a second they were out of sight.

So I heard one explosion coming from far away…..a second explosion from where the guards were and then, the carriage

 I blacked out.

 

<<<<< 

 

_-I think we used too much gunpowder_

_-Not at ALL! It was so much fun! Erwin need to use this kind of strategies more often_

_-We exploded even more that we should because you got excited_

_-Moblit, live your life, enjoy the tiny things! We just blew up a couple of things!_

_-Can you shut the fuck up?!  You almost kill her_

_-But she´s fine Levi, she just have a couple of scratches_

_-She hasn´t woke up yet Shitty Glasses_

_-What’s going on…? –_ I woke up to find myself in a strange place with people talking, seems like I have to get used to this. My back was killing me and I couldn’t move properly to get to see who the hell was responsible for this.

 _-Well, now we know the brat’s not dead, I will tell Erwin_ –I knew that voice, Levi?, I can´t stand up, shit, he left the room and some woman came when she saw me struggling in the bed.

_-Don’t try too hard (y/n), your body suffered from the explosion, sorry, that was kinda my fault_

_-Who are you? –_ I asked

 _-I’m Hange Zoe! Team leader in the Survey Corps and this guy over here is Moblit, my assistant –_ She didn´t look dangerous. The guy helped me sit and that way I saw better where I was, an infirmary room. Levi left the room as soon as he saw me wake up, was he ok? The last time I saw him he seemed deeply injured by the gas. And Erwin….the hell happened? – _You must have lots of questions, but don’t worry, we have time to answer those, first you need to rest._

Erwin came to the room, shortly after; he was a normal self with Levi following him

- _Hello (y/n), good to know you’re awake. Sorry for the wounds and pains_

 _-Good to know you’re all sorry -_ I said, I was reaching my boiling point

_-Just be grateful you’re alive, brat. Shitty girl gave us all this trouble…_

_-So sorry then, this midget really has no fucking manners. -_ He “tsk” me and turned around with his stoic stupid face- _But hey, can anybody explain to me how did I get here?_

_-You’re in our headquarters (y/n). Sorry for not letting you know, I had to be cautious. Let me explain briefly; when we got separated I knew some people were following you so I had to hide and let things follow their course, it took me a day to get to my contacts, change my appearance and find you in places hard to get.  That way I got your schedule and send it to Hange and Levi. We waited the week you told me to prepare everything in the shadows, the people here were the one who set the explosives and stole the pertinent information._

_The day you went out, because I already set hidden traps, I took Madame Sorine and her documents, and exploded the place. Levi and Hange waited for you to set the traps on the road, we thought it would be harder, but they feel easy on the trap. So everything went smoothly, sadly you got affected._

_-What about the Flavian Clan? They will still try to find me_

_-No need to worry for that (y/n), we made it seem like you were killed in the explosion of the “Lotus House”. We took your belongings and put it to her. We also made sure, your last name were on the list of the deceased. –_ Hange was happy to say that, now I have no family name, no money and I lost my company to the Flavian Clan….I’m done.

I had nothing to say. I feel tired and upset with everything, no desire is felt in me at the moment, maybe, just mourn my brother’s death. Without his body. Everyone read the expression in my face and the environment turned awkward. The commander then asked to speak with me in private. Everyone left and Levi turned to see me for a second before closing the door.

_-(Y/n) I understand your…_

_-Just tell me what’s going to happen to me, are you going to hand me to the Military Police?_

_-How? I told you, in paper, you’re dead. I can’t hand a corpse_

_-I have no money, no name, what’s my part in the story? In the case the Flavian Clan doesn’t discover the fact that I’m still alive. Work for you as a servant? Take care of me for charity?_

_-I offer you a place here where you can stay and work as a member of the Survey Corps. You’re smart enough to deserve that and more. About your company, I’ll personally find a way to get it back._

_-You don’t get it do you? You can give me all you want, but I will never have my old life back, you can’t give me my brother back…you can’t also take out the fucking tattoo the gave me or the days I’ve been suffering wondering I if I will stay alive or stay a whore…so easy how you tell your rescue plan Erwin, was like a stupid child’s game…shit, I hate this…_

Smith stayed silent watching me talk swallowing my cry with his blue eyes. I closed my eyes for a minute pulling myself together, I said everything I wanted to say; now I wanted to be alone and enjoy my time alone for a long time.

_-If you’re done please go Smith, I want to be alone….what the hell, I have to stay..._

_-You can rest until you get better. I’ll reach you to tell you the details about your stay and I’ll tell Hange to get you a room. Again…I apologize._

 

He left without my answer,

 

I stayed with a part of me finally dead…

 

…and alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Done!,  
> Kudos, comment and share thoughts. I would like to see what you like to read  
> Till next week!


	6. Clash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new start in the Survey Corps, fighting Levi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, so sorry!  
> I've been busy and writing my other two fics that I practically forgot about this one.  
> no more!!  
> Here it is!  
> \----  
> I do not own SnK  
> but I own the story, enjoy!
> 
> Sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes, english is not my mother tongue

I can't say I'm happy with the turn of events, nor happy with the people behind all this. But I'm thankful of my second chance of living. After a week Hange came to transfer me to a room near hers and the other officials, she helped me with my wounds and to know exactly what was happening with the Survey Corps, and her babies, the titans.Actually, talking to Hange heled me a lot, even if there was no 'stop' button for her, it was relaxing and made me think of something else. 

 At the start of the week, I had to report myself at Erwin's office to finally decide what the hell to do with me. I've received my uniform, but I had no idea of how to put the damn harness, so I left it and made my way to the place.  Two weeks passed and now I'm here in front of the office taking deep breaths and hoping to not vent my thought out loud again...I was still kind of resentful towards Smith. I knocked the door 

 _-State your name and motive –_ I heard 

 _-It's_ _(Y/n), you summoned me_  

 _-Please, come in_  

In the room was Levi and Hange who smiled and quickly came towards me to hug me as a "Good Morning" gesture, the shorty kept his stupid asshole face and Smith was sitting in his desk. 

 _-Don't you know that the harness is part of the uniform brat?_ _-_ Levi  began 

 _-No, I thought it was to shut you the_ _hell up_  

 _-Tsk, watch your foul mouth idiot, I'm your superior_  

 _-As if I would give a single_ _fuck about that –_ He muttered something in french and faced Smith, expecting that he would say something to me. He would have to wait all his life then. 

- _I see that you're full of energy again (Y/n). That's good. I called you today to tell you your new role_ _in the Survey Corps_ _. First, a_ _s we know, legally you don't exist, so, we'll give you a new identity with your name but a different last name._   _Second, considering your_ _abilities in chemistry,  you'll be working under Hange Zoe_ _, she will tell you the details_ _;_ _and third, you need_ _a intensive physical training, Levi and I will be in charge of that. Every day, after every training session you will stay and have extra hours, you don't have to complete cleaning duties for now, instead focus of training. Was everything understood for everyone?_  

 _-Don't consider yourself lucky just because you don't have cleaning duties, you better learn fast on training_ _–_ The short man said 

- _Don't be so worry about me man, I'll make sure to kick your ass_  

 _-I want to see you try... -_ we looked a each other throwing daggers and knives. Not minding the other's presence, we kept our little eye fight for a few more second before Hange decided to interrupt us. 

- _Oh my! I was missing this kind of entertainment!_ -she came and surround me with one arm-  _But be careful (Y/n), Shorty is not used to this kind of treatment, he may even fall for you._  

 _-Leave your stupid comment for some other time Shitty Glasses, we're discussing serious things here_  

 _-Allright, allright, but you know I'm right. I'm sure Erwin is on my side, right Erwin?_  

 _-I'm sure Levi will be a good trainer for (Y/n). Well, go back to your duties, breakfast will be served soon, and (Y/n) I would like to have a word with you –_ The commander said standing up making eye contact with the other too who proceeded to leave the room. There was silence and awkwardness for the seconds I kept standing there looking at the floor, the blond looked at me. 

- _Did you find your new room comfortable?_  

 _-Yes, thank you_  

 _-I apologize for not being able to visit you while you were recovering, and for everything you've been through. I hope you can find in the Survey Corps, a place you can be at ease._  

 _-"At ease", you're the ones who go beyond the wall to fight titans right? And have tons of casualties every time_ _watching_ _awful things_ _...yes I hope I can be at eas_ _e_ _, considering this is the only place I can be._ _Don't take it wrong, I respect what your doing._  

 _-I understand what your saying. But you see, we're all in the same boat, however, we've managed to stay together as a one_ _. I don't doubt you can adapt pretty well and be a great help for the Corps._ _Then, let's start anew –_ he waited for me to shake his hand – _Shall we?_  

 _-Of course_  

 _< <<<<<<_ 

Today was my official day as a Survey Corps member, Hange made sure to present me to every one in the Mess Hall, and Mike to smell me and follow me everywhere while smiling, in the meanwhile I started thinking, was I going to be here as what? A cadet? Just a chemist? I should have asked Erwin instead of trying to catch a fight with him. I should ask Hange later or at the end of the day at dinner.  

 _-So, you're the girl the mafia got right? How are they?_ -Asked a light haired guy with a long face just after I sat down in the table with my tray, everyone looked at me.  

- _They're mean and scary, just like the stories. Ready to do anything for their clan_  

 _-Is true that_ _th_ _ey killed your brother in front of you? -a green-_ _eyed guy asked a bit loud_ _suddenly, making the whole Hall to quiet down and turn to see the guy and me. I wasn't expecting that, yes, but is something that's a fact. The horse guy jumped out of the table and pointed to the other with his finger._  

 _-Damn Eren, don't you have any consideration? How can you ask that idiot?_  

 _-Why_ _can't I Jean_ _?, no one told us about that, it came out as a rumor while we're doing the mission_  

 _-That's not enough reason to ask_ _that!_  

 _-Yes it is, until some days people kept saying he was still alive and kept hostage by those pleople. I want to know the truth horseface!_    
 _-This why I can't stand you idiot. You're so stupid!_  

 _-It's ok guys, is true. Stop fighting already-_ That was enough to end everything. I felt and saw how people faces changed, and some whispers were floating around. Jean went back to his place and we all ate in silence until the time for training came. Before the guys in my table could stand the short man appeared with his plain boring face. 

- _Kir_ _st_ _e_ _in,_ _Jae_ _ger one week_ _cleaning the stables_ _!_ _. Let's see if you keep the circus show every morning_ -He looked at me with pointy eyes, probably mad because he couldn't put me to do chores. I wonder why he does that? Is he some kind of clean-freak? Hope not, what a weirdo anyways. 

>>>>>>> 

Now the training, was worst than what I was expecting, my lack of physical resistance was obvious and even when I passed the equilibrium exam with the harness, the rest was ridiculous. I guess I at least hit myself ten times with trees; three times in the ground, the only three times I tried to land decently; and once with a guy called Reiner. Lucky me that he wasn't in a bad mood, he actually helped me a lot. But, Mr. Grumpy wasn’t happy with my hideous performance and the next training was going to be even worst. 

 _-You! The idiot who can do something right, move your ass_ _here!_ –I was exhausted and lying on the ground, everyone was already getting ready to leave to do chores when I listened to my hangman. I did as told and faced him – _With that shitty performance you won't even kick Arlert's ass. No_ _w, because you lack every single shit, you're going to run laps until I tell you to stop. Are we clear?_  

 _-And when is that? -_ I had hope 

- _Until you pass out and_ _realize that your cockiness won't save your life_ _. I don't have pity for you like the rest here or even the mafia that took you, if that's what you're expecting._ _N_ _ow start moving, I'm getting tired of looking at your face –_ Levi cross his arms 

 _-What the fuck is wrong with you? Pity? From you?...what a joke –_ I laughed a bit but was too angry by his words _-_ _Don't even fucking call me then, you think I want to be here? Hearing your shit?_ _I'll run until tomorrow morning you retard –_ And I started running.  

 _-Then do whatever you want idiot. You better run until then_  

 

Or what, will you hit me? 

Damn man. I swear I hate all of this. I better run till morning 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again!  
> Hope you like it  
> It will get better from now on!
> 
> Till next time!  
> (NO, I won't upload a month later)


	7. Hide and Seek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now is practice time with Commander Erwin Smith. What can happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just finished this! Finally  
> Hope you like it!  
>  I do not own SnK, but I own the story.  
> Sorry for any grammatical/spelling mistakes. English is not my mother tongue.

I lost count of the laps once I got conscious about my breathing. Keeping the pace was every time more difficult and the pain in my chest was starting to grow every time a lap is finished. It was night, I could tell everyone already went to the dorms, the light in the mess hall were already off.  

I was not hot, the breeze was nice and the sky was completely clear, I could see the stars and to bare my pain I recalled memories of Klein, we used to watch the starts I nights just like this one...and like that...another one, and another one. 

 

>>>>>> (3rd perosn POV)

 

 _-"Can someone tell me where the fuck is (Y/n)?_ _"_ -Levi asked loudly in his demeanor tone looking at the empty training area -" _That liar brat didn't finished her laps, she should be punished"_  

The angry Corporal knew he didn’t have the power to just give the girl a punishment, so the only way was to report this to Commander Smith himself. Everyone was waking up and walking towards the mess hall while Hange was curiously in front of Smith's room. Levi knocked the door. 

- _"You have to w_ _ait_ _in line Shorty, I'm also here to see Erwin"_ -said the Team Leader 

- _"Isn't he up or what?"_  

 _-"He is, he called me_ _, but he told me to wait here because it would be too loud_ _"_  -she finished when the tall blond man came out of his room, looking at the two figures. 

- _"Good Morning_ _Hange_ _, Levi"_  

 _-"I have to report that (Y/n) is not in the training area where she said she would be_ _runn_ _ing. She did not finished the training yesterday, she needs to have a pun_ _..."_  

 _-"Levi_ _, there's no need. She finished her laps at 4_ _am sharp this morning"_  

 _-"At 4am?"_  

 _-"She said something about 'birds a_ _re_ _a_ _lready singing' and passed out"_  

 _-"And where the hell is she?"_  

 _-"Yes,_ _Hange_ _, please take care of (Y/n), she's inside_ _, sleeping_ _"_ -The Commander pointed at his room - _"As she was exhausted_ _, I guess,_ _she entered the first room she saw"_  -and kept going. 

 _-"Inside?"_  -both team leaders were shocked, Levi opened the door in a flash revealing the girl sound asleep in the bed, with her uniform and boots still on her, she looked like a sleeping beauty even with her messy hair all over her face.  

- _"So...you will wake her up or you will let me take her to her room so she can rest?"_  

 _-"She should follow the schedule like_ _everyone else. She's nothing important to give special treatment"_  -he said and proceeded to shake the girl until she responded with a weird angry mumble _-"Make sure she gets her ass on the mess hall in half an hour"_   

- _"Aw Levi, she will have a bad performance at training again then"_  

_-"Erwin will have to handle that today, I'm going_ _"_

 

 <<<<<<< (back to normal POV) 

 

 _-"I had a weird dream...this_ _morning. After I was done with my laps and the sun was rising, I went to my room to sleep, but for some reason, my bed was not letting me sleep comfortable, it_ _started_ _moving and_ _talking is a weird language, so I punched it once and it got_ _quiet. Then, a_ _fter a while, a monster tried to pull my feet off the bed and I kick it so it would leave alone, I also defeated that one and I finally, when I_ _felt at peace, there was an earthquake_ _and probably a demon talking to me, until you woke me up"_  

 _-"So...you punched and kicked Erwin...that's...interesting! HAHAHAHAHA_ _" -_ Her laugh wastoo loud to hear in the morning, I wanted to use a pillow to either throw at her or cover my ears but I had no energy left. 

 _-"What?"_  

 _-"You_ _entered_ _into The Commander's room this morning and slept in his bed. Probably you woke him up. Erwin called me to take care of you and Levi appeared too_ _"_  

 _-"…......no..._ _" -_ My jaw dropped 

 _-"Oh yes"_  

 _-"Shit!"_  

I saw myself in my room when Hange woke me up, still tired and with outrageous amounts of pain all over my legs I couldn't believe what she was saying.  My stomach started hurting and making noises so I tried to stood up –falling instantly- having the woman still making fun of me instead of helping me. After Hange got back her composure, she took me to the bathroom, handed me new clothes and was my human cane until I got to the mess hall. 

It was until my partner decided to leave me when Moblit called her, when on my second painful step, I tripped with someone and almost fall but he got me just in time. 

 _-"Careful (Y/n)"_  -he said I was already balanced 

 _-"It's ok..._ _whatev_ _...Smith. I mean, Commander_ _"-_  The worst moment of embarrassment, I looked somewhere else quickly avoiding his gaze and neutral face. I never actually thought about my background with Smith, that includes a strategical kiss, and why don't I think about it, now. That makes everything less awkward for me, and all I could deliver was a weak fake smile - _"...Sorry"_  

 _-"You, brat. Did you_ _enjoyed_ _your nap?_ _"_  

 _-"Actually I did, specially because I didn't fail in my task_ _like you wanted_ _" -_ Hange came back putting her arm around my neck smiling suspiciously 

 _-"Don't be jealous shorty, just make sure to_ _leave your door open next time"_  

 _-"Shut up Four eyes, don't be late for training insect, let's see how bad you're today"_  -Levi went to grab his tray and sit on the table with the rest of team leaders. 

 _-"Hey Erwin, tell the_ _whole_ _story, did she woke you up? Y_ _ou know, (Y/n) had a weird dream about punching and kicking you, and..."_  

 _-"What are you saying_ _Hange_ _,_ _hahahAHAHA_ _, that's not true....sorry! Fuck...."_  -I tried to close her mouth with my hand but it was too damn late. 

 _-"She did not,_ _she just have good reflexes even when being half sleep. You both should eat, and (Y/n) you have training with me today"_  

 _-"Ok"_  -the blond left and the woman smirked at me - _"Stop it"_  

 _-"So, you enjoyed the nap...I see. Remember tomorrow morning you must help me in the lab. Let's go eat!_ _"_  

 _-"Please"_  

The guys asked me if I finished the task and how Levi reacted, they were happy that someone is gutsy enough to talk  back at the scary Corporal, with Mikasa. The training, led this time by Mike was a bit better for me, everything that involves using your environment and senses to survive/fight, I can do it decently. Even though, more than once, Mike sniffed me and smiled whispering " _This is new"_ every two hours...right... 

 

>>>>>>> 

 

Everyone went inside the hall even Levi who gave me a death stare from afar, Commander Smith came right in time to the practice area with two daggers and two ribbons.  

 _-"Are you good at hide and seek or running?"_ -he asked 

 _-"...Hide and...seek?"_  

 _-"Yes or No"_  

 _-"I'm not sure"_  

 _-"Let's find out then._ _Take_ _this_ _, I will count to 30 and you will hide. If I find you,_ _you_ _run away before I_ _catch_ _you. Here"_  -He gave me a dagger and a red ribbon-  _"A_ _nd i_ _f I catch you, we fight_ _and_ _stop me from taking that_ _from you_ _._ _If I don't find you and/or I don't take the ribbon, you win._ _We have until dinner time._ _Un_ _derstood_ _"_  

 _-"Yeah"_  

 _-"I'm_ _not_ _playing here (Y/n), you better hide very well. You don't seem good at fighting yet_ _"_ -he was dead serious I almost went pale. But this doesn't make sense, of course he will be way better than me if this kind of stuff, is my first time...I'm just a chemist.  

 _-"I'll start. 1...2...3...4...5..."_  -he closed his eyes and faced a tree tat was near, I, on the other hand went blank and nervous looking for a place. Hey, he never said if I have to stay inside the Survey Corps grounds...then, this can be better for me.  

- _"30" -_ Erwin looked behind him and saw the pair of boots I left there. I won't make it easy for him to track me. He showed a smirk and started walking.  

 _-"Smart girl"_  

I know the hardest places to hide are the most easy and obvious ones. I took out my boots to trick Erwin's ears and walked all over the woods just to come back to the hall. Then I thought if I go near Hange she won't collaborate, if is Levi, he won't help me...but if he does...he won't. Smith will know. but first I need to find other spots. I need to change places every half hour. 

I lost sight of Erwin the last time I saw him going near the woods, two hours ago. I have to stay this way for two more hours and try to get near Levi's office, cleaning my feet every single time. On my time for moving I got into a supply room that for some reason had a bit of everything. There I found something that would make this way more interesting. 

 _-"You brats!_ _what the hell are you doing running all over the place looking like that? Where do you think you are?"_  -Levi was heard yelling at two teams who were playing around. 

- _"We_ _can't tell you_ _Corporal!"_  

 _-"The fuck? Wait there!"_  -but they were gone 

- _"They're team (Y/n). They're helping her"_  -Hange said to Levi when she was on her way to Mike's office 

- _"What?_ _Isn't she training with Erwin?"_  

 _-"Yes, she's_ _playing hide and seek. Erwin must find her and take her red ribbon"_  

 _-"A red...but all of those pricks had a red...tsk, I see now_ " -he understood the commotion in the hall, my tactic was just that, I made at least 50 ribbons in a moment and gave it to everyone who was physically similar to me, male or female. With that, I took some left over jackets and shirts, and threw them all over the place and told the people to be free to take their jackets off or to leave them, to change their hairstyles, to use painting in the face, etc. That gave me more freedom and I could blend in with the crowd. The most obvious place. The crowd, or maybe I want him to think that – _"By the way Shitty Glasses, have you seen Erwin?"_  

- _"Not at all. I wonder...where he could be?" -_ The woman smiled 

 

<<<<<<<

 

Just half and hour is left. Because I have been everywhere outside and inside, but the leader's offices, I need two more spots to hide. Walking through on of the hallways I found one door open revealing Mike, his office. Probably he smelled me, as always because he saw me like if he was waiting for me, he then, waved his hand telling me to come in. 

I did and closed the door behind me. I took a deep breath of relief. 

 _-"Thanks Mike, did you know I was coming here?"_  

 _-"Hmm that's why I opened the door. You're hiding from Erwin right?"_  

 _-"Yes...can I hide here for 15 minutes? I'll go after that"_  

 _-"As you wish, I'll go out soon too for dinner"_  

 _-"Thanks"_  

 ** _Knock_** ** _Knock_**  

 _"Mike are you there?" -_ It was Erwin. I froze and like crazy I started to make weird sign language to Mike and walked as fast and quiet as I could to hide under his desk, where he was still sat and the scene looked really compromising but I didn't gave a fuck. He made himself comfortable to and answered him. 

 _-"_ _Hange_ _was looking for you because she forgot to give you some papers, she sent me to ask you if you will go to her office"_  

 _-"I'll go see her in a minute, is almost dinner time. Oh right I got a letter from Wall_ _Sina_ _" -_ Mike stood up and walked somewhere around the office and opened a drawer. Following the sounds I knew Erwin opened the letter and then said: 

 _-"Let me do this. I have to write the answer to this"_  

 _-"_ _Al_ _l right_ _, see you at the mess hall"_  

The door was closed and the man came back to his seat in the desk, completely relieved I started to make my way out of my hiding spot -putting my hand in his leg...I looked like a real perv-. 

 _-"Gosh Mike than..."_  -He was NOT Mike! Those blue ice cold eyes just stared at me and before I knew it I pushed his chair with a huge kick. That was enough to make him hit his back and buy time to get out of that corner. I took my dagger and run to open the door, when I was going to touch the handle another dagger that almost hit me, stopped me.  I turned around and there he was, standing really prepared to fight. 

- _"Seven minutes left"_  -he said, before running towards me and sending me his first punch that I only could avoid. Kicks, more punches, destroying the poor office, he took his dagger again and aimed at me - _"Don't tell me this is all you can do. What if I really wanted to kill you? Stand up and fight!_ _"_  

I did as he told me, but he was too fast that made scared to make a mistake and end up beaten up completely. He was not having mercy in his punches.  _"Fight!_ " He yelled again. And I 'did', I gave my all to fight with the dagger, that he took away from me and punched me in the stomach. I threw some other moves that failed, he just hit me more than I wanted. And then, I tried to kick him down there and he also stopped me hitting me in the leg, and finally immobilizing me. What a disaster I am.  

He took the ribbon from me and released me.  

 _-"Just in time, I win_ _"_  -the Commander said, smiling. The fucking man now was smiling at me - _"_ _No_ _w_ _I know what are your fortes and weaknesses. We'll start the training the day after tomorrow"_   

- _"You're really fucked up..., how did you know I was here anyways?" -_ I was dealing with the punch he gave me 

 _-"I knew you would end here, even_ _w_ _ith_ _all those things you did. Changing places every 25 minutes? Right?" -_ Was he following me? How does he know? - _"I don't need to follow you, is easy to read. I was in my office the whole time_ _"_  

Seriously....seriously?? 

 _"Let's go eat dinner, I apologize for the punches"_  -He opened the door - _"By the way, your punches_ _and kicks when you're sleeping are quite good, but your ability to seize my arm was better"_   

- _"What?!"_  

 _-"Let's go eat (Y/n), I have to apologize to Mike for destroying his office" -_ And there he went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? How was it?
> 
> Thanks again for the support, for reading and giving kudos, love you guys.  
> Please wait for the next chapter, I will not stop writing.


	8. Hard Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y/n) receive news of the future plans of the Survey Corps, where she's included.  
> She needs to make a huge effort from now on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! back again!  
> Sorry, I'm near graduating university, so I've been busy with classes and work. But I'm on a break.  
> Thanks for waititng and supporting.  
> Don't worry, I'll be writing until the end  
> \----  
> I do not own SnK not the characters. Just the original ones  
> Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes. English is not my mother tongue.

_-“HAHAHAHAHHAHA so you got your ass beat by Erwin yesterday?”-_ She asked while almost being on the floor with breathing problems because of the story Mike told her about by training yesterday _–“And…and…you were so confident right?? Hiding all over the place HAHAHAHAAH”_

_-“Now I get why Shorty hates you”_

_-“Sorry, is just hilarious…you know I love to laugh”_

_-“I do…but this is insulting, but I guess you don’t care”_

_-“Next time just hide in his office, hahahah”-_ She has all morning in this. Hange called me early to catch up with the scientific reports and advances she has done for the Survey Corps since the beginning.

I was excused of today’s training with the others so I could make the whole detailed report of the drug I was making for Madame Sorine and to learn about the nature or titans, specially, for my knowledge, Eren was one of them.

I had to stay in the lab until 4pm making three samples for Hange, she kept working with his baby titans outside and I stayed alone doing my stuff. Mike came in.

 _-“So you’re in Hange’s team”-_ He got closer, but at a certain distance so he could take a breath and smell the air or something, thing that made him smile a bit _–“Are you mad at me?”_

_-“Yes and yes. You knew Erwin was going to go to your room, and you just left!”_

_-“You feel betrayed then?”_

_-“I thought you were on my side, that’s all…”_

He suppressed a laugh and crossed his arms on his chest, gaining composure again so he could tell me what he was doing there. Mike was someone near a weirdo, a genius and a ghost; in a good way. He could perceive people by smell, his strategies and thoughts were on point, always following ethics and strict morals, and for some reason, he always moves without being noticeable enough to catch the attention. I have to admire him for that, but yes, I felt betrayed, not in a million years I would have thought that he would leave me on my own knowing Erwin’s game.

_-“Levi says you should be earlier for today’s training or stay up late”_

_-“Tell why isn’t you or Hange my teachers again?”_

_-“Because I said ‘no’ and Hange is more excited with her specimens”_

_-“…Such comrades I have now…”-_ I look at my samples again and decided to keep working on that _-“Tell grandpa I’ll be early”_

_-“Sure”_

 

_> >>>>>>>_

 

_-“You’re three minute’s late brat”_

_-“Yes whatever, let’s just start”_

_-“Tsk. Today we’ll end late because you are way behind everyone and we don’t need an useless bother like you to spoil the next expedition outside the walls”_

_-“Expedition? Why does that sounds like I’m included in that”_

_-“Because you are, idiot.  Erwin already gave the order and the teams. You’re in his, so you better learn how to defend yourself. Your position in the formation doesn’t allow you to make stupid mistakes risking people’s life just to save you”_

_-“Oh…well, I don’t promise anything…” –_ That got me nervous. I knew I sucked at the 3DMG enough to be an absolute nuisance on the expedition, and to hear that I was going to make my ‘debut’ soon wasn’t good news.

_-“Just shut up, let’s start training. You need to finish you basic 3DMG training in order to allow me to teach you how to fight properly”_

_-“Alright”_

The last time I felt near death was when The Flavian Clan got me, now this training was killing me. Levi got me to climb the damn mountain with time limit three times, having equilibrium but moving with fast and strong moves in a static place with the maneuver gear, check out the titan’s location (thing that only scare the hell out of me), trying to catch up with his pace….but it was impossible, I was worse than a noob, even when I had lots of stamina and resistance, for some reason the training was being too violent. 

We ended at 12am at night, he left me after seeing I was not able to hold my blades properly because of the exhaustion and hunger.

_-“Let’s stop here, I’ll report this to Erwin. At this pace you won’t make it, he should just leave you here”_

_-“Wh…when is the expedition?”_ –I managed to ask and to compose myself standing up.

_-“In five days. With just your unpolished basic training and stupid basic fighting skills you’ll be killed by a titan in no time, just for that I think you should go”_

_-“Really? Aren’t you being too harsh with your words and the training?”_

_-“You think is harsh? That’s why you’re just what you are and nothing more. With that attitude brat, you should indeed get eaten. There are people in this situation who knows they can die tomorrow but they don’t want to; so they become he best overnight. And they don’t nag like you… and don’t answers back”_

_-“I never said I would quit you deaf, but maybe instead of making me train five fucking things all at once, you should teach one at a time. I will never learn anything properly you stupid”_

_-“You think? We have no time for bullshit like that, just learn, train and shut the fuck up”_

_-“You can shut the fuck up; I don’t need a shitty teacher like you. I’ll do this alone, step by step, and one day, I’ll be even better than you”_

_-“Then go fuck yourself alone and don’t bother me. Let’s see how you do on the expedition, if you come back alive, I will acknowledge your work”_

_-“You will, and you will apologize too”_

_-“Pff whatever, I’m out of here”_

I would not be eating by anything, I would not be humiliated by some stupid Captain of the Survey Corps and I would not lose. I have to do everything I can, with the help I can get to be at everyone’s level before the expedition. Just wait everyone….just wait.

 

<<<<<<<<

 

_-“Your damn protégée quit the training with me saying she can do better. She sucks a everything and that’s not even close to enough to let her come with us to the expedition Erwin”_

The blond laugh to himself hearing the report of the captain _–“Is still a good opportunity for everyone, let’s see what she does”_

_-“You’re spoiling her too much letting her do whatever she wants, and excusing her from punishments…you’re being too much”_

_-“That’s just for now, once she’s like all of us and a true Survey Corp, she can be up your discipline standards Levi. So, you’re out of her training?”_

_-“Yes, I won’t fucking help her anymore”_

_-“Is there something till now, she’s good at?”_

_-“Not shutting her mouth…and resistance”_

_-“I’ll have that in mind when I see her. Let’s see what happens” –_ the Commander pose his eyes on the paper he was reading a again, the report (Y/n) did for Hange and her papers from when she was being wanted by him. He smiled.

 

>>>>>>>>

 

I got everyone gathered by breakfast, the ones I really needed to help me with my training. Eren, Mikasa, Reiner and Armin. If I got their help, one every day, I could perfectly advance quickly and on the afternoons I would have two training with Erwin and two alone. Spots that I have to see if someone like Mike can help…I better talk to him soon.

_-“So will you help me? Doesn’t have to be everything, or even all day. Just what you’re good at”- I said_

_-“I really have no problem. I admire your courage to train by yourself and ask for help” –Armin said_

_-“Same here, I’ll help you, no problem (Y/n)”_ –Mikasa followed. The other two agreed also and decided on who would help me the following days. Reiner agreed to help me today on working on my basic skills, defensive fight and 3DMG techniques.

I told Hange it would be hard for me to work with her on the lab, instead, I would compromise to be loyal to her in her future experiments, and even n catching a titan on our expedition. And that maybe she could help me on my training. I just left a note on her desk. Same did with Mike, but I needed to talk to him because I know he would just ignore a mere paper and say “No” again.

Because our usual trainer for the everyday is Levi, I didn’t even asked if I could go on with whatever I was doing and excuse myself from his class, he ignored me and let me go somewhere else with Reiner to train.

While he was trying to flirt with me, he did say interesting tips. Reiner was a good teacher for the basics, positions, movements, sequences, breathing and distribution of weight and energy; I also learned how to balance myself perfectly with the 3DMG and defend myself from direct attacks. I got my ass beat more than twice, and I knew I would be covered in bruises tonight. He was patient, so I felt great giving my best and learning from the scratch.

Lunch came; second part of training too, and then it was over for Reiner and the others. I took a 15 minute break, sleeping under a tree waiting for Erwin to come.

When I was conscious again but with my eyes still closed I could hear papers. Papers being folded and someone writing so I remembered that was sleeping and stood up in flash, absolutely surprised. He was sitting right next to me writing reports and signing documents, under the tree.

 _-“You had a good sleep? You seemed tired”_ –he said looking at me

 _-“I’m ok; I apologize for not being ready for out training. I’m ready now!_ ”- I looked at the sky, figuring out how many hours, maybe, I slept and made him wait.

 _-“It’s ok, you just slept and hour”_ \- my jaw dropped, that was too much. How could I? He put his documents aside and stood up too to face me, now being serious _–“I’m sure you’re being informed about out expedition outside the walls in four days now”_

_-“Yes Sir”_

_-“And I also heard that you quit your training with Captain Levi for the matter, humanity’s best soldier; to train by yourself, and with other new soldiers of the Survey Corps”_

_-“Yes…, look I understand he’s the best, but I wasn’t learning or progressing in anything. The only way I can learn fast the complicated stuff, is to have perfect basics. So sorry, but Levi doesn’t even know how to do that…and doesn’t have anything to do with his rotten personality, being the best doesn’t make you the best damn teacher in every situation”_

_-“I see”_ –his expression softened somehow but was still stoic, but that made me wonder if he was disappointed in me, or mad…I felt I was only talking nonsense or being too harsh. Why do I speak my mind like that now? _–“He can be of great help to you later on, when you learn the basics. I’m sure Levi’s better teaching at that level”_

 _-“Oh, well, I guess that’s true…”-_ He had a point, yes I was talking nonsense

_-“Let’s begin our training now; your teacher today was Mr. Braun right?”_

I nodded

_-“Good, then show me what you learned, using the maneuver gear. I’ll going to pursue you and attack you until you can’t get up. You need to stop and read my moves, if you get to hit me, we’re over”_

_-“All your training will be like that?”_

_-“There’s no better way. Especially now that you’re short of time”_

_-“All right Commander, let’s play again”_

Each one with a maneuver gear started the frontal combat, and silly me, always thinking that Erwin would go easy on me; the first attack he threw at me almost made me fall. He was incredibly strong.

The first part of the fight took place on the main training arena, I guess I lasted 15 minutes before my arms were hurting trying to stop the man’s knives with mine, and I wasn’t used to that kind of setting. Hitting him was a bigger challenge; he wasn’t making any space for me to make a move of my own, so he was tiring me out. I ran away to the near forest in order to gain some time and rest, at least one minute. Fail, no matter where I went, he found me in matter of seconds.

_-“Are you already tired? I thought you were determined to become the best, even better than Levi. I just see a weakling girl, trembling in fear”_

_-“Don’t come with stupid conclusions so early Smith. I will achieve my goal; I don’t plan to live all my life like this”_

_-“Then prove it to me and to you. I don’t believe you”-_ He said before I ran away again angry. I was sweating too; hot, tired…breathing was painful. We had already more than an hour like this, fighting, but my movements were becoming slower and weak, my chances of winning this round were very difficult every minute. On the other hand, he looked perfect, as if he hasn’t made any effort during all this time. My moves on the MG were more precise, but I made mistakes and my balance weren’t perfect, that huge weakness of mine cost me a bunch of kicks in the stomach and arms; same goes with my landing, every time I have trouble and preparing for Smith’s appearance is a disaster. _-“You only have excuses (Y/n). If you keep being this way, you will indeed die like a fool on the expedition, and I don’t expect to sacrifice my men for you”_

_-“I know you wouldn’t. I already died once. Didn’t you kill me Erwin Smith?”_

_-“I did. And I can do it again”_

He attacked me again, he surprised me from behind completely different, with no mercy, with no control. I saw on his eyes he was angry. He threw his blades at me so fast I could barely catch up with his moves. I ended up with 5 cuts in a matter of 10 minutes, each one deeper than the other, making my alarm go on and a sense of danger and survival and terror took over me. _‘What the hell is going on with him?’_ I asked to myself.

He hid somewhere. I heard nothing, I saw nothing.

After exactly two minutes that I decided to go on, in the middle of my flight I received a hit, he started the blade fight again so strong that one of my hand hands had to let go of a blade, and the other was shaking. In a corner, over a tree, Erwin got me. In those last seconds he made me throw off my second blade and when I made an effort to hit him he stopped me and took me from my neck and put his blade closer to my crying face.

I was probably sobbing so much, with my eyes shut waiting for that last hit; I heard his voice _-“Reality and real fights out there are worse than this, worse than Levi’s training or mine. You have no idea of what you’re going to face, therefore, you need to be prepared for all circumstances even having someone like me, trying to kill you. I don’t want you to ‘die again’ (Y/n). Don’t you ever say that”_ \- I opened my eyes and saw him, he let go of me and sighed _–“You need to be stronger enough to save yourself…You did well, you have indeed great resistance. Sorry for scaring you, but was needed”_

I had nothing to say. I know I stopped breathing for a minute before I realized I wasn’t dreaming.

 _-“Let’s go back, you need to rest”-_ He said

 _-“I’ll go back later…I’ll stay training a little more”-_ I clenched my fists and held the tears. I’m still so damn weak and what he said was true, in reality no one would sacrifice a single man for someone like me _–“Thanks for the lesson, Commander Smith”_

-“ _You will just overwork yourself, you’ve done enough for now_ ”

-“ _I’ll stay here training more, don’t be concerned about me. If I want to stay alive without depending on you, I need to work harder than ever_ ”

 

He just looked at me, right there were he was, less than a meter from me. He looked down and nodded _–“Very well. Have a successful training (Y/n). See you in the morning”_

 

_-“Salute!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy I'm updating.  
> Sorry again for the wait, hope you like it
> 
> Share, give kudos, comment, love, support and you've been doing.  
> Love you all


	9. Blindfolded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Training with Mike...that's a whole new level

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DONE!! I'm updating! Sorry guys I'm gradutaing and full of stuff to do.  
> But I will never stop writing. Sorry again.
> 
> Here it is, Sorry for grammatical mistakes, spelling mistakes too...english is not my mother tongue  
> \---  
> I do not own SnK, but I own the story

I slept just two hours to be ready and catch Mike on his morning walk. After being hit by words twice yesterday I decided to work my ass off and make this work my way, but I was still mad at the fact that I wasn’t supposed to be here at all, I’m a chemist, not a fighter, everyone on the Survey Corps made a vow, a promise, even made a training and thought for several months the idea of being part of this. I’m here because I need a place to live. And even with that, I’m accepting their ways, learning their ways and being a Survey Corp.

_ -“Please, please, please, pleaaaaase??” _

_ -“I don’t understand why you want me to teach you” _

_ -“You’re Erwin’s right hand and the best besides grandpa, I have four days!” _

_ -“Hmmmm….no” _

_ -“Oh come on! Why not?” _

_ -“I actually don’t have time; and for your case (Y/n), Levi is the best teacher you can get, but you quit” _

_ -“I will end up being titan’s food if I kept the training with him. I can make time whenever you’re free, or just tell me what I need to do, is not like you have to check up on me every five minutes _ ”

He just kept walking around the place until we got to the roof where he liked to see the sun rising up and smelling the first scent of the fresh air.

_ -“Basics you say?” _

_ -“Yes” _

_ -“All right, will be up to you if you finish the training or not, I will not be checking you until after midnight. All right?” _

_ -“Yes, sir!” _

_ -“Is good because I know you have frontal combat training today _ ” – I made my happy-dance inside my head when he finally agreed; instead I gave a big smile. I walked with him to his office, and stood up in the middle of it while he was looking for something.  _ –“Take, cover your eyes with this _ ” – he said, handing me a long piece of fabric.

“ _ Huh? _ ” was the only response I gave him with a stupid face. He was waiting for me to do what he commanded, when I realized that he was being serious and covered.

- _ “You will spend the whole day of today and tomorrow with your eyes covered” _

_ -“What? How? I have a bunch of things to do” _

_ -“I told you was up to you to do it or not. You want to learn fast right? Then let’s start by learning the basics by using all your senses and stop relying on you sight” _

_ -“I know what you said, but…” _

_ -”Even when eating, training, going to the bathroom. All the time. We will train on the roof at 1am _ ”

 

He sat on his chair and took a paper from the stack of things he had on a side, I was dismissed and on my own to follow his instructions. After going back to my room to wash my face again and getting ready, I was determined to finish this training successfully. That way, my first day of being blind began.

 

>>>>>>>

 

-” _ Oh sorry! I’m so sorry! _ ” -This was the seventh time I apologized in a five minute period since I left my room. For the matter, I realized that I have no idea or sense of space or length after almost tripping on the stairs and almost killing two people on that attempt. I’ve been on the Survey Corps some weeks now, but without my eyes I don’t even know where my room is, if I have to go back. 

After walking down the stairs to hell, I recognized Armin’s voice when he talked to me and asked why I was blindfolded. I may have looked pitiful because he guided me to the cafeteria, but told me tips about counting steps, differencing outdoor and indoor sounds -even sounds of dorms, offices, bathroom, they all sound and smell different-, and walking alongside the walls. 

I got my tray with food and my blond friend was helping me find a seat where the others were. -“ _ Hey Armin, Team Leader Hange is asking for the biology book you were using the other day and the rest of Levi’s squad  _ ” -someone said. He replied saying that he had to find the book in his room and call the others, so he had to leave me alone for the moment, followed by at least five ‘sorry’s’. 

I was near the table and lucky me, and by touching the chairs I found an empty seat. When I was going to finally sit down, someone walked behind me harshly making me lose balance and trip with the chair. The luck ended when, the only hand that was grabbing the tray, decided to save me from a really bad injury and sacrificing the food. I could hear the mess on the floor and everyone around me in complete silence for a couple of seconds, not even the  _ “Oh sorry, my mistake _ ” from whoever pushed me.

 

I kneeled down carefully and tried to clean as much as I could, someone helped me a bit, and then I sat down and took a deep sigh.  _ “I guess, I won’t have breakfast today _ ”.

After what it felt like 15 minutes, I started hearing changes on the voices around me, it was almost time to finish and go training, but I had to put the tray on the dirty plates side. Maybe was better if I waited until almost everyone left so I could have the way free.

 

*clank* I heard a noise in front of me, like a plate with a spoon that someone gave me. No words, no humming. It was a plate of mixed rice, but who gave me this?

 

<<<<<<<<<<

 

Armin finally came with the others to the rescue and helped me count the steps from the main door of the mess hall to the training area. Taking in consideration obstacles and the main spots where people run or fight. Already in the middle of the arena, in formation I heard Levi’s voice explaining today’s activity when he suddenly stopped. 

-” _ Cadet (Y/n), did you came here to fucking play hide and seek or what?” _ -Everyone looked at me, I suppose - and laughed.

- _ ”I’m in the middle of a training!….Sir” _

_ -”Training my ass” - _ he said in a lower voice, still audible to everyone -” _ You better not spoil the training you idiot” _

_ ‘Yu beter dunt spol de trainin yu ydiut’ - _ I mocked his words on my head, damn man - _ ”I won’t Sir” _

 

I asked Mikasa help on today’s training. In fighting she was surely the best, same as Eren, but he was put with Armin. I told her to not hold back, even if I started to gasp in pain, I needed to get better fast.

 

And so the training began. Four hours long of hits and kicks all over my body, I was more than knocked out, but my pride won’t let me give up. Mikasa was tough and quick, reading her movements were so difficult, I started to get her ways and way of thinking after two hours. I began listening to how the friction changed depending on how she was positioned the foot and legs, also the air around her hand movements. For the moment I could avoid getting hit, but I couldn’t move forwards comfortably and throw a punch, Mikasa always got me.  

 

It was time for lunch, Mikasa offered herself to help me go to the Mess Hall, but I refused. If I kept receiving help from others, I won’t be doing this the way I should. It was better if they just saw me from afar and just help me if I’m about to kill myself doing the wrong things. -” _ Tsk, I almost thought you would get the easy road, having everyone’s help all day long”-  _ Captain grandpa said from behind me.

- _ ”Don’t you have anything better to do? Go clean something, damn” _

_ -”What did you say? _ ”

-” _ You heard me _ ” -I always talk more than what I should, giving me unwanted problems. If someone had common sense, is not me; I’m blind folded and is more than obvious that I won’t be able to 1) Avoid Levi’s flying kicks, 2)Free myself once being folded like an origami paper and 3) Getting up after Mr. Midget decides to step on you.

- _ ”You’re just making me laugh brat. Being cocky will only make you titan meat in no time _ ”

 

If I’m going to die like the last snack of one of those monsters, at least let it be in a honourable way. I trust Mike’s way of teaching.

 

I dropped my food again on lunch. I switched the places of the mess hall, which already was annoying, but when I finally got my tray with my servings, and stayed out of the crowd, and was really careful Hange came to me -laughing at me of course-, inviting me to eat with her, happens that I was trying to follow her lead listening to her voice, but as always, she come and goes however she likes and didn’t catch the movement of the nearest table. Erwin Smith was leaving his seat when I collided with him…

-” _ Seems like you have a long way to go with Mike’s training _ ” -he started, turning to talk to someone - _ ”I wonder what kind of result this will give _ ”

 

Mike was there, all team leaders were here. A subtle tension grew up second after second, I apologized once and kneeled once again to clean my mess, Hange kept talking, and everyone else kept quiet. Smith wasn’t talking about Mike’s training, he was talking about my promise to be at everyone’s level within 5 days. 4 days actually.

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

Mikasa and Eren helped me again with the afternoon training, this time we had spears. They both fought with me another four hours, I was good at focusing on just one individual, but two was too much noise and was hard to keep track of the movements and new sounds. I got my ass beat again, the bruises were huge, I could feel them growing up. Even though, my reflects to avoid hits were getting better, and I started to get confidence with my weapon, enough to make them step back a bit.

 

When the night came, and training was over for everyone, I stayed wanting to use my 3DMG on the forest where the fake wood titans were. If I skipped the break hour and the night gathering with the leaders, I would have four more hours to be here. Eating dinner a little late, and resting until 1am.

My landing was a mess, I fell from almost all branches, I got hit by the titan’s figure and trees, I was getting desperate and annoyed.

I took a break to go grab some bread and water to eat after the Mess Hall was empty. Sitting in a chair, I started hearing the ‘silence’ around me, and smelling the things. The wing from outside, the steps of the people upstairs, the rat on the corner looking for food, the warm bread, the dusty place...it was different.

I wasn’t listening clearly the whole time and as Armin told me, every place is different, they even smell different. That’s what Mike does.

 

I stepped outside again to train on the woods, but I tried to make it as slow as I could, walking around first, touching everything, smelling things -probably looked like the ultimate weirdo. if Levi just saw me...-I could mentalize the positions of things. Once I tried using the 3DMG, it was easier, I could land, I knew the space between trees and the calculation I made were pretty accurate. It was working, at last.

 

I made my way to the roof, I made so many counts and I discovered so many things. I could tell what corridor where the dorms and which were the offices, the smelly ones were the dorms. Hange’s office/lab always smelled like alcohol and Levi’s like tea.

I sat and took a nap lying on the place’s door, that way the moment Mike comes I would wake up.

 

<<<<<<<<<<

 

*BAM!* the door closed abruptly

- _ ”I’m ready! I was not sleeping!! I’m f.. _ ” -I fell like an idiot for the surprise.

_ -”You’re early (Y/n). Let’s start the training” _

_ -”Yes!” _

_ -”Then I’ll see you downstairs in the woods” _

_ -”What?” _ -He left

 

I went down to where he was just for him to tell him that he wanted me to go up again, but, he would be trying to stop me. And so he did, the paths on the Mess hall were obstructed, he has a spear, because I kept getting hit. He also made me change routes more than once or even go back to the arena in the middle on the way. After all I memorized the whole place by heart and knew where he was, by smelling him. The spear had a wood smell and a sharp noise and wind, Mike’s smell was like...an old book. 

 

- _ ”Let’s go to the woods now, I saw you training there but you still can’t make fast movements or hit titans right? _ ”

- _ ”Ehh well, I finally got better after using my ears and nose _

_ -”Let’s see” _

 

He spent two hours making me repeat the same exercise, with his calm voice and serenity personality, Mike was one of the best soldiers on the Survey Corps and as strict as Levi...and Erwin of course. Funny thing is that on this training, the man liked to confuse me using tea and species leaves, I lost track of where I was because of that. I won a hit on the head every time.

-” _ Use your ears, you’re not deaf (Y/n) _ ” -he repeated

 

*One hour later*

- _ ”Don’t hit me anymore, I have a headache!!! I hit the damn titan thing!” _

_ -”You should be better, is not like this outside _ ”

-”I know...but I can’t move properly now, everything hurts like hell”- I touched my arms and legs, the bruises were amazing - _ ”What time is it? Birds are singing” _

-” _ Let’s stop here. We can resume our training at 7pm, here” _

_ -”My training with Erwin ends at that time!” _

_ -”So?” _

_ -”Alright...I’ll be here” _

 

I wanted to sleep badly for one hour, I walked like nothing around the place and got into the rooms corridor. Suddenly a familiar scent got me and I turned. “ _ Is someone there? _ ” I asked, no reply, maybe was nothing. I entered my room and slept.

 

>>>>>>>>>>

 

-” _ I see you just finished _ ”

-” _ Are you curious about her progress? _ ”

-” _ Why you ask?” _

- _ ”Isn’t that the reason why you’re here, Erwin?” _

The blond smiled at Mike’s question. - _ ”She’s sharp. I almost got caught” _ -he said walking his way.

_ -”She’s better than she think she is. Don’t underestimate her” _

_ -”I never did” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, comment, like, give kudos...next two chapters will be more intense (oh yeas)  
> Till next time!   
> hope you like it


	10. Diamond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike's training comes to an end after a race making (Y/n) better than she was before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Here's your chapter, hope you like it!  
> Sorry, as always, for spelling and grammar mistakes. My native language is spanish  
> I do not own SnK, I maybe own the story and any weird character, idk
> 
> Enjoy

Water supply starts at 5am in the morning. I have no way to have track of the light and naturally open my eyes with the sunlight, so this, once again, is my method, sleeping in the bathroom where the cold waters appears and hits you like a bick. Romantic.

Being already washed, blindfolded, I took my time to dress up properly and go bothering Hange at her room.

 

 _-”(Y/n), were you drunk last night?”_ -She asked half asleep on the middle of dressing herself, is funny even her room smells like alcohol.

_-”Why?”_

_-”You look like a mess”_

_-”Oh well, yeah probably”_

She let me enter her room, helped me re-dress and fix my mistakes with the messy wet hair I had. After she was fully awake I told her I had an idea that I wanted to use on the mission, and everyone else, if I had a good result, could have it as a new ‘purchase’. She agreed, sounded interesting. I would be working with her after Erwin’s training.

 

The pain of the trainings started to have effect when I had to sit on the mess hall. Armin came to guide me again, but this time wasn’t actually hard, I knew exactly where I was going and how to avoid clashing with people. I sat with everyone and tried to difference everyone’s smell by sniffing them just like Mike does. “ _The hell (Y/n)?? Training is making you a weirdo?_ ” -they told me. That wasn’t a lie.

The first part of the training, with Levi, was working again with a sequence of exercises of resistance and stamina, like a circuit all around the Survey Corps base, if we didn’t pass this test, we would have to run 100 laps after the afternoon training. The guys were worried about me, normally it would take some time before I could have a mental image and distance of the surroundings, so I could move comfortably. I have no time for “getting used” this time.

- _”Alright brats, we will go around the circuit once, specially because we have a self-proclaimed blind idiot among us. So you better get it”_ -Levi said.

 _-”Armin, you’re good with spacial reasoning and length, I’ll be running right next to you, please tell me what’s ahead, I’ll be making the counting on my own”_ -I told the kid

_-”Are you sure? The way I see it is complicated”_

_-”Doesn’t matter, the harder, the better” -_ For my surprise Eren and Mikasa heard and decided to help me too, I was going to be near them and they would help me remember the whole circuit.

 

We did the first lap, the whole things was really long and the obstacles were so different from each other. Climbing, jumping, mud crawling, equilibrium, horizontal climbing bars, agility and fighting. I concentrated hard to keep all the information of each station by rhythmical patterns, distance, ground texture, sounds and smells. Tension among the group was crucial, I could know what kind of thing as coming by just hearing everyone’s breathing.  And the real thing began.

The first round Armin and Mikasa told me what was ahead five second before each station.I had some trouble remembering the information I had, I got tangled on one part too and I fall on the horizontal bars; but I soon recovered. The second time was easier, my friends told me again the exercises, but I could remember almost all of them already; I had to keep the count on my head all the time.

 _-”I really thought she wouldn’t even pass the first station” -_ Reiner said -” _She’s truly amazing!_ ”

 _-”She’s really making the impossible to be on our level on five days”-_ Jean added patting when he got right next to the tall blond.

- _”You two! Braun, Kirschtein! shut up or you will be making laps_ ” -The captain yelled. The two young men started running again to be near me, fun thing, once I ended my 7th lap I felt something was thrown but I never expected to be thrown at me. Lucky me it didn’t hit me, I was too busy grabbing something on the floor, but what was this?

 

 _-”I’m sure this is not part of the circuit”_ -I extended my hand to look for the object, a stone. I started to get a bit tense- _”You could have caused an accident Mike!_ ”

- _”Your training is enough for you to intercept that” -_ I said nothing, was true. I knew Mike was watching me all along, but I wasn’t expecting this move from him at this time - _”This is nothing compared to the accidents that can happen out there”_

_-”I apologize…”_

_-”Don’t be. Have you memorized the circuit?” -_ Why would he ask that out of the blue? I just nodded in confusion - _”Let’s have a race, Levi, you too. (Y/n), if you win, no one will do laps and the blindfolded training will over, but if you lose, everyone will do 150 laps”_

 _-”What?!” -_ Me and everyone said that.

 _-”Seems fair to me. Maybe she can stop being so damn cocky” -_ Levi added

 

Funny thing, now everything relied on my performance and ability to be perfectly concentrated and pass all the stations. I could be a bit confident if they told me that I would do this against Armin and maybe Mikasa...this wasn’t the original plan. We three went to the start to prepare, I got surrounded by a huge crowd; the loud was so big I got disoriented; as usual, my blond friend took and placed me with Mike and Levi. -” _Don’t take it seriously, if you don’t win, it’s ok. We won’t be mad”_ -that were his last words before the race.

 _-”On your marks…”_ -(Y/n), concentrate…

 _-”Ready?”_ -Come on! Listen to Mike, Mike’s breathing, the trees, the ground, you know the circuit.

_-”Go!!”_

 

Thinking as fast as I could I knew the first station was climbing onto the net wall, we got there at the same time and jumped to the other side with a difference of half second, Levi was first, I heard his gasp when he landed. The running across part of the woods was easy and the equilibrium on top of the river came next.

 _-”Don’t fall brat”_ -I heard first and a fast air came right after. Mike passed us both. Freaking men not letting me concentrate. I lost count and I made a way to quickly restart, that detail cost me a cut of at least 5 stitches on my back when I was mud crawling under the spiky wire, I barely felt it. It was not easy,hearing their fast moves, made me nervous, maybe I was making a fool of myself here, maybe I lost already.

Then I knew we had the horizontal stairs, and I also knew I was now third. In order to win I had to do something about this and what can I do to pass this part as fast as I can? running above it, like it was another equilibrium trail. I jumped fast, I did everything else fast. I could hear everybody scream, every second closer and closer….and there was a station left, and even when my chest was about to explode I made my last effort. I knocked myself with the ground, and that was the last thing I remember, I passed out.   

 

>>>>>>>>>>>

 

 _-”Hohoo!!!! Look who’s back!” -_ Hange was more than pleased that I was ‘alive’, specially, under her care. My cheek was itchy -swollen too- and my head hurts, main reason? because of Hage’s loud voice.

_-”Where am I?”_

_-”(Y/n), darling, if you open your eyes you could see where you are”_

I didn’t had my blindfold, I could see again.

 _-”How are you feeling?”_ -A male voice talked, and it took me a minute to focus again and adapt to the light, to see the two people in the room, of course, the man had to be Mike - _”Maybe was the lack of sleep and overwork that made you pass out like that, you even hurt your face landing_ ”

Oh, so, I ‘Landed’ on my face...

_-”But I can see now, did I…?”_

_-”You lost, but since you pass out and did your best, we decided to let everyone go. And the training with me is over_ ”

- _”Oh…”_

_-”You should go to eat kiddo, lunch will be over soon”_

 

My wounds were under control, my body hurt like hell, but I was so hungry. I was told by the crazy woman that today I was going to work with her before and after my training with the Commander, and I could/should take it as _resting_ . The habit of being blindfolded was already so in my blood already -yes, in one and a half day-, that I unconsciously closed my eyes and walked around the place, to the mess hall. Everything was over, but a plate was left with a note on top “ _You can see now, don’t drop it like a retard. PS: I don’t want to see your face on my afternoon class_ ” and _“Bring paper and a pencil to today’s training -E.S_ ”

I wonder if they were together and wrote this, or one wrote first and the other later...it’s only certain that I was called retard on a note that probably more than one person read. Nice.

 

I hanged with Hange all the time until 5. I made a big improvement on my idea and I left all the details and documents about it with my boss so she could start making the first samples to try after my training. As told, I took paper and pencil to the arena where Erwin was already waiting for me.

 _-”I heard you passed out after finishing Mike’s training this morning”_ -He said

_-”Oh well...after my failed attempt to win your two strongest soldiers, Commander, pity was the only thing I could win, and yes, I was spared from my training”_

- _”...Right...well, I asked you to bring papers because I will teach you about strategy and the mission outside the wall. You need to have all the information so you can start analyzing situations as soon as possible”_

 

And that was not everything, he took one hour explaining and answering my fatalist questions about everything, since I’ve never seen a titan and is my first time going out to fight for real. My biggest fear is that, above all that can happen, I would be left behind like an idiot. He was patient and gave me survival tips in case of an emergency. After that, he assigned me a horse and then he dropped a question -” _How prepared you think you are for the mission?_ ” -he was dead serious now.

 _-”I haven’t thought about it, I probably won’t. I just want to give my all and prove that I can be as good as you, for myself, so I don’t have to depend on anyone anymore”-_ I don’t want to be underestimated anymore, nor insulted for being incapable _-”even if I die in the middle of the mission, before that, I’ll prove it”_

 _-”This is a team, and we support each other even if some aren’t ‘as good’, we depend on each other sometimes, like a family we fight for ideals and principles. You have made an incredible effort, and I’m sure there’s no one looking down on you (Y/n)” -_ Erwin replied and I understood, but he wasn’t getting my point so I just gave him a tiny smile.

 _-”I know, but I want to build something mine again, with my own effort, for me alone…”-_ Someone started screaming at me from the mess hall and was Hange, she was making me signals - _”I’ll be leaving, thanks for the information and the horse, Commander”._

 

<<<<<<<<<<<<

 

I ate at Hage’s lab finishing the project I had in mind. Once we got out firsts little trials we decided to go to the woods to try them out.

- _”I think they need more sulfuric acid, this is too weak_ ”- It barely made a spot on the ground - _”We also need to make them lighter and make them more little”_

_-”I agree, but they won’t be difficult to handle? What’s the risk of one or all of them exploding for external reasons? people falling, not handling them well…”_

_-”Let’s make them safe. I know how to do it, will be like a security thing”-_ We made three more trials before getting a proper secure bomb. It was the best if we didn’t make too much of them, and half of them will be with my boss and the other half with me; in any case, any of us could hand them to anyone who wants one in a fight situation.

The explosion was big enough to make a good impact, but dangerous enough to harm anyone too near.

 

The next day I excused myself from training and worked on the lab on my own for half a day. The mood of the Survey Corps changed drastically, and people were just concentrated on doing their respective duties to avoid thinking about tomorrow. I’ve heard, I’ve seen more than twice when these people come back to the walls, with bunch of corpses, the ones that they could retrieve. I wasn’t thinking either.

I didn’t wanted to see Levi, nor Mike, nor Erwin. Anyone.

I wanted to ride on my horse and train for the last time on the woods before going and making a plan...I was good enough, I’m good enough, (Y/n) is good enough to go on this mission.

***************

 _-”I wasn’t expecting you to end her training so soon” -_ Erwin commented writing a report on his desk on the company of Levi and Mike.

 _-”She’s already beyond that training_ ” -Mike said while watching (Y/n) walk by herself towards the woods.

- _”Then why the fuck didn’t you tell her she won the damn race?”_

_-” Levi, Our roles as team leaders, is to support and make our soldiers the best warriors and people. If I tell her now that she won, she will be overconfident and will spoil her performance in the mission and after. If she thinks she still has a long way to go, she will give more of herself and be way better each day”_

_-”That’s why you made me threaten every single brat on this place? for her to not be more cocky than what she already is?” -_ The raven haired man was told to make everyone keep (Y/n) success a secret, at least after the mission. Even when was a tiring job, he understood the meaning behind it, and how someone as trivial as that girl, was becoming one of the best soldiers on the Survey Corps, maybe the only one on his level.

- _”But how she managed to pass the blindfolded test? You did the same with a couple of cadets here_ ” -The Commander asked Mike

- _”Is innate. You have to be born with it to be that good in such short amount of time. That’s why I’m saying she’s beyond that training. If (Y/n) keeps that pace, she will be at my level in no time, and then she will surpass you, Erwin, and then Levi…_

 

_….She’s a raw diamond”_

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

And with the sunrise, the Survey Corps were ready to go in their mission beyond the walls. With their heads up and best of hopes, ready to face hell.

 _-”Are you ready (Y/n)?”_ -asked Erwin

- _”I will be. I’ll make sure you don’t have to sacrifice yourself for me Commander_ ”

_-”I’ve always liked that confidence of yours”_

  
**_And the mission began_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Give kudos, comment, Like, share, scream...whatever you want.  
> Thanks for the support, till next time pals


	11. Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Survey Corps starts their mission outside the walls, (Y/n) first mission and frist time watching the unknown.  
> What can happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writing this so much.  
> I was going to post this on sunday, but I had a situation here in my house. Sorrt guys.  
> But I'm back.
> 
> I do not own SnK, sorry for any mistakes, grammar and spelling
> 
> Hope you like it as much as me

Erwin’s new formation was being performed by the Survey Corps, the humanity’s hope, filled with confidence and no fear to give up their lives for the sake of their beliefs.

As I was told, my place was on the Commander’s team, with Hange and others, transporting important material in special carriages, at the top of the group, we were the first ones to arrive our destiny and start the plan that was set. But as for now, my only job was to shoot those smoke signals anytime we encounter titans.

 

- _”There’s a titan (Y/n), an aberrant, shoot the signal”_ -Erwin told me. I could see how the sky filled itself with black smoke signals every time we found a titan, and how the assigned people fought them. I have to admit that, more than once, I had to contain my laugh, the way the aberrants behave was way too funny to be true.

 _-”I’m sure you wouldn’t laugh if you had to fight them”_ -Erwin commented again

 _-”Hange seems pretty happy each time she sees one or fights one”_ -He probably expected me to be more shocked and nervous about this whole thing - _”I think that’s the best way to face this situation_ ” -He ignored me after that. Besides staying in focus I may have sounded like an amateur ignorant brat to him; on the other hand I guess I won an ally when seeing Hange’s face of excitement about my compliment. - _”I always knew you were one of mine!” -_ she said.

 

The plan was to get to a forest on the east side, beyond than what was written in the map the Survey Corps had, in other words, to expand the already-known place and discover another. The way to the most far away place takes between three to four hours if there’s no big obstacles like too many aberrant titans together to take care of, and kind of the same amount of time to get back. If we stay one hour setting things up to catch what Hange wants, including fail attempts, three hours can be added to the whole trip, would take 12 hours in total. I made those calculations yesterday while trying to sleep, because the pain I will end up having between my legs is going to be worst than a rough night with the wildest man on earth, meaning, an aberrant maybe. Ew. Those fuckers are crazy.Getting back to the point, we got out of Wall Sina and then Maria at 5am and we would go back at twilight.

 

But what I can say it surprised me, was the extension of the outside world. The grass and trees are whatever, but the landscape looked infinite, as the sky and how birds disappeared from our sight after a while of just watching them fly above us. That was freedom itself.

One hour and a half passed, all quite under control, the majority of titans that  we encountered were normal ones, and the rest were spotted by other groups. We would have  break in half and hour for 15 minutes before moving again.

 

-” _There hasn’t been titans in a while Erwin_ ” -The woman with glasses commented after checking the surroundings and the lacks of smoke signals of the near groups.

_-”I know. Be prepared, they can be waiting for us”_

That was true, no more than 5 minutes passed when a group of three big aberrants appeared ahead. The Commander gave direction so two of the group plus Hange took care of them, Erwin and I stopped and looked at the fight but a fourth aberrant appeared running in four towards us. -” _I will take care of that one, stay safe on a side_ ” _-_ he told me.

From my point of view, the fight wasn’t as smooth as I expected, yes it was violent, but somehow the titans were really strong, fast and could see where they were moving, making everything harder. just when they were done with all of them, another pack of four aberrants appeared, running even faster, more desperate.

- _”Where do they come from?” -_ Hange asked Erwin - _”Is like they want something. How I would love to take a pair of you!_ ”

I went over the carriage to look after it, our most important instruments and weapons were there, and by no means a freaking titan would destroy that. The rest of the horses run away somewhere far and one of the gigants was killed, and I was too immersed into analyzing the fight I began thinking of how could I make these fights easier with less violence and casualties. This seemed too hectic for everyone, I can now understand why being a Survey Corp is the most difficult job inside the walls. With ideas on my head I got a tiny notebook out of my pocket to write down everything before I forgot, once back at the headquarters I would have a conversation with Hange about this.

- _”(Y/n)!!!! Behind y..!!”_  -I heard.

My face ended up covered in red or whatever solution the titan’s blood had when I sliced up on one movement whatever wanted to grabbed me. - _”I didn’t suffer on training to end up dead stupidly” -_ I said, but the thing was still alive, I just cut his hand. I stood up over my horse, and I don’t know how I stayed there, but when that things tried to grabbed me with the other hand, I jumped really hard to run all over his arm and stick my blade on his ear quickly and got down to the ground.

The titan began screaming and shake violently, watching me, and when I got grasp of the other ear, I run again and did the same as before. He couldn’t stand up anymore because the hit left him disoriented, totally unbalanced also. -” _So it really works...my guessings were true”_.

 

Took me a second to realize what just happened, impressed that I could kill a titan that easily by reflex. I was so into my thought, I did my moves impulsively. Yes I could have died a second ago, but I didn’t. Erwin, Hange and the other two came to me after dealing with the titans and shocked by what they witnessed, they could not believe, like me, I was alive. And above all, how could I private a titan like that, without killing it.

- _”(Y/n) are you alright?_ ” -Hange asked yelling followed by the Commander behind her - _”How did you...do this?”_ -We three looked at the miserable erratic titan.

- _”Well, from what I’ve learned, titans body’s are similar to ours, humans, but the structure of the head, nerves and organs is the same. That way, thinking of a way to ’turn-them-off’ by paralyzing them or taking their balance, seemed like a good idea, but I wasn’t sure if they would react to that. Ears have a special architecture and liquid that is connected to the brain and equilibrates the body, if you destroy that, you get this. I got too excited and tried it out” -_ That was part of what I was writing on the notebook, giving my explanation another idea came to mind, but it was way more elaborate and I needed tremendous support from lots of people. Hange nodded and got excited, talking to herself about if they should take that titan as a sample.

- _”I have to say I’m impressed. You know about human anatomy?_ -Smith placed himself in front of me, leaving the crazy woman alone for a while.

- _”Just the basic. I’m a chemist, my speciality are reactions; and the human body has tons of them. And they’re completely natural, I know about those. If my life depended of my surgery skills, I would just kill myself” -_ I laughed a bit with my joke, like a loser, and he looked as serious as before. I felt worse.

- _”I understand, you did good” -_ he replied and went back with the rest. That was as cold as ice. The 15-minute break was held there to check if everything was under control, drink water, and keep going. Halfway to the new undiscovered woods.

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

We got there on schedule, we, Smith’s team was the first to arrive and quickly make an evaluation of the place. Hange and I were in charge of that while Erwin and the other two set up the artifacts on the carriage.

Trees diameter and length, colors, plants, rivers, animals, weather, smells, extension of the forest; all those things were measured and written in a paper my partner got prepared before we left.

 _-”You sure are better than Moblit as an assistant_ ”

- _”Please don’t say that in front of him, I don’t want to be hated so soon” -_ We surrounded the whole area and got what we needed, even samples of new plants and insects due to Hange’s persistence. Then I began hearing something for a second, and smelling something different than usual. The smell reminded me of something, but I couldn’t say what was it. -” _Hey, did you hear that?”_

 _-”Heard what? Titans sure are coming this way but (Y/n), the only ones with doggie talents are you and Mike” -_ That sounded terrible.

 

The other teams started arriving and doing what they had to do on their own. Mike and Levi reported everything that happened during the way to Erwin and collaborated with finishing the titans trap along the woods to get two titans, an aberrant and a normal one. And made some test along the way with them. After the two team leaders went back to their positions, the plan was set.

The traps were located in two places, on my team and on Levi’s, a good distance away from us. On that matter, we gave his team part of the bombs in case they needed some extreme measures, and in case they didn’t had immediate backup from us or the others.

 

Titans were arriving too, some of them faster than others, but they weren’t making it easy. All of us were on tree branches and the giants all concentrated around the trees, not walking through the selected place to catch one.  I heard something weird but so quick, again deep in the woods, but I was the only one aware of it apparently, how would I like to have Mike so I could share my thoughts, what would he say?

- _”Oh look (Y/n), one is near the trap_ ” -Hange made a signal for Erwin, who was in the tree in front of us, and he answered with another one - _”Let’s catch that baby”_

A 10mts male titan was caught, the only one that went straight to the trap. I helped tying it up and write the specifications on another paper Hange gave me before spazzing out of joy. Now, we were going to move to Levi’s team to help them catch the aberrant, with the help of some of us as bites for them, it should be easy, no fight would take place here.

 

 _-”How everything is going?”_ -Asked Smith to Levi

- _”It’s a fuking pain in the ass, I can’t set up the whole thing because a damn stupid titan gets caught”_

_-”We need to get them here. How many people you can send?”_

_-”All my team and some others are available”_

_-”Good, I’ll send two of mine, you stay here Levi” -_ Not me for sure _._ Levi’s team plus two of ours. We needed to be prepared, set up the trap again, get rid of the titans we don’t want, and finally caught a good aberrant.

 

I helped with everything and even helped kill a titan, but I didn’t got the chance to kill one myself. I kept hearing things, and smelling...but what is it? On a chance I got to go a little further from the others, I realized I could differentiate the human smell from the titan’s, the normal ones they smelled a bit like cooked meat, but then...there’s another smell, aberrants...oh I see. I saw them all, they were...why aren't they moving? What are they waiting? Oh. Shit.

All this time, what I was heard was a bunch of titans getting ready to make a move, they were not the stupid type. They were intelligent, prepared to attack, waiting to ambush the team that was going to return soon. ‘ _What do I do?_ ’ A minute passed and they’re almost here, Levi’s team, I can hear them. I was runnnig out of time, and I don’t have time to ask Erwin for a freaking plan, or Levi or Hange. The giants wanted to cut their path and then ambush from every single place, all of them would be end up dead. Just what do I….the bombs!.

 

I didn’t ask for permission to act, nothing, I was going to risk lives in order to save them and save all of us. _“I won’t let you win, you fuckers”._ I grabbed the bag of bombs and went fast to the place where Levi’s team, more than ten more people, were going to be ambushed, I needed to be there, before them. But when I arrived to a branch, I saw that they already stopped suddenly in the middle of the forest, when three titans blocked their paths…

- _”You!! Move out of there now!!! MOVE, IT AN AMBUSH!!”_ -I yelled at them hoping they would move fast. The titans, all of them appeared prepared to kill them all so I just threw the bag and I exploded than thing in the middle of the clash.

 

The explosion was heard in all the forest.

 

Erwin, Hange and Levi came to the scene asking what happened, looking at the burnt place, injured people and mutilated titans. The Commander spotted me, he saw when I was running with the bag before.

- _”What is this? What happened?”_

_-”They were going to be ambushed. I saw them, intelligent titans”_

_-”So, you exploded all the bombs? Do you see the damage you just caused?”_

_-”They were going to be killed!! Wait, are you mad at me because I saved people?” -_ Erwin was mad, and he was going to answer me when Levi and Hange came from the ground to report.

 _-”You idiot, you call that saving people? They’re all injured and our trap is useless”_ -Levi started and turned to Erwin - _”They have big burns all over the place, I don’t even understand what happened”_

The two men looked at me angrily and thinking. Smith talked again.

- _”Why didn’t you told that to any of your superiors?”_

_-”I had no time, they would be dead by now if I waited for you to make a plan”_

_-”This is a team (Y/n), you can’t act on your own. I told you that”_

_-”Omg, I can’t believe you’re mad because I didn’t follow a stupid protocol. Erwin this was an emergency!”_

_-”What if they die from the burns? Will you take responsibility?”_ -I didn’t answer, my mouth just open for nothing -” _Their job is to fight titans, be prepared in all kinds of situations and be killed for the cause, or because of not having their eyes wide open”_

_-“Still…”_

_-”This is not how things are done in the Survey Corps (Y/n), you created a bigger problem with your actions and you didn’t report your superiors. If this is how you will act, you better quit being one of us. You’re dismissed, go to some other team on our way back”_

_-”Excuse me??” -_ What was his problem? What sin did I commit? I saved people!

 _-”I shouldn’t have take you here, you’re not fit for this. That training made you too cocky, maybe” -_ He turned away and left. Levi gave a _‘Pff’_ -” _Just because you have whatever shitty talent doesn’t make you a big deal, think about the fucking consequences you stupid. Don’t come to my team either, I have enough injured and I don’t want you to kill me now”_

He left too. Erwin got the order to end everything and prepare to go back to the city. Hange was the only one who seemed sad about me and tried to comfort me surrounding me with her arm.

 _-”Don’t be so sad (Y/n), they weren’t expecting this. Just wait until we go back and apologize to Erwin. He can be a softy. Right now, he just have too much to take care of…”_ -She smiled at me -” _Will you go with Mike?_ ”

- _”I don’t know. I’m too embarrassed to see him” -_ He may even say ‘No’ out of the blue. Hange left me with my half spirit and the only thing I could do was helping the people who got injured because of me.

 

<<<<<<<<<<<<

 

Titans were still around, but not that much, after helping the last injured I thought in which team I should go. I jumped among the trees with my 3DMG to get back to the base, too distracted when a titan got one of my wires. I got completely unbalanced. It wasn’t letting me go and if I didn’t do something fast, I would be smashed against a tree or the ground.

I made a way to cut the wire and hang around with the other, enough to attack the motherfuker titan _“I don’t have mood to play with you!”,_ cut him on the neck and kill him.Thing is, I still thought I had two wires, so I did fall and hit myself. As usual.

 

…….3rd person pov

The Survey Corps went back successfully from the mission outside the walls, received by the people with smiles and critics, like always. All the teams were relieved that they got back safely and they could have another chance to live.

During all the way, everyone talked about the explosion that they heard and that is seems that part of why half of the mission failed was for that. But the reason behind it was unknown, some said it was revenge, some that was a cadet, some that was a spy...all kinds of stories arised.

 

When they all got back, the Commander gave 15 minutes to prepare and report to the Mess Hall again to do the roll call, brief report, observations and details. Everyone was dismissed.

-” _Erwin, everyone is talking about an explosion, it was in your direction, did something happen?”_ -Mike Asked Erwin who was heading to his office.

-” _Those were the bombs (Y/n) made. She threw them all a group of titans that were to ambush our people”_  

_-”Is that why we couldn’t get the other titan?”_

_-”Yes, we’ll talk about it in the meeting. I have to talk with her also”_

 

With a full house, the meeting began. The team leaders were standing and all the cadets were seated eating a bread while waiting for dinner.

- _”Alright cadets, we had a good mission and I’m pleased with your performance, with some casualties, but on overall it ended up quite well_ ” -The Commander said -” _As you know we had an issue that I will explain but first let’s do the roll call”_

Levi proceeded with it, calling names and people answering back.

-“ _(Y/n)_ ” -he called with no response -” _(Y/n)! Don’t tell me she went to cry to her room_ ” -The short man turned to the team leader, “ _Hey Shitty Glasses, she was with you the last time, where she went?_ ”

 _-”I asked if she was going to go with Mike, she told me she wasn’t sure” -_ Everyone looked at Mike

-” _She was not with me_ ”

 _-”Fuck this girl...you Ackerman! go look for (Y/n) in her room and tell her to stop her shitty acting” -_ Levi commanded. Meanwhile the elders started talking about it, no one saw her. Mikasa went back to her superiors and reported “ _(Y/n) is not in her room. Not her 3DMG, not her uniform, and not the bag she took”_

 

 _-”Erwin” -_ Hange was the only one who could talk - **”** **_We left her behind?”_ **

Everyone was thinking the same, but the woman was the only one who could state out loud the fact that they really left her behind.

- _”Erwin” -_ Levi talked and closed his eyes in regret. Commander Smith was shocked too, it was known that the chances of her to be alive by now were little, he wasn’t sure if he could go back to get her, to get maybe a corpse. It was not good, it was terrible, that wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t dismissed her from his team that way, if he wouldn’t have been so harsh...his chest felt heavy. Heavier than the others.

- _”The meeting is dismissed, I’ll be in my office…_

_“Let me think about what to do”_

  
After she hit her head, she was disoriented for some minutes and without notice, she was all alone, on titan grounds, outside the wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yes....yes....I'm so mean.  
> Well, we needed some action and drama, here it is.
> 
> Please share, give kudos, scream, comment...  
> I don't know when I'll be posting next, I have to update two other fanfics. But I will write, don't worry, I won't dissappear.  
> Love u too much for that


	12. Survival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The journey of a girl outside the walls for one week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just finished writing this. I really hope you like it as much as I enjoyed writing it.  
> Our reader is getting stronger.  
> \-----  
> I do not own SnK, but I own the story  
> Sorry for grammatical or spelling mistakes, spanish is my mother tongue.

_ -”Did no one saw (Y/n) before leaving?”  _ -Hange asked the soldiers still reunited in the Mess Hall. Everyone seemed confused and alarmed, talking at the same time, asking questions. This was something that never happened before, and it was not sure if they could all go to find her. She stopped trying to calm the mayhem and turned to talk to her group -” _ Mike, you really didn’t smelled anything, like her scent missing? _ ”

_ -”I was carrying part of the injured soldiers, the smell of burnt flesh was really strong” - _ Levi and the other team leaders were listening carefully _ -”If Erwin had told me that he dismissed (Y/n), I would have taken her back with me”-  _ They stayed silent. Levi left and went to Erwin’s office to get details of a plan, if he had a plan. 

 

The short man knock the door and entered without waiting any answer; Erwin, was in his sofa, arms locked and eyes closed.

- _ ”It seems that no one saw that idiot before coming back, which I doubt” - _ Levi said standing right next to the sofa. The Commander opened his eyes slowly, giving a sensation of regret.

_ -”This is my responsibility, even if someone on purpose, didn’t say that she was still in the forest, her life is...or was my responsibility” _

- _ ”What’s the plan?” _

_ -”All missions need approval from Sina. They won’t concede any permission or money to just rescue one person. Specially a woman _ ”

The Survey Corps lived because of the tax money the people inside the walls paid, all this was always used to fix existent weapons, food, basic clothing, basic salary, weapons, research, documentation and things like that. It was just enough to cover the expenses on a mission per month, this time, to go out, they would have to wait until the money is collected and the King gave it’s consent.

_ -”So, there’s nothing we can do?” _ -Levi asked again.

- _ ”I will go to the capital tomorrow and have an audience with Zackly and any representative of the King. Even though, we have less than 20% chance to have a positive answer _ ” 

- _ ”What do we do if is like that? Go yourself?” _

_ -”I could, but is not what I should do. I can't leave the headquarters alone” _

_ -”What if I go?” _

_ -”Same thing applies to you. There’s a lot of people who won’t allow you to risk your life or even die” _

_ -”But that’s my fucking problem, not theirs” _

_ -”I understand. But is all about politics, and we have it very hard this time. We can just wait and hope that (Y/n) stays safe or dies without much pain”  _

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

_ -”Didn’t you said something about (Y/n) back then?”  _ -A soldier said.

_ -”Shut up! She fucking deserves to die out there, some almost got killed because of her stupid bombs and before, we risked ourselves to save her when she was the most wanted person in Trost and Rose” _ -The guy said fixing his pants on the male bathroom -” _ Makes no fucking sense” _

- _ ”...But it’s wrong. It’s like you killed her” _

_ -”Better her than us, right? _ ”

Just when they were going out of the place, one of them hit himself with something and fell. Lifting their head they saw Team Leader Mike, who for the first time seemed angry, he had heard everything. Taking both soldiers pleading mercy for their lives, one on each hand, he dragged them to Erwin’s office.

_ -”I found volunteers if you need help” _

_ -”What the fuck?”  _ -exclaimed Levi seeing the boys crying their eyes out -”Stop crying like idiots, what the fuck do you want?” -he asked the soldiers who instead of saying the facts, they were asking to not be jailed or killed. Erwin found it suspicious and proceeded to ask.

_ -”Do you perhaps know something about soldier (Y/n) being left behind?” - _ The boys saw themselves shocked and lowered their faces.

_ -”I knew it” _ -The captain prepared himself and hit them in the faces with a clean kick -” _ Spill everything” _

 

They said everything in a mess, fighting in order to blame the other for being the main witness or an accomplice. One of them saw (Y/n) helping carrying the injured people to a carriage, and later, somehow, they knew there was a titan behaving strangely. After some seconds, he saw that someone got caught and wanted to help, but after knowing it was her, he just left her. His reason was because she caused so many losses and ‘stupid’ persecutions, and still having special treatment. He was sick of that.

-” _ So, long story short, you’re jealous”  _ -Erwin concluded. Their actions needed a punishment and they were going to be jailed for a time, the one who saw was dismissed from the Survey Corp as a “Soldier of Dishonor”, and the other one would be under Levi’s punishment jurisdiction. -” _ This doesn’t solve anything. I will make preparations to go to Sina first time tomorrow” _

 

<<<<<<<<<<<

 

I didn’t blackout. I just needed a minute to recover from the fall, but I can’t see anybody. Did everyone left? That can’t be true, the Survey Corps would never do that, but the more I looked quickly, the more sure I am that I’m the only human out here. 

 

Titans were walking through the forest and some of them saw you. The aberrants liked to be far from woods or high lands like rocky hills or mountains, that’s something I discovered, but they could enter those places if they wanted to. For my luck, the normal slow titans liked to hang around the trees and for their natural form, was easier to hide from them to a certain point, more at this time of the day, the night was coming.

All titans went to sleep, Hange told me about this, titan’s energy came from solar light; this was a perfect opportunity to search what I needed. No one can’t deny that a place to go to the bathroom is the most important, a river was near this place, so it would be next to that, I had two things, and a place to sleep, on the trees. 

There was no moonlight, the woods were pitch black. After filling my canteen I used my 3DMG to go up, it was hard with just one wire on the side, you don’t have the equilibrium and the direction could change easily.

 

Morning came with a raging stomach demanding food, seemed the titans were on the same track, all surrounding my tree. But what can I exactly do? My MG was a mess and going down will potentially kill me. I found a way to sneak out and go down through the back of two trees behind mine, I could fill my canteen again and find a signal of anything that could be eaten, or a little animal, but titans found me again, how? The little ones were the most dangerous, they could run fast. 

That first day went slowly and painfully, I could not find anything to eat, and the hardness of the trees were killing my neck and back. Night came and  made my rounds thinking, there should be a way to camouflage or to fool these things.

 

I had a homesick feeling that woke me up, reality hit me hard this time. Would Erwin or Levi know already that you were outside the walls on your own? How high were the chances that they could go out to get you? It was low, I don’t have to be a genius to know that missions are expensive and with a huge rate of casualties; they wouldn’t go back for one person, you’re not Levi or Mikasa. I’m not someone that is essential for the Survey Corps. 

Probably they declare you dead again by now. But how many time could you actually survive in this circumstances? Not long I suppose. 

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

Smell! I have it. The majority of titans have well developed sense of smell, and that’s how they always find their way towards humans. That explains why even when the survey corps fell from their horses, they know wich one is the human; and is not because we walk on two legs, they cannot tell the difference, but the particular smell we have. 

My revelation came when I wanted to hunt and was running away from a titan nearby, who almost kill me, he could find me no matter where I was. I was left without the damn succulent rabbit but I discovered that. Titans could differentiate different types of animals, from small to big ones like deers, and they reacted different to each one of them. 

 

Big animals were the one that they didn’t even saw for curiosity, I don’t know why but maybe they had an odor that titan’s knew and didn’t care. Birds, on the contrary, they hated them, big titans usually tries to kill them like flies when they, the birds,  start attacking them for no apparent reason. This way, I wanted to try something. How could I hide my own smell, could they tell the difference?

My first trial got me in real trouble, I tried to found the plants with the strongest smell of all, including mushrooms. An aberrant was near the woods and came straight to attack me, but after I nullified his sense of equilibrium -my new method-, a group of new titans came to get me. I couldn’t do anything for hours. After they kind of dispersed to look at the aberrant still on the ground, I went somewhere else to finish what I was doing. I got what I wanted, plus a rock that was like a flat weird bowl and a strong stick. I took all that to my house, the third branch on the left, and started mixing all that looking for a thick result. When I kind of got it, I had to put a little bit of water, I applied it to myself...all of me. And went down.

 

Didn’t work, they could smell me more. Easier to find. 

 

Next trial, next day, I took out half of the plants I got, I wanted to see which plant got their attention. And I included a new element, insects, some of them are pretty smelly. I could also find little fruits to eat. I did the same, applied to myself and went down twice, one with one mix and the other with the second mix. One of them failed, definitely, adding mushrooms is not a good idea.The mixture that passed could subtly made the titans confused, they knew something was there, walking on it own, but wasn’t an animal, so they tried to get me. 

 

My fourth day outside the walls, I was really weak for the lack of food, and big amounts of energy to make the trials, no idea why. Is not like if I could go back and tell Hange all this, every day I almost die at least three times, my 3DMG is running out of gas and I’m getting weaker, specially because the nights were getting more dry and colder. God, The Walls, Maria, Rose and Sina, whoever must like me a lot, but this is really exhausting. I made another trial, I went around and find more of the plants and insects I got before, and to be more twisted and sadistic, I wondered what if I put blood, like from an animal. I thought about titan blood, but it evaporates too quickly is useless. So I needed a squirrel or a rabbit. That way I could eat something decent.

My attempt to hunt did not go well, two titans were around and attacked me at the same time, one of them grabbed me and squeezed me a little too much I know something cracked. I could barely get out alive and with an unbearable pain on the side of the thorax, when I used my blade to cut his wrist. Blade that had not much edge. I fall and crawled to a empty space, inside a tree; the other titan grabbed my feet and pushed me out of my safe zone, I was resisting so hard, I felt like my hands were going to rip apart at some point but I could get out of there without  my boots. I could not do anything until night.

The internal injuries were so big that I couldn’t move properly, a muscle ripped inside my right leg, a new head contusion, I haven’t eaten or drank anything the whole day...it was painful as hell. For the first time I was almost sure that I was going to die, but I don’t want to die. I want to stay here a little longer, just a little more. I gathered enough strength to move myself out of the hole to go up again and for my surprise, a little wild boar got hurt near where I was. The event from earlier must have affected him accidentally, and that was my perfect chance. I took it to the branch, where I carved a little hole to mix my things, and emptied part of the boar’s blood, plus the rest. I let it rest for the night, if I survive the night.  

 

<<<<<<<<<<

 

- _ ”Do you think is possible?” _

_ -”I would be violating a bunch of laws, but... I don’t want to sound rude...is she even alive?” _

_ -”Is still not too late, just a day passed and she’s not that stupid. The data we have of someone surviving outside the walls was more than two or three days. She has a fucking chance, but we need to act fast” _

_ -”What about Commander Smith?” _

_ -”He’s busy, we’re trying to get this done as soon as possible without anyone knowing. Just answer the damn question Hannes” _

 

The man from Garrison, half drunk, scratched his head thinking on what to do or say to the two man in front of him. After Erwin left to the capital, they went to the wall asking help for a way, the Garrison would let them go out to search for (Y/n) in a fast trip of five people. He wasn’t sure, Pixis was around and he wouldn’t let them do that even after three bottles of rum. Mike and Levi tried to push further to convince the man and he gave in after a while. - _ ”Give me a day to see if I can do something, but I can’t guarantee anything. If everything goes according to plan, I could let you go ” _

 

The next day was the fourth day since the mission began and finished, Erwin came back from Wall Sina to the headquarters with an open envelope that seemed written by the king himself. He went to his office and after taking a little break Hange, Levi and Mike went to see what was the verdict.

_ -”As I expected, they won’t allow us to go out for a single person. Zackly didn’t understand why I was doing this so I couldn’t have his support, and the king delayed my hearing to just give a letter denying the proposition” - _ The commander explained to his peers while leaning on his desk.

_ -”Mike and I talked yesterday to this Hannes from the Garrison to see if he can let us go out, we should have an answer for today” - _ Levi commented, Hange wasn’t really aware of that plan, but was more than pleased to help.

- _ ”That won’t help. Dot Pixis should know about my hearing with the king by now, he will be stopping any movement from us as the King’s order. Even if you go out, they won’t let you enter the wall again” _

_ -”Then there’s nothing we can do?” - _ Hange asked, getting anxious about not being able to do nothing for their new soldier.

_ -”Like the king said, ‘By now, she should be dead, she’s not a trained soldier like you [Erwin Smith] so wasting money on looking for a  _ **_woman,_ ** _ is just not worthy’. (Y/n) was strong but she never had experience to face a situation like this...none of us _ ” -He have a long and loud sigh closing his eyes - _ ”They won’t let us do anything. We should report her as dead and say some words on her memory on a meeting with all of the soldiers and team leaders” _

No one said anything else. It was curious how can a girl could impact so many lives in a short period of time, they couldn’t believe it. The memories they spent with her were so different and unique that somehow, felt nostalgic, even to Levi.

 

_ -”If that’s all I’m out. I have work to do” _ -Levi said and left the room, Hange started to get kind of depressed and Mike just stayed in the office.

 

- _ ”(Y/n) really was a great girl with a bright future. She would have been one of the best soldiers of all times”  _ -Mike walked towards the window to see the moon - _ ”Is not usual from you to do this kind of things for a soldier, but, you did what you could, Don’t blame yourself too much Erwin”  _

- _ ”We will miss her a lot” _

_ -”Yes, some of us more than others _ ”

 

>>>>>>>>>>

 

Next morning I got two surprises. First, I was still alive and second, when I looked down, besides the typical damn titans, was my horse. I thought the Survey Corps took it, but no. At first I thought that having the horse was kind of useless and no, I wouldn’t use it for my weird experiments. But…

 

_ -“This means I can go back” _ -It was crazy, nearly impossible. My health state was critical, riding a horse for at least four hours was not recommended and I needed a way to avoid fight at all costs. If I can’t fool the titans, I’ll be dead in less than 30 minutes. As simple as that. - _ ”I’ll fucking go back. I refuse to die here _ ”.

In my somewhat dramatic deathbed, I checked my nasty mixture and soaked my hair and body with it wishing for the best. I smelled pretty strong, not bad though, but the texture was terrible. The titans around my tree started to behave differently and seemed to lose interest in me, every minute; I had a hard time going down, now that I ran out of  gas on my 3DGM, and looked for my horse, and slowly, really slowly I started ‘walking’ on the woods on my own, surrounded by titans. - _ ”Bingo” - _ I was nonexistent for them. 

 

Because the boar wasn’t too big, I couldn’t apply the disgusting thing through my whole body, so there were still titans that would realize I was there. The more animalistic you smelled the better, so I would make the last preparations for my trip back to the wall, with a little meat I had from the boar and a new amount of mix, but I needed a larger animal. 

Wall whatever heard my prayers and helped sending me a deer. I could not believe myself when I was actually killing the animal, out of survival, to take out all its guts to make my thing and open it completely to use half of the body as a ‘shell’ or disguise. 

I could do that in the middle on the wood without trouble, every time a damn titan, aberrant or stupid came, I would take the deer’s kidney and rub it through all my body again. Disgusting, I know. But it was almost done, soon I’ll part. 

 

On the seventh day, I slept in the pool of blood and plants I created for myself, and stayed there thinking about starting the trip in a couple of hours, to be there by night. I wanted to be really soaked in the liquid and to rest a little my body. I could do the trip at night, but with all that happened was hard for me to remember the details and my horse probably didn’t have perfect night vision. Now that we both were invisible for the monsters, we could do what we wanted. Around 2pm, wearing the deer on my head, smelling like shit and red wet (good thing I didn’t had my period), we both left the forest.

 

<<<<<<<<<<

 

_ -”Dude, just play and show the damn card!” _

_ -”Shut up, I can’t waste my hand and lose this time” _

_ -”Everyday is like this...you always lose Hannes…” _ -The man took his beer and drank it almost all in one sitting - _ ”This is fucking boring...I want to go home and eat with my wife” _

_ -”I know what you feel, we’ll be out of shift soon. There, I played, your turn” _ -Hannes leaned on his chair looking to the horizon on top of the wall, after a minute he saw a green line of smoke from the ground  _ -”Hey, what’s that?” _

_ -”What’s what”? _

The more they looked they weren’t sure what was it,the figure were weird and dark, but quite fast. Hanned got alarmed, he wasn’t sure if he had to attack that thing or find out what was it. A second green shot was fired - _ ”Aren’t those the signal shot the Survey Corps use when they go on missions?” - _ One man said

_ -”Yes but...is that a Survey Corp? No one can survive outside the wall...who could...”  _ -Hanned remembered Levi’s request about going out to find someone that was left behind  _ -”No way...no way...is not possible” _

_ -”What?” _ _   
_ Close enough to have a better view, the men could tell it was a person with an animal on the back, completely dirty. Pixis appeared from the wooden elevator and wanted to know what the men were looking for so anxiously _ -”That’s the girl the Survey Corps left behind a week ago” - _ Hannes said.

- _ ”Is that a girl?” - _ The girl stopped at the entrance of Trost shooting the last green signal she had on her bag. The smoke made everyone cough and be confused for a moment.

- _ ”She wants us to open the door. What should we do? _ ”

Pixis thought for a minute and got curious about this and the fact that no titan was near her, even when Maria had some - _ “So this is the girl Erwin wanted to get back? If is her, I can see why...let her in. Be prepared just in case is a threat” _

 

They did as told, the door was lifted for her and the girl, (Y/n) got back to Trost, she did the impossible. The Garrison waited for her to appear, with their weapons ready to attack, they waited and soon got surprised at the view. -” _ What the fuck is that?”-. _

 

_ >>>>>>>>> _

 

I could barely stay on top of the horse, every single part of my body hurt. The Garrison men were looking at me as if I was the demon itself, and I understand, is not usual to see someone having a damn deer on top of the head with the  face covered in blood. The people from the town gathered at the entrance also curious, most of them thought I was a monster.

A bald man came towards me and checked my appearance - _ ”You sure look like a goddess from hell. Who are you soldier?” _

_ -”(Y/n) from the Survey Corps, Sir” - _ He nodded and smiled, it was her, he was being told days before about her existence, but he didn’t knew how splendid she was.

_ -”Erwin’s team am I right?” _

_ -”Yes. Sorry I don’t even know who you are, but can you ask those questions later and help me get something to drink or eat? I’ve been a week out there, if you don’t know” _

_ -”I’m Dot Pixis, Commander of the Garrison. I’m very aware of your story, I’m just perplexed. Let me help you missy” - _ The man helped me, he smelled like alcohol, and told his soldiers to guide me to the nearest hostal. I was received with such greatness, as if I was a hero, everyone started talking about who I was and how come I came from outside of the wall, others were throwing out because of my smell. 

 

A doctor came to see me and the owner of the place gave me tons of food that I wanted to eat, but I was too much in pain to eat it all. I just know, that, I came back from death, again.

 

<<<<<<<<<

 

- _ ”I finished the report Erwin. Shitty glasses is asking if you will go to eat dinner at the mess hall, she wants to give you some documents” _

_ -”Yes, let’s go. Thank you Levi” _

The mess hall was more quiet than usual, just the day before they held a meeting giving the official statement about (Y/n) death and everyone was feeling down. The team leaders and Erwin started eating at the table in silence, Hange handed the documents and tried to start little conversations to lift the mood. Just there the someone entered running, looking frantically for one table.

- _ ”Why can’t fucking Moblit enter the place like a normal person?” _  -asked levi taking a sip of his tea. Hange waved at his assistant to let him know where she was, he immediately run to her.

- _ ”You won’t believe it...She’s...alive!” _ -No one understood, the whole place turned to see the man out of breath trying to relay the message.

_ -”What are you talking about Moblit? Breathe”  _ -Hange stood up to give the man some pats on the back.

_ -”(Y/n) is alive...she...she just entered Trost!, I saw her!” _

_ -”What?” _ \- Asked Erwin perplexed. Moblit nodded smiling, but no one reacted.

_ -”Don’t be fucking kidding me” _

 

_ -”She just entered Trost riding her horse...she really survived a week outside the walls!” _

 

Erwin dropped his fork.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it?  
> Reader is so cool. Please, comment, share, give kudos, scream, love erwin, love reader, love snk.  
> Till next time!


	13. Night Prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y/n) arrives to the headquarters, but not everyone knows how to express their feelings. Doesn't help the fact that she's also injured

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Done, and I won't write much here because is really late and I have work tomorrow. And if there's any mistake, is for that reason. Sorry
> 
> Hope you like it tho.   
> \-----  
> I do not own SnK, I own the story  
> Please forgive my grammar/spelling mistakes, english is not my mother tongue.

_ -”I will go right now!!” _ -Hange screamed in the middle of the mess hall, making way to go grab her things at her office - _ ”Mike, lend me  your bag! I will get her food and medicines!!” _

_ -”I’ll go with you” - _ Mike replied following the woman - _ ”I don’t think one person is enough. Don’t wait for us, we’ll probably stay the night with her” - _ The people at the table said nothing; the couple prepared everything for their departure taking what they needed to provide their friend with medicine, food and clothes for the night, and know her physical state. It was almost impossible for her to be back in one piece, a newbie on her first mission at the mercy of all those titans.

 

The little hostel was full of curious people talking and asking questions and Garrison soldiers helping the owners to maintain the people under control. Dot Pixis stayed close, writing a report about this amazing situation and waiting for the doctor to come and have a look at the girl; in the meantime some people of the place were helping her get cleaned and get rid of the smell and the deer skin she had. The odor was making half of the people of the hostel throw up. 

An hour later, the doctor arrived with an assistant and checked the girl exhaustively, he wasn’t believing the version of her survival for one week, instead, he was going to register her as a mental patient, and (Y/n) didn’t have the energy to fight or refute any of his nonsense; she was practically more on the other side than this one, she just wanted to rest...but no one would give her space. She was getting annoyed.

 

>>>>>>>>>>>

A tremendous noise was heard from the lower floor, why people had to be so noisy? The huge headache I had for the lack of food, plus the stubborn stupid doctor saying I was delusional, and the pain was too much for me. I’m missing the titans and how quiet the could be.

The noise was moving and getting stronger, we all could hear it how it moved from downstairs to the stairs to the hallway, and finally someone slammed the door.

Hange’s shocked face was bigger than when Ewin told her they could catch some titans for her investigations, she stayed frozen for half a minute until she reacted watching me lying on bed, half dirty and my terrible face.

_ -”(Y/N)!!!!!!!”  _ -She came and hugged me too hard. I can’t complain, I really missed this kind of exaggerated gestures from her; Although I couldn’t find how she found out so quickly, I was going to stay in here for a couple of days until I could walk and move myself with my horse to the headquarters...and I doubt Pixis told them, he's too busy writing and drinking somewhere. In a point the woman started crying while taking a look at me grabbing my two arms - _ ”Have this people feeded you?? Are you comfortable??? Are you dying???” _

_ -”Yes they gave me soup not long ago. I’m ok, just in pain and with a headache” - _ Mike then appeared, I knew he was somewhere, hs smell is quite unique, but Pixis was talking to him about how this whole thing ended being a true story. I couldn’t smell anyone known, that meant Levi and Erwin stayed back, if the news spread so quickly maybe I was expecting to see them, but, I admit this is a little disappointing. Somehow.

Hange started doing things like crazy on her own, like taking out the food and just placing it on top of me, the medicine, she started cleaning something but she got too distracted with something else, what a mess.

_ -”You’re the ‘Titan whisperer’ now” _ -Mike said patting my head and making his way through Hange’s mess -” _ Instead of asking you how you feel, I rather ask you if you still have all your limbs” _

_ -”I do..but can you do something about that idiot of doctor? He thinks I’m insane and he won’t give me the fucking painkillers” - _ Two animalistic gazes were over the stubborn doctor at the corner of the room, who was trying to hide himself from the two Survey Corps figures, not very successful, he was not just kicked out of the hostel with his assistant, but Hange confiscated all his medicine from his bag.

After a while, when my female crazy partner helped me get a bath -A religious experience. You cannot be shy after Hange get way too excited when rubbing every inch of you body, because ‘she’s a good nurse’ and ‘she is a good mother’- I got to eat a little more. The portions of my food had to be little, no matter how hungry I may be, I would end up throwing up all over the place if that happens. I was really exhausted and I needed a good sleep after this tedious week. 

During the night Mike and Hange stayed at the hostel dinner room calming and answering people’s questions so they would go and let the girl sleep. Pixis sobered up and Hannes joined the trio into their night talk about (Y/n)’s situation.

_ -”So, you really did forgot about her. Is not like Erwin to skip the roll call after leaving a place, no matter where it is _ ” -The Commander said.

-” _ We had a special situation at the mission, so we couldn’t proceed with a roll call. In that case, we team leaders are at fault, for not checking among ourselves _ ”

- _ ”Hmmm I see. So we will have to wait until she’s recovered to get a proper report about how she could stay alive for so long without being half eaten”-  _ Pixis looked at his notebook filled with ideas and words from different hypothesis he heard from the people and (Y/n) herself - _ ”You cannot decipher something Zacharius?” _

_ -”I can just tell that she hid her human odor by using animal’s blood” - _ He looked at Hange, seriously listening - _ ”That was an extremely smart move”. _

_ -”I wondered it was something of that matter, the smell was rotting everyone’s nose in here. The King will like to hear this story” - _ taking another sip of his drink to get more drunk, he smiled brightly - _ ”Who knows if she’s invited to Sina as the Miracle hero of the Walls”. _

_ -”(Y/n) is not a circus animal. She has nothing to do at Sina” - _ Hange commented, a bit angry at his comrade.

- _ ”No one knows. Everyone will be talking about her for a long time, and the curiosity will grow more every day” _

 

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

 

With the help of a carriage Hange and Mike brought, I was able to be in a little comfortable position on our way back to the headquarters. The painkillers and antibiotics were not so effective and the instructions of the doctor for the treatment weren’t enough for the kind of internal injuries I had. ‘Resting’ was all he could say, I was not amused. I understood though, there wasn’t much advance in medicine, and the things that existed were for basic illnesses, for everything else, was resting and hope for the best. Operations were kind of uncommon also. The civilians were gathered in front of the hostel since very early in the morning, a lot of children attended my ‘farewell’, Mike exchanged some last words with Pixis and Hange asked around about recipes for fast recovery. At 10am we left to the castle.

 

The bad thing about the trip, was that the bumps in the ride were terrible for my leg and sometimes my back. As soon as we got to the headquarters people were waiting to take care of me apparently, I could see Mikasa, Armin, Reiner, Eren, Jean and everyone else waving at us and screaming our names.

_ -”(Y/n)! We’re so happy you’re back!” _ -Armin, was the first one to talk to me while I was still on the carriage, and he was the first to cry like a baby -” _ We thought you were no longer alive”. _

_ -”Oh Armin, I also thought I would die” _

_ -”Hey Reiner! you’re strong, help me carry (Y/n)” - _ said Hange giving Mike, her and my stuff and calling for the strongest man around. With all the delicacy of this world, Reiner carried me bridal style, being careful of pressing my right leg too hard, that was my bad leg, already purple with the internal thing with the muscle. My superiors could disperse the people by saying that I needed to rest, and that later in the night we could all talk for awhile in my room. Magic words, they did as they said, and on my way to the entrance of the castle, we, I encounter Levi.

As usual, the short man had an annoyed face; Reiner stopped and saluted his Captain and waited for me to do the same, which I didn’t.

_ -”Seems like the training paid off after all, brat” _ \- I limited myself to just see him  _ -”Once you’re good you won’t be able to avoid your cleaning duties” _

_ -”I see. So that’s all you have to say” - _ I said. He wasn’t expecting that reaction and I had no time for his stupid comments about cleaning duties - _ ”Let’s go Reiner _ ”.

My friend took four steps, passing Levi, when we could see the other tall blond man standing near the stairs, Reiner saluted him as well I just bowed at him with my head as I could manage. He said nothing, he had a neutral face, so because there was no signal of him doing something, Reiner and I left them there, both of them. 

 

>>>>>>>>>>

 

I’ve been having trouble sleeping. The nights are true hell for me thanks to the pain; sometimes, even breathing gets heavy and hard to do.

I arrived the headquarters three days ago, the morning I came, the nurse checked me and made an exact diagnose -not like the other stupid doctor- participating me about the tearing up of the thigh muscle, three rib fractures which one is pressing one of my lungs, fissure in my left wrist joint and finally a little contusion in the head, that is not a big deal in reality.

 

With Hange I’ve been talking about the whole messy smell discovery I made, and another idea I got when we fought when we had to fight those titans the last time. I wanted to make one sample bottle, perfectionating the result of the one I created, and a sample of a drug, using the knowledge I gathered from Madame’s Sorine house. She wasn’t sure why I wanted to be a drug-maker now, but I needed to test it first and approval from Erwin to start working on that as soon as I can.

Hange and Mike had turns to watch over me, and at night they would come together -just once they came with the other guys, Eren and company -,to make me company while eating and filling the report papers about my week. That night we were too immersed into a conversation where I made fun of my own traumatic experience, we were laughing hard, so hard my rib were kind of killing me a bit.

_ -”Excuse me, sorry for the interruption” _ \- Erwin said knocking the door, followed by Levi. During these days they would pass by once a day, on their own, to collect or to give documents to Hange or Mike, who were in my room most of the time.  We would not exchange words besides the formal “Hello” and “Goodbye” and their visit would take less than five minutes. I’ve been ignoring them for their lack of touch and apology about the matter, therefore, tonight was no exception - _ ”I see you’re having a good time” - _ He said looking at me. I avoided his gaze and Levi’s who gave his signature ‘ _ Tsk _ ’, and turned to give my attention to Mike.

 

- _ ”Erwin! I got (Y/n)’s report almost done, and something else that I have to talk to you some other time. And here you have the paperwork that you asked yesterday” _ -The woman reported. Mike and I were still talking in whispers about the story I was saying - _ ”Hey, I want to hear the story too, is not fair!” _

- _ ”I appreciate your hard work, but I will ask tonight to take it yourself to my office. Same with your documents Mike, Me and Levi would like to speak to (Y/n) in private, if you don’t mind _ ” -I shut my mouth in surprise and looked around to the team leaders who exchanged eye contact and agreed with the Commander. So bad my leg is bad, I can’t run away.

The couple said their farewells and that they would come later to bring the new painkiller Hange was going to made with some ideas she got from me, and left the room leaving us three in an awkward silence.

 

_ -”I found proper to begin this meeting asking ‘how are you feeling?’ _ ” -The Commander broke the silence, right next to the Captain who was listening and waited for his turn to speak.I put my best plain face with a little smile curious of what they were going to say, specially after three days of being in and out of my room at least once a day -in which they never mentioned their desire to talk about the matter-, it all was nonsensical to me. With that in mind I turn to see Levi who was just looking at me but not really, waiting for him to add something.

When he realized my intentions he opened his mouth to say something like  _ “What the fuck do you want me to say? _ ”, he’s one of those who sucks things like this and his face says it all. That was enough for me.

_ -”Do any of you know exactly how injured I am?” - _ I asked.

- _ ”I read the nurse’s report saying you have injuries in your leg, ribs, back and head. The last two are not severe _ ” -Smith answered.

_ -”I see. You know, I was talking about funny things with Mike and Hange and it was so hilarious that made me laugh. But the problem is that one of my broken ribs is actually pressing one of my lungs and makes it hard for me to breath, even now that I’m talking to you. I’m sure the nurse wrote that on the report you saw...three days ago, and I’m wondering how come you’re asking me today how I’m feeling” _ -They were a bit ashamed

- _ ”Yes, that’s…” _

_ -”I feel like shit, that’s how I feel, even when you may think I’m better than others who lost a limb. But above all I’m grateful that I’m alive, spending a week out there changes the way you see things, you know? I was sure you couldn’t go back on a mission for me, that’s obvious, and I don’t resent you for that, or the fact that you didn’t do the obligatory roll call, I suppose that can happen. But...you cut me off even before I could explain myself about why I detonate those bombs, you made me the bad one without listening to my side of the story. Commander, or you Mr. Ackerman, do you know why I did it?” _

_ -”No, we don’t” - _ they replied at the same time.

_ -”Was still a reckless move brat” _ -Levi added without thinking and regretting it immediately.

_-”You shut up cocky idiot, you had your chances to talk and messed up big time. I’m speaking now”-_ Just how dared he? I couldn’t believe any of them _-”There are more than stupid and aberrant titans out there. There’s even the possibility of titans being controlled by humans or some weird shit like that. But at that time, there were more than 15 people in danger because some titans decided to ambush them, they actually did it and they had no chance, out groups were being targeted too and we had not much people, the casualties were going to be huge. More than the ones I created. You asked me about taking responsibility if anyone died, yes I would have take it; is better to know you killed 2 or three people instead of 17. I don’t think it was reckless at all”_

 

Having finished my speech and took out that out of my chest Smith looked at the floor finding the right words.

_ -”I wasn’t aware of that. (Y/n), I sincerely apologize for the rough words I said to you, and my incompetence for not looking after you when I said I would. I...hope you can forgive us and we are also grateful you’re alive and well besides your injuries” - _ Some seconds after Smith talked Levi took a step forward with his arms folded on his chest.

_ -”I suck at these things, but for my part, I’m...sorry, and I know I fucked up telling that you could ‘kill me’” _ -He paused  _ -”As Erwin said, is good that you’re back and even you can hate me if you want, whatever” _

_ -”I’m sure you two must have felt so bad and regretful thinking that your last words were ‘rough’, this past week, with no chance to take them back”- _ I cut them off before letting them speak again - _ ”I accept your apologies, now I’m really tired and need to take my medicine, so  if you excuse me...I rather be alone” _

_ -”I understand. We’ll let you rest, have a good night (Y/n)” _

_ -”Same” - _ They left as they came and the night passed slowly.

 

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

 

I could stand up two days after Erwin and Levi came. It wasn’t and nice as I the nurse told me, instead the pain the side where the ribs were, was almost unbearable. My leg was healing and I needed to walk with crutches, mandatory every three hours, at least half and hour. 

I knew I was in pain, and was common knowledge around the Survey Corps but people could be really annoying trying to help, they would anything but help. A couple of times the good intention of people would make me fall or slip and Mike or Reiner -my two prince charmings- would come to the rescue and carry me bridal style. I was liking that too much, I wanted to fall on purpose at least once to get that special attention and feel like a princess...what a spoiled brat I am. 

As spoiled as behaving like a little girl when Erwin was around and wanted to help and I refused to make him suffer a bit after we spoke, but that’s half of the reason, I really wanted to get use to this on my own and not depend so much on the others. I needed to exercise and get well to get back to the trainings and classes with everyone else, and to finish my report on the second Idea I told Hange. Levi was also in my ‘suffering’ list. He would just walk near me or sometimes stand in the middle of the hallway to ask me if I needed something, so he could do it, and I also refused, that made him angry tho. 

 

After two more days of walking around -having improved my breathing range -and encounter them regularly, I just had to say ‘no’ every time I would see them come near me and I would go away or they would. At that level I decided I would give them the silent treatment until I was healthier and I wasn’t out of breath each time I spoke. 

 

_ -”Hey (Y/n), I got you this so you can sleep better and ease your pains, as you told me I found the flowers and made this bottle” _ -I was getting ready to sleep and took the medicine the nurse told me - _ ”You will have to wait some hours before taking this. If you have one of those pain attacks in the middle of the night, take some, I know it works like magic”  _ -On a glass of water I had on a table on the right of my bed, she poured a little bit of the white liquid, puppy milk.

_ -”How do you know it works?” _

_ -”Oh, I poured a little in a jar a while ago and now everyone is sleeping. But I wasn’t sure if that was the effect of the medicine so I tried with Mike and now he’s knocked out” _

_ -”Poor man” - _ That way she left it there, and I tried to sleep.

  
  


I had one of those pain attacks that woke me up at 3am in the morning. 

The pain was worst than other nights and to move one inch caused me little painful electricity shocks all over my body. My breathing was not that good either, it was too fast and I tried to control it, but the hell my body was feeling, that was impossible. 

 

I remembered the glass Hange left in the table, it was so near but so freaking far at the same time for someone who can barely move. I tried to move to the edge to the bed first to be more near and extended one of my arms to get it, but I couldn’t. I was already sweating and shaking, I was getting desperate, I needed that medicine.

I tried again and , oh man, I was so close when my hands and legs were getting stiff, my breathing was more irregular and I felt like I would faint.  _ ‘Get your shit together (Y/n), you’re so close’,  _ I repeated in my head and tried to say out loud with the string of voice I had. I was so close, I leaned an inch every time and then I pulled the glass closer, or that I thought until it fell and crashed on the floor together with me. Trying to cushion the fall I used my arm, and that hit the broken rib that was pushing my lung...now, I couldn’t breath, at all.

 

I could see, faintly, how my hands curled and I couldn’t feel my legs, I wanted to scream but my desperation to get air just let me give weak hit to the wooden floor.  _ ‘Help me’ _ I tried to say. ‘ _ Someone help me _ ’. Tears were falling off my eyes too while I crawled as I could to the door of my room, still hitting the floor, hoping everyone would hear...but who would at that time? Who? I saw black, there.

 

_ Knock Knock _

 

_ -”Are you awake brat?” _

I heard, but I had no strength for anything anymore…

‘ _ I thought I heard something break _ ’ I heard him say to himself at the other side of the door.There was silence for long seconds and I tried to hit the floor once more and wasn’t after an eternity for me, that I heard the door open. 

 

- _ ”Fuck! (Y/n), what happened? Can you hear me!?” _ -He yelled and grabbed me in his arms when he saw my terrible state lying on the floor, patting my face to awake me -” _ Stay with me brat! Focus!” _

_ -”I...can’t...breathe...” - _ I said like a whisper

_ -”You can’t?...you can’t breathe...shit…”  _ -The Captain was figuring out what to do, Levi have never had an emergency, where in his hand were the live of a person - _ ”It won’t help much but I guess I have to try to give air to your lungs somehow while I figure out what to do” _

Levi placed me on the floor and he kneeled by my side completely, taking off his jacket that was restricting his moves, he saw me for a second raising his arms just a bit and thinking…- _ ”Fuck it, hate me or kick me later if you want” _ \- Levi grabbed and opened my mouth firmly and started to give me mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. I could feel a little of air filling my chest and my head being more clear, but wasn’t enough, was too weak still. He tried it for a minute and stopped to ask me - _ ”Just nod if I’m right. Is it your rib? The one pressing you lung?”  _ -I nod and he lifted my tshirt a bit to take a look at the huge purple and red bruise I had, a little bump could be seen. _ -”Listen to me, I will put that rib where it was and it will hurt like a fucking hell. I’ll give you more air and I’ll press it ok?” - _ He commanded  _ -”I won’t let you die twice” _ \- There was so much conviction mixed with fear in his eyes, I could barely see him, but his voice said it all, I probably nod, I was too concentrated in the pain I didn’t care about anything else.

 

He gave me mouth-to-mouth resuscitation once more and once he stopped again he grabbed my hand and made me grab his arm - _ ”Grab my arm fucking tightly, at the count of three. One, two…”- _ And the rib was back to its place. My scream was silent, my eyes widened with my hand using supernatural strength to cope with the feeling. I could breathe again, even though wasn’t normalized, it was better.

The man breathed in relief and brushed the sweat out of his face with his free hand, I finally freed him and touched my chest also making sure I was not dead.

_ -”I need to go get Hange, I’ll be back” - _ Fear took over me again, I cried, my hands were cold and still a bit stiff but as I could I grabbed his arm again.

_ -”Don’t leave me...please…please” - _ He doubted, Levi needed to get someone who really could look over me, he was the last person to act as a doctor, but he couldn’t go, I needed someone with me right now just in case…- _ ”That bottle… _ ”- I said, pointing over my head to the table, the raven haired man saw and asked me if that was the medicine I needed, he knew then, watching the pieces of glass spread everywhere, that I ended up like that because I tried to take it but I fall off the bed and injured myself. 

_ -”Let me get a glass of water then, you need to drink this” _ -He left running and came back a while after with what he said. He helped me sit and drink the liquid.

  
We just stayed there. Levi holding me and giving me corporal warmth, until I fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it??  
> Please share, give kudos, support, commet and whatever you want. That helps me a lot. 
> 
> Then, till next time folks


	14. Intentions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for some free time out in the city!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I would write this quite fast and who amI kidding?   
> Well, at least is here, I just finished, and I'm so happy with the result.  
> Hope you like it.  
> _____  
> Again, as always, sorry for my grammar and spelling mistakes. English is not my mother tongue and the autocorrect doesn't help.   
> I do not own Snk, but I own the story and the new weird charcters.

When I woke up, I felt like something was grabbing my legs and wasn’t allowing me to move to the other half of the bed. For a moment I thought it was a dream or that my body was still asleep so I was making up sensations...but no. Then I entered in a self conscious state, remembering that Levi saved my life last night, and he may be sleeping right next to me, I opened my eyes and just then I heard that low voice.

_ -”Oi brat, are you awake?” _ -He was standing up right next to my bed, following him, Smith placed himself beside him  _ -”How are you feeling? I was told about last night” _ -said the Commander...then…

Hange’s loud snore surprised us, she was happily sleeping hugging my arm and surrounding my legs with hers, the men looked at her and came back to me. - _ ”She was so surprised and concerned that she ended up sleeping in your bed (Y/n)”  _ -the blonde said again. The feeling of relief filled the room for a moment, I tried my best to sit with the help of the nurse, and freed myself from the scientific’s wrap.

I was still mad, not so much with Levi anymore because he saved my life, but not Erwin

- _ ”I’m probably better...breathing _ ” -I replied to both - _ ”Thank you Levi, I’m alive thanks to you” _

_ -”Anyways, just don’t almost-die again, will you?” - _ He said while walking away to the door - _ ”I’m done here. I’ll sleep for an hour, don’t bother me _ ”.

Left alone with the sleeping beauty and Erwin, the environment turned cold, I has nothing to say and I was still not in good terms with him. The nurse gave us glances, feeling that she could get a cut from my sharp silence, I could see her. We stayed like that a couple of minutes,  with the Commander looking out of the window and looking at my direction when the nurse was near checking on me. Once she finished, he decided to go too.

_ -”Well. I better leave, I have paperwork to do. I’m glad you’re safe (Y/n), you’ve gone through a lot” _ -He said calmly - _ ”Please rest, I’ll come back tonight” _

_ -”Is not needed, Hange and Mike will surely...” _

_ -”Still, you’re still my responsibility. See you tonight”-  _ He cut me off left the room. I sighed in disbelief. I rolled my eyes and tried to sit more comfortably, still in pain, but then I started to hear a creepy laugh; obviously was Hange, I turned to see her looking at me in a weird way.

_ -”Why are you looking me like that Hange?” _

_ -”I see what you’re doing” _

_ -”What are you talking...abo?” _

_ -”Nothing” - _ She smiled as creepy as before for no reason and stood up yawning  _ -”I’m out, be sure to eat and rest a lot. I’ll tell Mike to pass by every three hours...and, I’ll be here at five to help you with your exercises” _

_ -”Ugh…”  _ -She laughed at me. Is not that I didn’t want her to come, I just didn’t wanted to exercise. At the end it became normal and the daily thing. I would sleep with Hange, sometimes Mike stayed like a vampire in the dark corner,  work on papers with my fellow scientist through the day with the visits of the couple and then at night Levi and Erwin would come to make a reunion and update with other team leaders about what I’ve been working and discovered. It was like that until I could stand up properly for long periods of time and walk without any help, this came with a new routine. Now, Hange would nag at me every morning because she was accustomed to sleep in my bed, and Mike would check if I took the antibiotics, sometimes he would make me go blindfolded around the hall so  _ “I wouldn’t lose practice _ ” he said every time. 

When walking up or down the stairs, my biggest challenge, I would often see Levi near or passing me by...is not coincidence, he would never ask if I need help, in that matter he would demand someone to lift me up before I cause an accident by walking so slowly. Smith is the one who would try to help, and our encounters would be rather awkward, that’s why he was avoiding doing that because of the guilt he still had. I would also eat near the team leaders table and give a plain report of my well-being every three days to the Commander. 

_ -”You can’t go to training yet, you need complete rest (Y/n)”  _ -said Erwin.

_ -”I won’t participate! Even if I do, I won’t die...don’t get overprotective now. I’m just tired of being in my damn room all day long ” _

_ -”At least let me amend my mistake by concerning about you now, is justified. For what I’ve been able to witness and know, you like to go against the rules. That’s why my answer is ‘no’”  _ -He put down his papers to give me all his attention

_ -”Great, what do you expect me to do for the next two weeks, then?”  _

_ -”Why don’t you start doing the trials of your experiments with Hange? You don’t have to move too much for that” _

_ -”...Fine”  _ -That was my lazy answer after thinking about it for a whole minute, I doubted. It was the second week I’ve been able to go on my own, and I admit  I’ve been watching training from afar and following it myself in my room...why did it sound like Erwin was sure I was doing so?. But on the other hand, for me, it seemed, felt like there was something else but he won’t say it to me, I was left with this light suspense in the air - _ ”I’m going _ ”

_ -”Be careful” _

_ -”Oh my, stop it…” _

 

_ >>>>>>>>>>> _

 

I’ve been working full time with Hange at the lab trying to find an artificial animal-blood smell, for our experiment. And besides, another theory of mine that I had to test it, was about drugging the titans, so we could turn off their ability to move completely, and move them without having casualties. I was still analyzing that, because it wasn’t definite or possible, yet, though the Commander seemed really interested on the result of that; not need to say that it was because my partner talks casually about everything I do and say, to him. Why they had to be so close? There’s no privacy anymore, I wonder if she also says the kind of underwear I use. I don’t know how I still can look at him in the eyes. 

 

Through a whole week I’ve been writing regular reports to Erwin who always replied back with a paper expressing his thoughts and questions in order to make me improve the experiment. All this time, we were experimenting my product on the titans the Survey Corps caught, but it was not enough. Linda and Mouly (names given by mother Hange) were tied down, so the results weren’t exact, besides, they were starting to not give any reactions to anything, and that wasn’t good. That’s why I needed a change after having an almost-perfect-formula, a real trial with real titans.

 

_ -”Absolutely not” _

_ -”Now, why?” _

_ -”You are in no condition to go outside the wall. All team leaders and myself are considering leaving you here on the next mission, not just because of your safety, but because of the incident with the bombs” _

_ -”Is that still a concern? I thought I explained myself more than once” - _ I did. I made sure to talk about the incident and deliver my apologies to all of those who were inured because of me. From everyone’s response I thought everything was settled. But because of that, I’m out?

_ -”Yes. I was told, some are not comfortable with your experiments, they wish to have some guarantee that no one will be harmed. In any case, time will fix that, meanwhile I have to choose what’s best for the Survey Corps” _ _   
_ _ -”Oh, of course, I can kill anyone at any moment. Then, tell me, how I can develop something you insisted on doing, if I can’t try it on real situations?” _

_ -”We will do it for you. Hange should know how” _

_ -”I’m not doubting Hange, but I can’t agree to that. This is MY work and is ME who will do the testing” _ -It was late and I made my last stop into Smith’s office to give my last report before weekend. The excitement I had to finally prove my formula was perfect, rapidly vanished after receiving the first answer to my request and the following explanation. He didn’t even give it a thought nor lifted his eyes from the damn letter he was writing.

- _ ”You are not fully recovered (Y/n). The doctor said that if you receive a hit now on your chest, your ribs will completely break and the internal hemorrhage would not be controllable...we know it will not end with another respiratory failure”    _

_ -”Why would I get hit? I just need 15 minutes or less to prove my point and go back. In case of danger I can just withdraw from the mission and it’s a win win situation, no one have to deal with me any longer” _

_ -”Can you really withdraw?” - _ He  knew...I knew that would never happen, I was too stubborn and I don’t have fucks to give about others. My silence was louder than anything but somehow that was not my complete answer.

- _ ”My will to live is stronger. I will not proceed with a plan that will end up in my death” - _ He intertwined his fingers and let out a whispering ‘ _ I see _ ’.

- _ ”I understand, but my answer is still no. We will wait until you’re healthy and to everyone to calm down ; meaning that you will not be part of the next mission outside the walls. If you insist on carrying the experiment as soon as possible, hand the instructions to Hange, or even me. This is my offer” _

I was not happy. This is not what I expected. The Commander himself should put order and end any unnecessary misunderstanding among soldiers; in the end, this is it. Since I came here, I  haven’t had a smooth situation, every single time something happens, what else I need to do? stupid soldiers. 

- _ ”Whatever. I will halt my investigation until whenever you decide I’m healthy enough. For now, I’ll keep my last report. This is my answer to you offer, Sir” _

_ -”Fair enough, I suppose. Don’t take people’s attitude wholeheartedly, they’re tired” - _ He said trying to give a word of consolation.

- _ ”If this is all, I’ll leave. Good night Sir” - _ He answered me back and I was already opening the door to exit. Staying in front of the door I closed my eyes and sighed before facing Mike, who was right next to the door, waiting to talk to Erwin. He didn’t say anything, he probably heard the conversation and there was nothing he could do. Before going his way, he patted my head and messed up my hair.

 

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

 

Saturday came with the news that all soldiers had the weekend free to do anything and we could even go out to the city. Almost everyone wanted to spend their day shopping or visiting their families or friends, while I wanted to go around maybe looking for new substances for my lab collection in the headquarters. Team leaders were also taking their day off, except for Levi, who thought it was a perfect day for cleaning with no “stupid brats”around. That’s sad. 

I just know that I took the only dress I had, one of those Madame Sorine gave me, quite revealing by the way, a little pouch and left. 

_ “It would be a good idea if I bought another dress...a decent one” _ -I thought after an hour of walking around the heart of Trost, there was no soul who hasn’t turn to see my cleavage or legs, besides the catcalling from drunk men outside some bars. Either way, I still did what I wanted to do, I found some amazing samples of dried mushrooms, a rare toxic dust, acid, water and oils from different rare plants and so on , and before my bad luck kicked in, I took all of that to the headquarters again. I made sure to not be seen by anyone who could be around, taking the chance to grab a piece of fabric to use it as a chal so my look wouldn’t be so slutty.

 

When the night started to come, I was around a bakery when a group approached me, Reiner and Jean planned a night at a local bar with the rest (Armin, Eren, Mikasa, Krista, Ymir, Connie and Sasha) and found me just in time to tag along. 

_ -”Girls will need to improve their game because (Y/n) is nailing it with that dress” - _ Said Reiner after taking a good look at how short my dress was. We laugh and the girls mocked the boy for the comment. We found the place we wanted and sat down to order a round of beer and fries with bread. The hours passed quickly and we all started sharing stories and laughing about the stupid fights Jean and Eren had. It was about 11pm when we were all drunk...completely drunk, and we remembered the curfew at this exact hour, Levi made sure we knew about it. Typical youngster, we could not care less.

Mikasa is not a drinking person, but after six beets, the fact that Eren was still fighting with jean about how they used the bathroom, don’t ask, instead of declaring his love for her; like a normal man under alcohol, now, that was depressing. 

Ymir and Krista were getting lovey-dovey with Reiner getting heartbroken; Sasha just passed out with Armin and Connie was still up talking random things about his home with Mikasa.

 

_ -”You fucking retards! Didn’t I told you your curfew was at 11pm?” _ -Someone broke in the place screaming at us. We looked at that mad Levi and started laughing hysterically, even Sasha and Armin joined us. He got more mad and grabbed two of us from the collar and dragged them out the bar, you could hear the yelling - _ ”Move your asses to the headquarters! All of you will get fucking punished _ !” 

I stood up on my own, my dress was the reason Levi didn’t even did a thing to me, not because I was looking sexy as hell, but because he was trying to understand where I got it in first place. - _ ”Is this the only thing you could wear? Are you serious?” _ -Levi asked me when everyone was kicked out and there was me leaving the money where the waiter could see (people just threw the money at me when they were being dragged, first time I saw money raining)

_ -”Why? Are you jealous you don’t have one?” - _ I asked walking out of the place modeling my dress to him.

_ -”The fuck I would be jealous? The view is pitiful, idiot” _

_ -”Thanks god, I don’t like competition and you’re not that pretty...not even that handsome” _

_ -”Shut the fuck up and walk faster. What a bother to be doing as babysitter now” - _ I wasn’t thinking straight (nor walking),and the alcohol was being effective in this moment, all I could think was in stupid shit and I have to listen to his nagging all the way back. - _ ”Are you even allowed to drink?” _

_ -”What? _ ” -Don’t tell me that he will become freaking Erwin now.

_ -”The doctor didn’t say you couldn’t consume alcohol in like three months?” _ -he asked with his arms folded in his chest -” _ Do you want to die?” _

_ -”Why you always act like you have a stick in your ass? - _ I don’t know if I modulated correctly, my tongue was getting sleepy and my vision blurry. He probably got the message. - _ ”Don’t tell me you like those things _ ”

- _ ”I will knock you out if you keep saying shit” _

_ -”He’s mad _ ” -I said out loud to myself, trying to compose my walking - _ ”Do you have a secret boyfriend? Do you like...who...Erwin?” - _ He was walking behind me and I kept stopping to turn and ask him things making him more annoyed

_ -”I will give you one more warning brat, stop it”  _ -If a look could kill, I would be dead long ago.

_ -”Are you….a giver or a receiver?” _ -That was the tip of the ice cream for me and my pass to hell. The Captain was so angry that he started walking at me with intentions of hitting me, I wasn’t sure of my fighting skill while being drunk, but I waited for the best.

Levi aimed to my stomach, and I managed to avoid the hit but fell like an idiot, on the ground I kicked his legs and made him fall. Instantly he stood up and lift me grabbing my arms and he started yelling something and with one of his techniques I was put to the ground and lifted me again.(he kind of forgot I should not be hit, same as me. Shame on me, this is why I’m excluded from expeditions. 

_-”You like it rough? Damn, so much work”_ -I managed to say under the pain I now had, but my brain didn’t recognized yet. He shook me and wanted to give me a hit again when my expression changed, I was serious, dead serious. - _”Levi...let me go or you will end up hurt”_

_ -”Do you think I will believe you? You already deserve a punishment for….” - _ He stopped when he felt my hands on his shoulders and my face really near his. I was looking into his soul.

- _ ”You will regret it…”-  _ I whispered with the new hiccup I had. He didn’t understood or his sense for underestimating people was too high, he stayed just there grabbing me even harder.

-”I won’t be fooled by a mere kiss” -He didn’t understood...he go it all wrong and it was too late. Just when he started talking again the wave came  and all went momentary black for me while I throwed up everything on top of him. I felt like heaven afterwards, I was the only one. 

 

The scream of disgust probably was heard in the headquarters, because we were kind of near, in the forest, he literally pushed me away and looked at the mess I made of his clothes. At that moment if I were on my right senses I would have learned all the curse french dictionary in a minute, I barely understood one word, it was funny. Levi was so shocked he started walking almost running away and that was the last time I saw him that day. I layed back and looked at the starry sky, I didn’t mind sleeping there.

 

Probably twenty minutes passed, I throwed up another time in that lapse and went back to my position in the middle of the road. I was dizzy and my body started aching for the hit, I felt my ribs with my hand and pressed a bit and yeah, it hurt. I was not conscious about my attire either, but I have to say that the dress was slightly lifted, the fabric I had disappeared and my cleavage was on point. I could swear I looked like a sexy bomb.

_ -”Are you comfortable there, soldier?” _ -I heard when a shadow covered my face, and I got angry because it was suddenly dark. I pouted thinking it showed my rage... 

_ -”Now what? Are you going to fight with me too, freaking giant? _ ” -I lifted my fists and threw a few punches to the air. I was still drunk as fuck. - _ ”Come at me, blondie!” _

_ -”Levi told me you were here, can you stand up?” _ -He asked

_ -”Levi? Isn’t that your boyfriend? I don’t want to get into somebody else's business but you can do better” _

_ -”You think? Like who?” _

_ -”The hell I’ll know. But you can start looking for someone your own size...well depending on what kind of size you’re looking for” _ -I was dead serious saying that, and then starting laughing at me own pun, rolling to find a way to stand up. Erwin ended up helping me but couldn't stay still without almost falling, he grabbed my arm and told me to hold onto him so I could stay balanced. The pain in the side of the ribs became harder, I made it obvious and the man got alarmed.

- _ ”Are you in pain?” _

_ -”This is your boyfriend’s fault, the stupid even ran away”  _ -Smith understood then the sequence of events, from when he saw Levi completely out of himself angry, screaming and telling him to go get me because if not he would finally hurt me; and then, me, trying to fight him too, when he arrived where I was. _ -”See? this is why you people leave me out of the expeditions and I can’t make my stupid experiment...fuck everything” - _ I told him pointing at my side where the pain was. But in the moment my dress made him look somewhere else first, inevitable. 

_ -”...I... apologize for that (Y/n), your security is my priority” - _ He looked away, blushing a bit.

_ -”Of course this beauty is your priority, I’m even famous now, you know?...so be careful dude...I’m a tough woman” _

_ -”I know that” - _ So he carried me bridal style and my mind was blown away, I felt like flying and like a natural behaviour I made myself comfortable, surrounding his neck with my arms  _ -”Seems like you need help to walk to your room” - _ All this time we stood up in the same spot, and it was getting more late. He started walking and I just stared at him with my drunk face, every now and then he locked eyes with me and gave me little smiles.

_ -”You know what?” _ -I asked

_ -”What?” _

_ -”You have such beautiful eyes. Since I saw you I always liked your blue eyes” - _ I got closer to him just to see his eyes better. He let me be, enjoying the weird conversation he would never have with my sober self.

- _ ”Thank you, (Y/n)” _

- _ ”Your parents did a good job on making you, to get those eyes...I want to know the secret” - _ The comment made Erwin stop in the entrance of the headquarters and turned to look at me, an “innocent girl”. - _ ”I’m sure you know the secret, Commander _ ”.

He suppressed the laugh and entered the place, taking me to my room. He put me on my bed and looked out for the painkillers the doctor gave me; I looked around and tried to fix my hair somehow, making one sleeve fall on the side, leaving it naked because I had no bra (No boob was released to the nature). Smith faced me and looked at the picture, containing his breath and with the most care he tried to fix my dress, hoping that I wouldn’t kick him in the face, and quickly gave me the painkiller. I was too sleepy and already out of myself when the door opened and Mike appeared looking at the compromising scene. 

-”Is not what it seems” -Said Erwin

Mike walked in and gave Smith a dry “Hmm”, making his superior move, and himself covered me with a blanket. Both looked at each other before leaving the room and again faced each other.

_ -”Be careful Erwin. She’s had enough” _ -Mike said, before leaving his friend in the hallway.

 

>>>>>>>>>>

 

_ -”Erwin!!! A letter came from Sina! _ ” -Hange screamed opening the Commander’s door - _ ”It even has a royal seal”  _ -The man took the letter and opened, he waited a second before open it and read as followed:

 

_ “Commander of The Survey Corps, Erwin Smith, _

_ I’m sure you may wonder how a busy person like me, can write a letter, personally to your person. I have knowledge that some weeks ago, a soldier of your squad was left outside the walls, and like a miracle, she found her way back. The most curious thing of all, is the fact that I came to hear about this from rumors in the court, and me, had to ask for details to the other Commanders and The Commander in Chief Zackly,; that’s not really pleasant, I thought those kinds of reports needed to be addressed directly to me. In addition to that, I’ve also read the reports your heroine soldier have made about some ‘solutions’ and some ‘hypothesis’, you can guess then, that we are all interested in such information. Therefore, I, in the name of the King, extend an invitation to the lady soldier, yourself and Captain Ackerman to present yourself, with all the information, in front of the His Majesty. He himself, expect you tuesday morning in the main castle, in which also a party will be held in her name. _

_ In the name of the court of Wall Sina, we hope to see you soon, _

 

_ Reginald Marquis, _

_ Hand of the King”   _

 

_ -”So, what does it say?” -Hange asked again. _

_ -”The King have heard about (Y/n). Call her and Levi, please” _

_ -”The King?? Isn’t that good?” _ _   
_ _ -”It depends. Depends on his intentions” - _ Hange understood, it was true. The visit to the King could be as good as dangerous, because (Y/n) was a symbol and a thinking brain that could be now used.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, trip to the capital! that will be an interesting chapter for sure. I promise.
> 
> Well, see ya later!


	15. The Bet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trip to Wall Sina, was not what anyone expected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I reward people for my tardiness. I know I have weeks without updating, SO, here I wrote a super long and intense chapter, just for your (and my) enjoyment.  
> I'm not even sure anymore if makes sense, I think it does, I spent two days writing the firsts three pages (in word) trying to make everything clear. 
> 
> Anyways, finally here, done. Excuse my grammar mistakes or spelling mistakes.  
> I was too excited writing this, I didn't care

Mike and Hange were filling my suitcase with what they thought it was going to be useful, painkillers, a knife, a towel, a ring with pointy spikes, a sweater, a weapon hairpin...my master was the one in charge of giving me materials for self defense. Like a father to a daughter, Mike and I actually had a serious talk the night before, regarding this trip and finally today he just kept telling me, in a jokingly mode, what to do in certain situations and how “men could behave”, he was not only referring to the men in Sina...that was clear. Hange, on the other hand, told me the opposite; to enjoy the party and the dances...to bring a man for her and if I could, to buy a dress also. The woman was kind enough, to give me one of hers, plus a bit of makeup; a bit old and not sure if it fitted me, but her intention was enough for me. Mike stayed by my side all the time to see if I was ok and if I needed anything before going, when time came, he patted my head _“Always have your chin up with honor, kiddo_ ”, he said before going back to his office. I said my goodbyes to everyone, and saw the Headquarters in a nostalgic way before parting...I made sure to take that mental picture. That’s how our trip to Wall Sina started.

 

 _-”Did you bring all your documents?”_ -Asked the Commander looking at me reading through a bunch of papers in a side of the carriage. Levi made sure to sit next to Erwin, near the window, far from me. So stupid, he was just mad because I throw up all over him (that’s what he told me, I don’t remember a thing).

- _”I guess I did. I really couldn’t sleep yesterday thinking in all kind of stuff and writing all my ideas down. I even thought of finishing the last report without the trial, I can almost swear it works”_

_-”Tsk, if you ask me, you should keep that to yourself. No one cares about the rest”_

_-”Well, I didn’t ask for you opinion”_

_-”You fucking woman...”_

_-”Levi...let’s have a pleasant trip, please. (Y/n), it is true, is best if you stick to what’s written in the reports and leave the rest unknown”_

_-”Let’s see what happens...” -_ I sighed and turned my face down.

- _”Can you at least pretend that you will do as we say?”_

 _-”Sorry”_ -I packed the papers in my bag and looked at the man - _”I’m too honest for my own good sometimes”_

 _-”Yes, I’m aware of that”_ -He gave me a ‘say something we all don’t know’, quite annoying to be frank, but I didn’t mind, my head was full with other ideas and concerns. I was part of the little conversations that were created along the trip, some of them about the soldiers and their performances, some others about new plans for future missions, including the one next week. I know I’m excluded from that one, since my body still aches, there’s nothing I can do, and for the first time I didn’t argue about it.

 

We parted today, monday at afternoon so we could arrive Sina at dawn where Lord Marquis were waiting in front of the residence we were staying. Sina was and wasn’t like I imagined, a more refined place, with ladies in gowns and men in suits, yes; but with the refinement came the tense and weird treatment from all of those we came across. It was not because we were soldiers from Trost, it was me. A young woman doing things a grown up man should, having a word with the King about work, being independent and having an opinion; and two strong men who were perfectly fine about it. That’s what they saw, and it was disgusting for some odd reason.

 

It was a big victorian house run by a rich family located in the main area of Sina, near the castle, their business was to open their empty rooms to special guests of the King of court members. The lady of the house welcomed us in a gentle manner, and she said one room with two beds in the second floor was for Erwin and Levi, and a special one for me in the third; the valet took our bags and proceeded to guide us to our rooms with some other maids, while Lord Marquis waited for us at the living room. When I got to the room I finally appreciated the decoration of the place, antique, like some period I once read in a book of a french king. It was stunningly beautiful and luxurious. I had more than enough space, even my own mini living room and a terrace.

 

I opened my luggage, but I just stared at it….should I change or stay with the uniform? Would Levi and Erwin change for a dinner? It probably look stupid if I go to the room just to ask that. Shit, I don’t know...I guess, to make things simple and honorable for my comrades, I’ll stay with the uniform. After fixing my hair and washing my face I went down  to meet my two bosses.

 

 _-”The fuck? You didn’t bring clothes or what?”_ -I maintained my smiling and embarrassed face while Levi whispered me that, looking at me from head to toe. They changed...they were in semi formal attires, and there’s me. Erwin was as confused as Levi, but his conversation with the Hand of the King was more interesting. The lady of the house was waitin for the food to be ready to call us into the dining room, meanwhile, we were exchanging polite first ideas in a waiting room - _”Don’t tell me tomorrow with the King, you will decide to disguise yourself as a monkey” -_ He wasn’t going to leave me alone for the rest of the visit.

 _-”Shut up, I didn’t know!”_ -I replied annoyed, in the same tone and smiling again to the other two men.

- _”Tsk. What will you wear for the party? Your famous drinking dress?”_ -I was so angry that without looking, I throwed him a flash punch, aiming to his side or leg. Seems like I measured really wrong and I hit somewhere else. Levi crossed his legs and contained the pain covering his face with a hand. - _”I fucking... hate you”_ -he said.

- _”It’s your own fault_ ” -I was shocked. That wasn’t what I wanted, but I couldn’t care less now, is his fault for talking too much shit. We were called for dinner and Levi was still pulling himself together.

 _-”Levi, are you alright?” -_ Erwin asked him.

 _-”I just have a headache”_ -The Captain, with a lot of delicacy, got up and started walking until he was near me again - _”Wait until we’re back to Trost...you’re done”_

 _-”Yeah, whatever” -_ Dinner was more quiet than expected. Considering that I was on the spotlight, with numerous questions, nothing great happened, I just answered what was necessary, being as polite as possible, as Erwin told me. Lord Reginald was surprisingly curious about my background and what I’ve done with my life until now, it was weird in some ways, he was nice, but distant at the same time. Anyways, I received help with the information of my past; Levi told the man I learned about chemistry since I was little and time later, when he died, and I alone, I decided to enter the Military as a scientist, to help people like Hange to investigate and everything else.  None of the information of Holtz or my cousin, Klein, was released.  

Once the dinner was over, the Lord asked for a private talk with Erwin about some other matters, leaving me and Levi alone on the dining room.

 

_-”Well, I’m going to the room. Are you going to sleep?”_

_-”No, is too early to go to sleep. I may go to the library or walk around for a while”_

_-”Do you have a  ghost complex?” -_ I tilt my head trying to understand _-”Let’s just go to the library to drink tea. I know for a fact anything can happen if you’re left alone”_

- _”Where you always this annoying?”_

 _-”Better get used to it, woman” -_ He left the room with me following him to the library. I was looking around mesmerized at the books and grabbing them to feel then. I love the smell of old books. After a while, my anxiousness was getting more noticeable, Levi could see it.

- _”Nervous?”_

 _-”I’m not even sure anymore. I’ve never talked to a King before” -_ He seemed calm seated on a leather sofa near a lamp, smelling the tea on his cup. -” _Is a bit overwhelming”_

_-”That means you’re excited and day dreaming like an idiot?”_

_-”Not at all, the complete opposite”_ -He asked why but I changed the subject to avoid answering more about the audience. Taking a deep breath and putting a forced smile in my face I sat in the sofa with him with my best social-skills and kept talking alone for five minutes straight when he cut me off.

- _”No matter what you think, you’re going to do well tomorrow. You may suck at hiding things, but...you get what I’m saying”_

_-”Oh...were you trying to ..’”_

_-”Just don’t make the King kill all of us”_

_-”...Nevermind” -_ Just when I thought he was being nice. I pouted to myself and turned to watch the chimney in silence for a second… _’Make the King kill all of us’,_ I thought about it for a second but I cut that thought. - _”By the way, you mentioned the party tomorrow night. Do you have a formal attire for that?”_

_-”I do”_

_-”Hmm good. I...Maybe I’ll have to buy shoes tomorrow afternoon to wear with Hange’s dress”_

_-”What? Did she lend you a dress?”_

_-”Yes, since I don’t have anything fancy to wear”_

_-”You must be kidding me. Tsk, well seems like you really wish to make an impression”_

_-”Why’s that?”_

_-”Hange’s dresses and damn hideous and YOU for that matter, will be the joke of the night”_

_-”Ah...I see….” -_ He laughed at his mental image while looking at me, completely expressionless. I wasn’t angry - _”Well, she just wanted to help...That’s that” -_ I got serious and a bit offended when I realized the situation, I could have been doing something more useful with my time now, I need it. I stood up and fixed my uniform to leave to my room, making the whole scene tense. Levi stopped his mental movie right then.

- _”Wait, don’t tell me you’re mad”_

_-”I’m not. I just want to  leave”_

_-”Oi oi, stop there_ ” -He grabbed my arm just when I was walking to the door. The Captain knew he went a little too far with the comment - _”You...you won’t answer me back? Why are you so serious?”_

_-”Nothing Levi, I’m tired of fighting with you today”_

_-”...Well then. Go to sleep idiot….” -_ He let go of me and looked down and then to the sides, my previous reply probably was the one that took him out of base. For once in his life, he saw what words can do to someone. With nothing left to say, I followed my way.

_-”Pf, I will”_

_-”Don’t mind about the stupid dress….I can buy you a new one tomorrow….You can’t be the only ugly one”_

_-”Seriously?...Goodnight Levi” -_ That was it then. I would have preferred better words, but I’m asking too much at this point. I saw him in disbelief before opening the library door, where right there, I run into Smith. - _”They told me you were here_ ” -He said with his usual calm tone, before looking at me, leaving the room in a rush saying a weak _‘Goodnight_ ’. I could hear, walking up the stairs one man asking to the other in a tired tone “ _What did you do now??_ ”, thing that made me stop for a second. _“Don’t fucking look at me, I did nothing_ ”. I hold a tiny laugh, and moved on.

 

<<<<<<<<<<<<<

 

We were waiting in front of the King’s door, with our uniforms impeccably ironed and and our heads high. We left the house early in the morning to go to the castle, a huge square construction in the middle of Sina. It seems like it’s close, but the appearances are tricky here; we actually needed to take a half and hour trip to get there, passing by half of the city, control spots and a bridge. It was a complete different world in the middle of a forest.

 

I was holding my carpet tightly, trying to control my shaking and repeating on my head the answers, like I practiced on my own in the bathroom since I was told I had to see the King;

 _-”You will do fine (Y/n)_ ”- Smith said.

- _”Promise me, none of you will speak a word no matter what”_

 _-”Wh..?”_ -Erwin tried to ask and Levi seemed already lost.

- _”Just promise!”_

 _-”Damn, we won’t”_ -The Captain said just in time, before it was time and the door finally opened with the voice of a guard saying our names.

 

The King’s room was a thing like nothing I’ve seen before. Like my room in the city, but ten times more luxurious and intricate, pretty lively, unlike the King himself. His Highness looked like a...bored man who has nothing to do. I wasn’t expecting that, and the rest of the court that was present in the room. Lord Marquis, hand of the King, had a seat right next to him and the the other side, was his Minister of Affairs; the eyes were on me entirely.

-” _Your Majesty, as you heard, this is the reason we’re having this special audience, Miss (Y/n) from the Survey Corps, is the famous and solely survivor of the outside world. She spent one week living around titans and came back to the walls, alive_ ” -The man spoke to the whole room, so everyone could hear. Surprise and chit chats could be heard - _”But that’s not all, she is a key to us, humanity, because she has found ways to fool those disgusting titans...please my lady, present yourself to your King_ ”

-” _Good morning your Majesty. I’m (Y/n)...(L/n), from the Survey Corps, right now working as a scientist with Team Leader Hange Zoe regarding the investigation of Titans and their behaviour”_ -I almost forgot my new last name. I can’t say is Holtz.

 

Erwin and Levi stayed in the back, I could not see them. I had to take some steps forward, as a part of the protocol. The man was leaned to one side, resting his cheek on the palm of his hand looking at me with no interest. -” _And tell me, why are you so special? Just because you lived out of luck and found what? something to fool titans?_ ” -He spoke, looking at me from head to toe, a commoner.

-” _I’m not the one calling myself ‘special’ Sir. But if something needs to be innovative, must be my work. I made a substance that hides the human scent and deceives the titan’s nose, making things easier for us, and to achieve the no-casualties status on our missions, while being surrounded by these beings_ ”

- _”Don’t you think is more useful to me, a weapon to kill titans effectively and quickly, instead of a stupid disgusting perfume that may make you, live a bit longer? You soldiers sure have time to spare to be playing this kind of things” -_ This man, for real…

 _-”I believe that investigations should be done progressively, is the only way. As far as I’m concerned, there has been no records on the titan’s behaviour or creation whatsoever; having that in mind, how do you expect anyone to create a thing to kill something we have no information about? We may create useless things with the money of the citizens. Your way of thinking is rather naive, Your Majesty”_ -A gasp could be heard, from every single soul on that room. I could almost hear Levi cursing under his breath. My statement made the Kind raise his head and fix his pose; he was being provoked.

- _”Naive? Naive is being so sure of what you’re saying when you have to final results or proof of your hypothesis; I’ve read your reports, and your superior’s reports...They make you look so important and so intelligent, stupid...but you have not even done the final trial. How can I know you’re not putting us is absolute danger with your little game?_ ”

- _”How can I make them if you, the King, who talks so high about the Survey Corps, doesn’t approve more budget for our missions and experiments. You barely give money to survive a month, knowing that the people pay a lot of taxes. Maybe we could have made that weapon you wish so much, a long time ago_ ”

 _-”How dare you little rat?!” -_ The man stood up and another gasp was heard. Lord Marquis was completely nervous and confused as to how to calm down the all mighty.

_-”If I’m wrong, and you think so little of us, you can always prove my hypothesis yourself by using my ‘disgusting perfume’ and going out of the walls”_

_-”Are you aware of whom you’re talking to?_ ” -He was walking down to where I was, angry.

_-”Yes, I’m talking to the King”_

_-”I could hang you right now for this” -_ He grabbed my neck and pressed it, hurting me.

- _”Isn’t that the reason you wanted me here? I know you just wanted to prove your point of me being useless and a fake hope symbol to the people, to kill me and controll the people with fear. Is not good for you to have someone like me free and alive, hope makes people ask questions and seek answers...you can’t let the people leave this walls, your reign would be over” -_ The man, with wide eyes, pushed me and let me go. - _”I got it right. I have my value Sir, I even have plenty of projects that may be of most interest to you”_

_-”What are they?”_

_-”You need to guarantee my life Your Majesty, as for now, I’m sure dead people can’t talk”_ Suddenly he hysterically laughed pointing at me, obligating everyone to laugh with him.

 

- _”You...you really are something, negotiating with the King. Fearless, sharp, smart girl...things none of this idiots  with balls are. You give me straight answers, instead of stupid excuses. I like you..I really do_ ” -He pointed at his court members when he said ‘idiots’ and he kept his wicked smile. - _”Is true, I admit I wanted to kill you because you are a threat...but I changed my mind. You showed me how much you’re worth and your answers saved your life, and changed my opinion of your friends. Now, you have my word, I guarantee your safety, no matter where you are. You can feel safe in the Survey Corps headquarters”._

 _-”How thoughtful of you, Sir” -_ I also smiled. The man changed his tone, he seemed 'happy' somehow.

 _-”I am indeed a merciful King. Commander Smith is lucky to have found someone like you...I’m envious. Well my dear, let’s put an end to this audience, Let’s then, see each other tonight at the party, shall we?” -_ He asked me, really pleased.

-” _Sure_ ”

 

The audience ended, and everyone left the room. Lord Marquis seemed angry with me, but said nothing and followed his Majesty out of the place. I breathed again, closed my eyes and pulled myself together, before turning to my two partners. Levi and Erwin were both motionless, looking at the floor and then me.

- _”Was this improvised, or you really had a dying wish today?_ ” -Levi asked.

- _”You know...at the same time Erwin received Lord Marquis letter, Mike received one from Pixis. In that letter, the Commander revealed a conversation he had with who I think, was Lord Marquis and the Minister of Affairs, some days ago._

_The letter said that there was a high chance, the King felt threatened with everything I was doing, and had intentions to kill me right after the audience, as a traitor, in the city square...For that, he would try to find any reason to do so while talking to me, and depending on my answers I would change my and your fate, ….want to know something else? When we left the house this morning, I saw the square from afar, being prepared for me._

_It was on my shoulders to find a way to live or not, Mike helped a bit, but like I told you with proof, my will to live is stronger_ ” -They just couldn’t believe what was happening. I suppressed everything for the moment, this was my first triumph, although I was scared to death until a second ago - _”Yes, Mike was the only one who knew, and after a long thought, he decided it was better for you not to know. Because if for some reason, you said a word in my defense or made some weird plan,  the King would kill you too and maybe go after the S.C -it was not yet sure if what the letter said was true-. And we can’t have the Commander and Humanity’s best soldier killed in a day, because of me. So, I made my bet_ ”.

It was not easy...Mike prepared me for this in just one day, he had an idea, and tried to face it too the best way he could. We thought in all the possibilities, and maybe a chance of getting out of this. But two things were mandatory, I had to go and I can’t show myself as submissive in a world of fake people, the King has enough of those...It was on me at the very end. I thought then, on my way to Sina a way the King would spare me.

 

- _”How come I couldn’t see how severe this was?...Why didn’t you just tell me??”_ -Erwin asked hesitant.

_-”It was my chance to save all of us and repay what you have done for me. I was confident in what I was doing. But, putting that aside, would you have said something in my position?”_

_-”.............No” -_ He took his time before giving a reply, and as a Leader, the answer was obvious, he would sacrifice himself for Levi and I, to not drag the rest of us. Levi had no words either since his answer was the same.

 _-”There you have it” -_ I smiled to them and moved on, as we always do. The trip back to the house was silent but not spoiled, none had the guts so see me straight in the eyes. What would they even say in a situation like this? The valet received us at the entrance and I went directly to my room with no exchange of words, I was exhausted, on the other hand, Erwin sure had some things to say to his roommate.

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

The party was at 7pm, I had plenty of time to look out for some shoes around the city and maybe some souvenirs for the guys is Trost. I took a quick nap and then changed my uniform into a long plain dress -Also Hange’s, but I modified it a little before coming here- and put my money and stuff into a little purse.

 

_*Knock Knock*_

_-”Come in!”_ -I was expecting Erwin or Levi actually, it was not a surprise for me to find the later one in my room, in his casual clothes. -” _Hi again Captain”_

 

_-”I’m still confused about what happened this morning, you know?”_

_-”I don’t expect less”_

_-”How you were so confident about the result?”_

_-”I had no choice. I told you I made a bet and I won. Very Erwin style”_

_-”...Indeed…”_ -He said silently - _”You will go out? I’ll go with you, I’m sick of that room_ ” -It was alright for me so I nodded in response. We left the room and just about time, Smith decided at the last minute to join us, for the sake of ‘camaraderie’. But, I was going shopping, since when men want to go shopping too?

 _-”Don’t take me wrong, but I’m going shopping. Don’t men hate how much time that can take?”-_ I asked them after we arrived to one on the main shopping areas in the city.

 _-”I also need to buy some things, and this is the only available time we have” -_ Smith said.

_-”Actually, I don’t think you have much time to waste looking for your stupid shoes, when the party is at seven and you take like three hours to look decent”_

_-”Levi…”-_ His roommate said.

-” _Damn, learn some manners from him...fucking caveman” -_ Hange’s dress was navy and plain, long sleeved and a bit square. She was taller and bigger than me, so I had to I have to find a belt or something to put on my waist, the shoes, makeup and maybe gloves. I’ve seen everyone with gloves here.

 

I bought the makeup in the third store we went, nothing weird or expensive (is not like I would use it back in the Headquarters unless for painting Mike’s face while he’s sleeping), but it was a little kit that had what I needed. In that same store I found some pretty lip balms for the girls and incredible soaps for the boys. They smell like pure male perfume….just amazing.

 

Levi then found a Tea shop, his dream came true, spending a good time there; and Erwin a delicacy shop to buy things like chocolate and coffee for him, Hange, Mike and other Team leaders. With the afternoon passing quickly, I wasn’t being lucky at all, every place gave the same answer.

 

 _-”So, you don’t have navy heels?”-_ I asked _-”Gold? Silver? nothing?”_

 _-”No miss, those colors are not the trend now. Pastel colors are the most used inside Wall Sina, do you wish to see some models?” -_ All shoe shops were the same and gave the same answers, I was kinda tired already. In the most urgent situation I would go with my uniform again, or with a man’s suit, who knows.

_-”It’s alright. I’m eager to find something specific, thank you”_

Erwin and Levi always waited for me outside the place and saw my defeated face again, they were as tired as me, and again I told them, they could go back to the residence, they refused.

_-”They don’t use dark colors here...everything is pink, white, mint, beige….”_

_-”Why don’t you just buy a new dress and the shoes” -_ The short man stated, as he wanted me to do in first place.

_-”Ugh, I think I’ll have to do that...I don’t find anything to make Hange’s dress work for me”_

_-”There’s two dress shops  around the corner, why don’t we go there?” -_ The tall one said while leading the way.

 

I stayed on the back watching the shop windows, so beautifully arranged and with pretty details everywhere, all Sina was like that. Was there crossing the street that something caught my attention, without thinking about it I went there and saw the most beautiful dress of all, for me at least. I entered the place to try it out and time after, the men found me ready to pay for my dress.

 _-”Did you find a dress of your liking, (Y/n)?”_ -Erwin asked quickly and alarmed when watching me taking out my wallet. Levi, by his side, saw the two boxes being tidy up for me.

- _”Yes! I found the most beautiful dress. And I’ll buy it, with the shoes and earrings_ ” -I was counting the money when Levi and Erwin got closer into the counter at the same time.

 _-”Let me pay for it”_ -They both said in unison. They saw each other, the saleswoman saw then , I saw them, we all saw each other.

_-”I will pay for my own things...Thanks...”_

_-”I insist..” -_ said the Commander

 _-”I told you first I would buy you a dress” -_ And followed my Levi. After a good 5 minutes of talking and debating between them about who should pay for the damn thing, I was put aside, without my consent. My opinion wasn’t heard, Levi made me stay seated on a chain in the corner of the shop while he insisted he said to me first, he would pay. This is ridiculous.

 

 _-”This is the first time I see a woman with two men like this. How you keep them under control Miss?”_ -A worker asked me.

_-”I have no idea about anything Lady. Anything”_

 

_ <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< _

 

I felt like a princess. We got back just in time for me to take  bath and start my beauty routine, I did a beautiful hairdo, makeup, perfume and my dress.It was a beautiful lavender dress, with translucent long sleeves and chest, what made it beautiful is that it covered the main parts with an embroidery and little crystals that made a great ombre effect with the skirt and the sleeves, but was still simple besides all that.

It was time to go, so I grabbed a little purse I had for Hange’s dress, and walked down the stairs with my partners. I interrupted their intense conversation about the mission again with my presence and a sudden silence filled the room, I felt awkward with them both staring at me.

 _-”How do I look?_ ” -More silence and their eyes looking around the dress, I was getting nervous, maybe I did wrong on choosing this dress, or was the makeup... - _”Be honest, do I really look terrible?”_

 

 _-”What? No!...no”-_ Both answered at the same time again. They were on sync lately, that’s weird. Scary, indeed.

 _-”You look like a Lady of Wall Sina (Y/n). Really pretty_ ” -The tall blond man smiled at me, in a different way or that’s what I felt for a second. The blood was rushing to my cheeks and I feared a huge blush would make an appearance now. Calm down (Y/n)...is just Erwin.

 _-”You look..ok, let’s go, we’re going to be late_ ” -we followed Levi to the carriage and with a new feeling, we arrived to the King’s party at the castle.

 

The party Hall was bigger than what I expected and way more decorated than the room where I had the audience this morning. Lots of gold and paintings, lots of details and complex designs, first time in my life seeing that. Everyone had huge gowns, tiaras and jewelry, exactly like a dream, dancing at the rhythm of music and showing off their social status.

Lots of people were present, coming and going looking at us, asking who we were, from what street we were. We moved together to a side, where the chocolat table was and awkwardly saw each other not having a single idea of what to do. Erwin was pretty alright on his own, lots of girls seemed interested in him, showing smirks and smiles while walking in front of him, he always polite enough to smile back; Levi was the same, but his ass face made them go. And well, in general girls hated me for being with them both. Normal.

 

- _”My dear guest of honor arrived!” -_ We heard. Everyone in that room kneeled down for the King, we too, and he crossed the place to meet me, and took my hands placing a kiss in one - _”Just look at this flower!...Beautiful!. Here, my noble people, is our heroine! The girl who survived the outside world on her own!” -_ He made sure everyone was listening, the mood changed. _-”Miss (Y/n) discovered a way we can control titans and establish peace in our kingdom, let’s make her feel welcomed”._

 

The King, not minding anyone else, took my hand and put it around his, making me follow him around, separating me from Levi and Erwin. _“There’s so much people who wants to meet you, let me present them to you_ ” -he told me. The next half and hour pass by just talking with all kinds of people for little amount of time before His Highness got tired and changed the social group. He did that countless times, I also got to eat and drink tons of things. Just once I could see Erwin and Levi together fro distance talking to a group of people, and we locked eyes, but nothing else after that. I was getting tired, my feet hurt because of the shoes; if I saw them another time I would tell them to go back.

 

I tried to get away but it was so hard without me looking like a disrespectful woman. For my luck, the man was attentive enough to read me -” _Oh, I made you tired. I’ve been taking you everywhere without rest”_

_-”Just a little, I’ll be fine if I rest for a minute”_

_-”Of course, let’s go to a resting place” -_ He said extending his hand to take me to a new room -like a Tea room- next to the dancing Hall, it wasn’t completely empty, two guards were on the door.

 

I sat on a chair and took off my shoes, for being my first time using heels this long, I did ok. The man grabbed a chair and put it next to mine.

- _”People here really like you. You’ve made a great impression”-_ He said pouring two cups of tea.

 _-”That’s a huge compliment. I would have never expected that_ ”

_-”It’s true. You’re different from them, even here, you’re not afraid to speak your mind and stay true to yourself. Half of those people have dirty tricks on their sleeves”_

_-”Politics…”_

_-”Indeed, someone like you is needed in a place like this” -_ His tone changed, I wasn’t looking at him, but I was sure he was staring at me with different eyes, he came back to be the King I spoke to this morning. - _”Would you stay here is Sina if you could?”_

I turned a bit to have a look at him and yes, I met his dark eyes and his persona seated comfortably of the chair with a smile. - _”I’m not sure. This kind of lifestyle is not my type” -_ My comment made his smile fade.

_-”You really prefer staying with those soldiers? Doing what? Mixing alcohol with water? (Y/n), you’re under royal protection now, you can do whatever you want, achieve whatever you want here...you can open a company with laboratories. You don’t want that?”_

_-”Sir...please…Don’t insist” -_ I stood up, this wasn’t going well, he’s getting angry.

 _-”I told you I liked you, that wasn’t a lie. I do and is my wish for you to stay here by my side”-_ He followed my movements and placed himself in front of me, defiant but trying to not push me away by being too violent - _”You’re greater than you think, your ideas deserve more than a dirty soldier room. I can change your life, together we can make so much things_ ”

- _”I...I can’t accept that. Maybe is true, I deserve more Your Highness, but not the title of the King’s whore”_

_-”Are you really rejecting me…(Y/n)”_

_-”I’m afraid so, Sir. Now, if you excuse me” -_ With care I moved to a side to be out of the immediate space of the King. He just stayed there breathing heavily and clenching his teeth and fists. It was time for me to go and meet my partners again. I remembered my shoes were still in front of the chair and I took a minute to think whether it was worth it to take them or not. I was too slow, it seems, a second was enough to make the King take me with both of his hands and plant a kiss on my lips.

 

The rest was too fast to even recall, I pushed him a couple of times, failing completely making him grab me too hard to rip one of my sleeves and some fabric from the skirt; and not finding a way to make him stop- -he was trying to go further- I remembered that hairpin weapon Mike gave me for this kind of moments. Not hesitating once, I stabbed him once on the neck and slapped him. I just know the guards came to where the King was, alarmed; I flee the scene and once I saw Erwin and Levi, I grabbed both of their arms and took them out of the dancing Hall. I was panicking.

 

 _-”We need to get out of here...get me out of here”_ -I told Erwin. Levi, also  concerned, wanted answers to understand what was happening.

_-”The fuck happened? Where were you?”_

_-”I...stabbed the King...please, just get me out of here….fast”_ -They understood then, the ripped dress, the missing shoes, my messy hair and my tears of desperation. Now I was sure that man would kill me. He’s the kind who wouldn’t take a ‘no’ for an answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love drama.  
> Who doesn't?
> 
> Till next time!. I'll start pouring some damn romance into this next time (yeah, is about time)


	16. Swallow me earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drama solved, mission day and embarrassing outcoming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How many months did I stay out? A bunch...I know. I was going through some rough time, and I could just not think about writing anything. I'm sorry.   
> But I do have space not to keep doing my fanfic for you, not weekly, but surely more often. Thanks for the patience.   
> Other than that, please enjoy!  
> \----  
> Remember english is not my mother tongue and spelling, grammar mistakes can happen.   
> SnK is not mine, but this story, hell yes is mine

Erwin was quick and told Levi to take me out of the castle; whatever the guard or the King said, the Commander would deal with it; so, really calm, Levi and I left the place with the excuse that I felt really sick and I needed to go back to Lord Marquis house quickly, where y medication was. Leaving the city was not smart, and the best thing we could do was to try to solve everything with words. If that was possible. 

 

I just stayed in my room, lost in thoughts and touching the ripped fabric of my dress, Levi knocked on my door to see how I was and asked how I was.

- _ ”I’m ok…” _ -I replied looking at him and his desire to know what the hell happened -” _ The King kissed me...by force and I stabbed him before something else happened if that’s what you wanted to confirm _ ”

_ -”Well, yes. Is good to know the situation. Let’s see if the King is as merciful as he says he is” _

_ -”I guess” - _ I turned to keep looking at the window. I was a bit concerned for them more than myself. I would hate the King to punish Levi and Erwin because of myself...and about that, how was Erwin? Nothing would happen to him, right?

_ -”Don’t worry too much, you didn't do anything wrong this time. Erwin is smart enough to think about something. Let’s just wait” _

 

And we did. An hour later Erwin arrived at the house, he was alone and his stoic face wasn’t spoiling anything. I run down the stairs to meet him at the living room where Levi already was drinking tea.

_ -”Just get to the point. Are we going to be killed or what? _ ” -asked Levi. Erwin gave a sigh and a little smile brightened his face.

- _ ”I had to wait for a while in the castle because the King wanted to write a letter of apology for (Y/n). He asked me to give this to you” _ -he said showing me a sealed letter. I took it but the confusion was still there. - _ ”He won’t be doing anything to us since he admitted his wrongdoings and (Y/n)’s self-defense was a natural reaction. Also, he didn’t give any details about the incident or his wound, and seemed like he wanted to care for it silently before everyone heard of it  _ ” -He finished by letting out a relieved sigh and giving us a look. 

- _ ”I’m sure is not the first time that King behaves like a freaking  animal, but for sure it’s a first for him that a woman stabs him _ ” -Levi added finishing his drink and standing up and leaving - _ ”I’ll go to rest for a few hours at least, we still have a departure schedule _ ”

- _ ”Is true, we should rest before returning to Trost _ ” -The Commander saw the man leaving the scene and the saw me looking at the envelope which I already opened and read. Yes, it was an apology, but also, some kind of weird love letter, saying how important I could be for him and the typical ‘no one has treated me like that before’. Cliché. At least, my heart could rest, and I was relieved that no one would get hurt. Erwin was still standing there looking at me, waiting until I finished reading.

- _ “I’m ok” _ -The same scene as with Levi, I know he must have been really concerned about me, since I never said what happened and to what extent. We looked at each other and it was not awkward, it was peaceful. -” _ Just a bad experience for a moment, but everything is fine now...you should go rest too, I’m sure you’re tired.  Is late _ ” -To change the mood, I gave a smile and started walking towards the room’s hallway on the second floor, but my attempt of optimism was not taking seriously since The Commander kept looking at me seriously.   

- _ ”I’m the one who should be saying that (Y/n) _ ”

- _ ”You do a lot of things already...and I’ve made you endure the consequences of my plans and actions...like today -probably the only one, besides Mike and Levi, who are calm every time I create a crisis-. I haven’t thanked you properly for that, so this is the least I can do….That... sounded so cheesy, ugh” - _ Comforting words weren’t my forte, but right now, that line was too sentimental for my liking. 

Erwin smiled at me and gave me a pat on the head while passing me by, it was after a few seconds where he stopped and turned around to look at me again.

- _ ”Your first experience in Sina wasn’t pleasant, I apologize for that. You prepared so much and didn’t even got to dance once at the party _ ” -That was true, never crossed my mind.

-” _ That’s true...but why mention it now? How cruel...will you compensate me for that or what? _ ”

_ -”Should I?” _

_ -”What?”  _ -I asked jokingly about the compensation, so I thought his answer was going to be as sarcastic as my question, but for my surprise, it was genuine. 

_ -”It’s fair, I’ll compensate you somehow after the mission _ ” -He turned again and walked away to his room.

 

_ -”Compensate...how?” - _ Sina was indeed surreal, not unpleasant. I kept thinking what he was planning…

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

I finished doing three samples of my final experiment, all different, to give it to Hange and explained to the Survey Corps Members how to use it, in tonight’s meeting. Just when I was labeling them, Reiner came to my office running, thanking me and hugging me for no apparent reason -so I thought- and when I was just about to ask, he blurted some words about me, the King and food. 

\-  _ “Braun, let her go, she’s not completely healed yet”  _ -Mike also came to find me and take me to where the mess was. 

It was a little chaos, and all the Headquarters were upside down. The King, as a way to repay me and apologizing, sent all kinds of goods: food, horses, new equipment, casual clothing, modern appliances for lighting and calefaction.

Levi was trying to calm everyone, but it was impossible with the carriages coming in and out of the place, afterward I recognized Lord Marquis on the end of the mess hall, he was talking to Erwin and giving orders on where to put everything. Mike and I got closer and entered the conversation.

-” _ Miss (Y/n) I was asking for you. His Majesty sent me to give you this -a letter- and to deliver all of this to the Survey Corps, since this is where you’re staying, as a sign of his enormous mercy and grace. He also sends apologies to you, Sina hopes you’re grateful with all this since you will be receiving goods monthly _ ” -Reginald Marquis and I weren’t the best of friends, all his words and kindness were forced and his new mission was making sure I stayed in my place. I expected nothing less.

_ -”I’m grateful. Don’t worry Lord Marquis, we will make good use of all this _ ” -I gave a look to Commander Erwin for a second, and he was taken aback because I restrained myself for saying something really sarcastic, but I didn’t. I really wanted all of that food to stay here every month...I’m greedy and I won’t miss the chance to take as much as I can from that crazy King, for everyone at the SC, they deserve it more than me.

 

After inspecting everything, Lord Marquis left the headquarters, and we held one last meeting before the expedition outside the walls. It was quick, and enough to get the soldier ready for the next day. Hange was inspecting the samples I made, trying to use them as a cologne and rubbing herself to Levi was the last thing I was hoping for.

_ -”We will come back with results, I’m sure we will succeed ” _ \- I heard a voice behind me from the Commander, also looking at the funny scene - _ ”Just focus on recovering”. _

I was and I wasn’t listening to him, while looking at him I started thinking about the hectic life I’ve had since I ran away with Klein, my cousin, and for some reason the only thing I could say, like to myself, was -” _ Why are you so nice to me? _ ” -Erwin was trying to decode what I was doing and I came back to earth, I waved my hand in a ‘Forget it’ expression, and replied to his comment  _ “I know the mission will go smoothly, just be sure to come back alive, is no fun if I don’t have anyone to argue with”   _

 

I turned around and went to my room, for some reason I sighed heavily…

 

Everyone got up early to leave for the mission, and me, like a mom, kept repeating to Hange, Levi and Mike how to use the samples. Levi just ignored me because I was being a nuisance and Erwin was in his own world giving orders, I barely spoke to him and I didn’t want to interrupt; it was then, after an hour later, that everyone was ready to leave. I wished everyone a good day without casualties, and they were gone. 

 

It was 5am and a long day just for me. I decided to sleep for a couple of hours and then think about my plans. Going out to the city seemed like a good idea, maybe to buy a treat for me, and really have time for myself after all this time. 

And so it was, for once I went shopping for a skirt, a casual dress and two blouses, and I pass by the bar I was last time, and now that I think about it...I don’t quite remember what happened, everything is blurry. I decided to try my memory since I know that I may do crazy things when drunk, so I went to the bar and ordered a beer. - _ “Hey yo’ maam’ good to see you around again!” - _ said a waiter smiling brightly.

_ -”Oh, you remember me? _ ”-I wanted answers for my confused mind.

- _ ”Of course I do, we all do! You came here a few weeks ago with your friend from the Corps with that sexy dress, right? _ ” 

_ -”Oh yeah...that was me” _ \- I remember that, and I remember some conversations of Reiner and Jean.

_ -”Yeah, and your superior came yelling and our clients went crazy and started throwing money and then...” - _ he kept talking about whatever, I wasn’t listening...looking at my shopping bags, first, I understood where the money came from; second, I remember I was arguing with Levi and something happened that….that….oh shit….I threw up all over him and then… _ -”Oh, fuck no…”- _ I said, and the dude stopped his idea confused. -” _ Sorry, I forgot I had to meet someone, thanks so much, I will be back another day!” _

 

I left the place and I finally remembered my embarrassing moment. How could I talk to Erwin like that...just what the hell was my problem? ...I kept walking and every ten minutes I would stop just to remind me how stupid I was…’ _ I can look at him the same again… _ ’- I said to myself, recalling the  _ ‘Your parents did a good job on making you, to get those eyes...I want to know the secret’ _ line...this was worst than the Sina situation. I don’t know, I hope he doesn’t think I’m a pervert...maybe he does, and that’s why he’s nice to me...because I’m crazy...damn.

 

The existential crisis kept going but I still wanted to look around the city. I found some good places to eat and shop, the library was really nice, I saw a little barber shop, some workers doing wood and iron appliances, and much more. The day was sunny and the weather was really nice, at that moment I saw a really peculiar shop in one of the streets and decided to go in. It had a special sale on all the merchandise, ‘antique’ merchandise, things like brushes, chairs, mirrors, clothes..pretty awesome to be honest. The owner told me that the family was moving to Trost district because of his oldest son and a new job, so he was selling everything that was kept in the storage. A few things caught my attention, like some glasses that could be perfect to Hange and a good combat knife for Mike...then I say a pretty cravat for Levi, but should I buy him something? -the image of my vomit on him came back- I think I should. And, the Commander, I need an apologetic gift for him too; looking around I couldn’t think of anything fit for him, or something he could at least use. After a minute I saw a beautiful fountain pen made of wood, and it looked fit for him since he works all the time signing papers and doing reports. I bought those 4 gifts and took them with me, I was happy, I really wanted to surprise everyone. 

I wanted to say for another hour, but I didn’t want to be late for when the guys came back from the mission. Still, I walk all I wanted. I was on my way to get my horse to go back to the headquarters but in the way, a black carriage parked near me, and a window opened. -“ _ Good afternoon Miss (Y/n) _ ”- a male voice talked to me. The voice was familiar and yes it was who I suspected.

- _ ”Good afternoon Lord Marquis”  _

_ -” Are you heading back to the headquarters? I’m going that way” _

_ -”No one is there today, there is a mission outside the walls” _

_ -”Oh, I’m aware of that. I didn’t saw you in the Survey Corps formation this morning. I guessed you stayed back, so I was hoping to talk to you for a minute...shall we?”  _ -He opened the carriage door, smiling with that sarcastic smile.

_ -”I’ll be riding my horse, thank you for the gesture” _

_ -”Alright, as you wish” - _ I wondered what kind of business he could have here, but nothing came to mind. The matter with the king was settled and that was it. 

We arrived almost at the same time to the base, I took my stuff and guided Marquis to the Mess Hall. Not wasting anyone’s time, I sat down at once so we could keep on with our lives -and I hated this kind of suspense-.

_ -”Well, Lord Reginald, can I know the reason for your visit?”  _ -I said seriously.

_ -”You won’t offer me nothing to drink at least?”  _

_ -”Well, do you want something to drink?” _

- _ ”Not really. I thought it was a matter of politeness” _ -I was not being sarcastic at first, but Reginald always gave me this bad vibe. It was something more than just distrust, but his tone now was ironic, on purpose. - _ ”I guess that’s how you were raised...how was it..and uncle? a friend of you father’s? _ ”

- _ ”It was a my dad’s friend, he told me to be polite depending on the person, not everyone deserved that kind of treatment _ ”

-” _ I think that’s true, wise words. And tell me, why aren’t you in today’s mission? You have made a name for yourself, and you even have an invention. You should have lead the team _ ” 

-” _ I’m recovering from an injury and I was advised not to participate _ ” -What was his point? I could not tell.

- _ ”Oh yeah, from your heroic survival story, of course.The Kings is still impressed, and curious just like me, did you knew something about ‘odor camouflage’ from your mentor? _ ” -He started looking around, with his arms crossed.

- _ ”No, I didn’t. He died when I was young and I stayed alone until joining the military _ ”

-” _ Those must have been some really long years, right? _ ”

_ -”I don’t understand what do you want from all this questions _ ” -I was starting to get annoyed- ”Do  _ this have something to do with the King’s audience or the incident at the ball? _ ”

- _ ”Not at all, those topics are not of my concern right now _ ”- He started playing with his tie and pocket watch- _ “ You know, I was looking back at my memories and then some documents... I saw that you have no date of formally entering the Survey Corps, in fact, you have no enlisting date. Which also connects with all those times, the Corps handed a list of recruits, and casualties,  and the meetings with the Commanders of Garrison and Military Police. Guess what? You were nowhere to be found, until a few months ago” _

- _ ”I see, this is an investigation?” - _ he was starting to show his true face _ -”You must have spent so much time looking at papers and stuff to make up the story you have in your head. Did you just looked at the records stored at Sina? _ ”

-” _ I just care for the citizens inside the walls” _

_ -”That sounds as fake as my politeness right now” - _ The mood changed. He was trying to find about me since a while ago and was no good. Why is he doing this now? I was not sure, but I needed to find out soon - ” _ Anyways, those papers only have general information, is not even accurate...Sir. Official records can just be disclosed with The Commander’s authorization. My records can show whatever, just as they say Team Leader Zacharias had two wives. Two women who, officially in the records, do not exist _ ”

-” _ You are skilled using words Miss, but not convincing. I just wanted to pass by and give you the message _ ” -He said as he stood up preparing to leave.

- _ ”What message?” _

_ -”That nothing is a secret inside the walls _ ” -He looked at his clock once more

-” _ So is this your true face, Marquis?” _

_ -”We’re even then. Don’t you worry, time will tell” - _ He gave a goodbye from afar and left the building. What just happened and why? From all the people, Reginald Marquis was not someone I suspected, but I was wrong. Something new to deal with and the bad vibe was still there. 

 

I took some time to clean a little, prepare some refreshing drinks for the soldiers, and wrapped the gifts I bought to give them to my bosses tonight after dinner. I was starting to get anxious for what happened with the man from Sina and the results from the Corps mission, they would return in any minute now. I took a deep breath and sat on the stairs to wait…

 

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

 

I fell asleep and the noise from the horses woke me up.  _ ‘They’re here! _ ’. I ran to the main entrance to welcome everybody, I expected happiness and a great result. 

- _ ”Move!” _ -A soldier yelled while carrying a stretcher with a wounded soldier - _ ”Let’s move him to the infirmary _ ” -I saw it shocked, but I didn’t see blood. I quickly looked outside and a lot of people were missing, including Erwin and Levi. Confused with everything I started looking for Hange and Mike, who were taking the horses to drink water and talking.

- _ ”Hange! Mike! What happened? Where is everyone? What happened to that guy?” _ -I asked. Mike gave me a pat on the head - _ ”He drank too much, too quickly _ ”- he said before leaving and Hange’s eyes got wider.

-” _ (Y/n), we made huge advancements today. And it was all thanks to you!! _ ” -Just then I received the biggest hug from my boss -” _ With your formula, we could make a more accurate map of our surroundings! You had to see...killing titans was a piece of cake, they could not even notice us! It was so good to be able to take notes, and we even could do some tests on them!! We came back awhile ago, but everyone was so happy that Erwin let them go celebrate in the city, Levi and he must be on their way. And how was your day? _ ” -She asked happily.

- _ ”Not as amazing as your day...but I went to visit the city. I have a surprise for you, I left a gift in your room _ ’- She hugged me again, claiming I was the cutest thing alive and started talking about her experiments on the titans when The Commander and Captain finally arrived at the headquarters. Mike appeared again to take their horses and everybody’s best friend Levi, shared some meaningful words -” _ Oi, that liquid made me smell like shit. I thought I would throw up during the whole damn mission _ ” -He said while giving me the bottle of my sample half empty and Erwin walked slowly toward us with a light smile -” _ The whole headquarters will smell like fucking hell tonight with everyone drunk and no one taking a shower... _ ” -That was his ‘thank you’ in his language. Levi left and Hange followed him to keep making fun of him and asking if he wanted a perfume after his bath. 

 

-” _ We made history thanks to you (Y/n) _ ” -the Commander commented. 

-” _ I knew everything was going to go smoothly. I could have joined the mission and prove my point… _ ” -I was not mad. A bit sad maybe looking at the sky getting darker, and wanted to make him feel bad for not letting me go. How childish of me. - _ ”Hange said you had a blast out there” _

He stayed silent and I looked at him still waiting for an answer. He was trying not to smile too much at my comments, I could see it, but he faced me at last and gave me a sincere smile.  _ -”You will join us for our next mission. Let’s talk tomorrow about the results and your new training” - _ He said - _ ”How was your day on your own at the headquarters?” _

_ -”Now that you mention it, I could have taken advantage of the situation and make a mess in every room, but I decided to go shopping to the city. The original plan now sounds perfect”  _

_ -”That would make Levi really anxious” _

_ -”Even better”  _

_ -”How about your wounds, are you still in pain?”  _

_ -”Hmmm, not really. Sometimes I forgot about it and want to start practicing. But, I don’t want to be yelled by everyone again” _

_ -”That how they show they care about you” - _ He said looking at my eyes -” _ You’ve been with us quite some time _ ” _ - _ For a second I felt chills and it was weird...We stayed looking at each other for a few seconds until we were interrupted. 

 

- _ ”(Y/n)” _ -Mike called me suddenly from the entrance door. That surprised me and changed the mood completely, thank god -” _ You should go rest early today, we have work to do tomorrow” _

_ -”But…” _

_ -”No, you can’t go drink at the city tonight _ ” -He plainly said. I was just about to ask the reason but he was faster -” _ You should ask Levi and Erwin about that _ ”

_ -”What?” _

_ -”Don’t you like blue eyes? _ ” 

Shame on me. That terrible feeling of guilt and embarrassment consumed me, and the scene started replaying again and again in my head, with the Commander just beside me just looking at me.

- _ ”HaHaHa...I don’t know what you’re talking about Mike! _ ” -Nervous fake laugh sounds legit. I switched stares with Mike and Erwin, knowing it made everything worst. - _ ”I don’t remember anything about that...right Commander? _ ”

- _ ”You actually were funny last time” _ -Erwin answered. What a traitor. Probably I blushed and covered my face with my hands in response, I could not believe my ears. I walked fast, running away not even saying a word. I know Erwin said something but Mike didn’t even bother, they were enjoying this.

 

Next day was a free day for everyone but me. First time in the morning I had to wake up early to have a check up with the doctor. My wound was way better, needed another month to heal, but I could return to my practice avoiding big hits at all costs. I was given a report on my health that I had to give to Erwin, the last person I wanted to see today. 

I sat on a bench outside the headquarters looking at my medical report, but I was thinking about yesterday’s talk with Lord Marquis. I was avoiding thinking about it, but something must be done about it. Trying to figure out a plan or decode his intentions, without noticing I started talking out loud to myself. I was alone anyway…

-” _ Why can I be at peace? Now, this damn fat dude wants to ruin me for no reason. I can’t tell this to Mike...he did too much for me already, I can’t be relying on everyone every single minute. Or I should...damn, I don’t know. I should find out first what is his motive and maybe I can make a plan. Because Hange, she doesn’t know anything, Levi, forget it and Erwin….Commander Smith...is not even that serious to tell him something”  - _ I watched Eren, Mikasa and Armin working on the barn, the sun was bright and everything seemed brighter and pretty, and for the first time I realized Armin had blue eyes -”He has  _ blue eyes...just like him...damn it. Shut up (Y/n), it was enough with last night’s awkward situation...if Mike wouldn’t have said that, we would have talked more, it was nice. Erwin really has a cool way to say things, maybe because of his voice tone. Manly...yeah, I should stop talking about him, (Y/n), you sound like you have a crush on your superior… _ ”

-” _ And do you have it? _ ” -I jumped off the bench shocked and got completely paralyzed.  Standing behind me, with some papers on his hands was Erwin. 

-” _ How much did you heard? _ ” -I needed to know 

-” _ I didn’t know you talked to yourself _ ” -He laughed. 

-” _ Forget it...ok? You heard nothing...You didn’t even see me today _ ” -I grabbed my stuff and walked slowly like an animal in danger -” _ Just...bye! _ ” -That was almost a scream, and I vanished for the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have ideas, please comment. I love reading your comments. Thanks again! See you later

**Author's Note:**

> How was it guys??, If you liked it, please comment and submit ideas, critics, etc. I'm open to make the story you like. Give me ideas, no matter if they're nasty and sexual, this story will have some of that later.  
> I will upload a new chapter on Wednesday or Thursday, wait for it!!  
> Love u guys.


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